I Think I Just Died Inside

I'm not going to lie. I think very few people are as awesome at Halloween as me most of the time (Tip: It's all about the attitude), but this little girl has already kicked my ass ten times over. Winner: Best costume of all time.

Also, just last night I already saw eight Max's. I'm so over this Wild Thing craze already. Is this how other people feel about vampires? Speaking of, The Vampire Diaries has me completely head-over-heels.

Nightmare on Leonard Street

I am so pissed right now. If you know me at all then you are aware of exactly how much I love love love Halloween. It's one of the few days of the year where I'm actually excited to do something and don't have a problem standing a lot or walking (two of my least favorite activities).

Of course, it is this weekend that my foot decides to stop working. Randomly yesterday, the arch of my left foot started hurting. By the end of the night I was hobbling around like a cripple. Even though I was so wasted that I couldn't read I could still feel the pain--it was that bad. But I kind of hoped that if I slept it off and kept off my foot for eight hours or so it'd be OK today.

I wake up and it's just as bad as it was last night, maybe worse. I've iced it, elevated it, stretched it, massaged it. None of it worked. The only thing I've found to help at all, oddly, is wearing heels. I'm sitting around, unshowered, unkempt, in sweats, no makeup,...and heels. It's weird. And obnoxious. I love Halloween almost as much as I love birthdays, maybe even more. And I don't even know if I can go to the big parade tonight! All I want to do tonight is dance and party and have an awesome time. I don't know how I'm going to do that if I can't even walk.

I knew I should have been Lady GaGa in Paparazzi. (That was a legit costume idea of mine. Don't judge.)

I Know I'm a Hard Act to Follow, But...

I know that very few people who read this actually live in New York, but for those of you who do, or for those who just love food and frugality, check out my roommate's new blog. It comes up first thing on Google blog search!

The Desert of the Real

I am up in the clouds right now, flying high. And no, not that kind of high. I'm on an airplane. That's right. Technology rocks. Free wifi on my flight. Totally loving in. It's given me the perfect opportunity to put out there what I realized on my earlier flight that has been aching to get out ever since.

I HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH KEANU REEVES!

Life goal: accomplished. Keanu Reeves cannot believably be climactic. Whenever there is a big moment in a film—that’s when he fails. Remember that part in The Lake House when he cries?* Or that abysmal speech in Johnny Mnemonic where he stands on the New Jersey dump and dramatically proclaims “I…WANT…ROOM SERVICE!” (You probably don’t because most people haven’t seen that film unless they went to a weird school where they take lots of classes on robots and cyberpunk. But, trust me, it just doesn’t work. )

The audience can always tell that these are supposed to be major turning points and they can tell he’s trying so hard. That’s what makes it so incredibly sad (and bad).

You might be thinking The Matrix is the exception to this rule: WRONG! Trust me, as someone who is practically minoring in The Matrix, he still cannot pull it off. All the big moments of the film happen to him, not because of him. That classic stoner “Whoah” only works because it is so anticlimactic and nonchalant compared to what he just witnessed. All the exciting moments in the battle scenes have nothing to do with Keanu, they’re just awesome special effects. Whether or not the bullet stops infront of a wall or in front of Keanu Reeves, it's still going to be just as badass.

I feel much better with myself now that I’ve figured out why Keanu Reeves sucks so much. He just can’t climax, and that's that.

Oh and here's the Johnny Mnemonic video. It's so bad you really should watch it.


*The producer of this film came and spoke in one of my classes earlier this year. Even he apologized for this film. On a personal note though, I’ve seen it probably about four times and I’d see it again.

Psyched

I just finished watching the Psych finale and I really don't know how it happened but that show is just one of my favorites. I always loved it. I'm probably about 50% of the fanbase, the other 50% being my friend Thomas (he's also the one I watch My Boys with, no surprise). I honestly can't resist a show that gives fake aliases (another example: Veronica Mars) and makes Fast & The Furious references while in the midst of an intense car chase. Oh, and it has two people from Disney Channel Origianal Movies starring in it plus Bud from the Cosby Show. My heart just welled up when Juliette was about to tell Shawn she loved him but then was crushed when he called her Abigail. It really put a damper on my morning so to cheer me up I needed to watch my go-to Psych video which I am now sharing with you, probably not for the first time either. I hope you appreciate the piAAAno as much as I do because that's clearly the best part.

Woman Like A Man

If Cillian Murphy just had real eyebrows he'd look almost exactly like All-American Rejects Dude. Less like a woman, yet less attractive. Odd.

Let Me Remind You That I Am The King of R&B

There are some songs that are just so underappreciated I don't understand. Imma Flirt by R. Kelly featuring T.I. and T-Pain is one of them. Listen, Love, Learn.

This is NOT How We Do It On The Mainland

One of my friends is from Hawaii and today we somehow started talking about popular Hawaiian music. I really don't think there are any adjectives in the entire English language to describe the awesome/terribleness of what you're about to see/hear. Know only this: what you're about to witness was made in the last few years and is one of the top Hawaiin jams.

I Hate Bros

This would only be OK if it was created by Barney Stinson and had that certain legend--ary charm.

Pepsi Releases iPhone App To Help Men "Score" With Women and Brag About It On Twitter

I Smell Sex & Zombies, Yeah

Last night my friend Nina came over to have a do-over. On Friday we had met up to watch a movie, smoke, and go to bed early. Somehow we ended up fucked up, out of my apartment, and out until 5am. We decided to try again to have our calm movie night so she came over and I told her no depressing, serious, or scary flicks.

We watched 28 Days Later.

Now, even though that went against all of my protocol the second she picked up that movie and said "OH EM GEE! Cillian Murphy!" I couldn't resist. Sarah introduced me to dear ol' Cillian way back in 2005 and he's been my boyfriend ever since. Yet somehow I still have never seen 28 Days Later. We watched it and I was actually surprised how not scary the movie was. It was like God smiled down on me, allowing me to both look at Cillian and not have nightmares.

While watching, Nina and I were just mesmerized by his beauty. He is one of the most interesting looking man I've ever seen. We finally figured out what made him so beautiful but not gay-faced.

He has the head of a man.
And the face of a woman.
See, if you just give him long hair and a more feminine head he looks like a woman. Or would if I had done some real photoshopping.
You could also just check him out in Breakfast on Pluto where his Woman Face is very obvious even with his Man Head.
Between watching Cillian go all ape-shit on army guys/zombies and falling even more in love I did some stalking on imdb to great success. Our boy here is in some great upcoming films filled with other beautiful faces/boyfriends.

He's got a movie on deck with Ellen Page, Susan Sarandon, Keith Carradine, Virginia Newcomb, Bill Pulman, and Josh Lucas. There's also one with Colin Farrell and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. But--the most important one of all--he's doing a film with Marion Cottilard, Ellen Page (again, gross), Michael Cain, and...
Leonardo DiCaprio and...


I don't think you're ready for this one, but here it is...



JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT!!!


Life is so good right now.

It's That Time Again

That's right! It's time for not one, not three, but TWO side-by-sides.

Sarah once showed me this glory of a video "Faggoty Attention" by Adam Joseph which rivals Johnny Weir's delectable "Pokerface" video. Ever since I first saw that something about it had been bothering me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it--until now. Adam Joseph has a slight case of the No Face. Case in Point:

That's Adam Joseph on the left and Suede from Project Runway on the right. They're even both giving me The Eyes! And you know you have a No Face situation on your hands when you it takes you a second to figure out which one this is:
Now, this one there's some mystery surrounding. I'm not 100% sure that this is the same Adam Joseph as above. He's also a singer so it's close enough. But he has a major case of the Brandon face. I give you Brandon on the left and Adam on the right.
I hope you enjoyed today's side-by-sides. I now have to go listen to how NASA is trying to destroy the moon and drown us all. And here's the "Faggoty Attention" video for those of you who haven't seen it yet. Modern day classic, swear to God.

Home Movies

So this is not actually a home movie of me but it definitely was/is a dream of mine but this nine year old rich bitch beat me to it--FRAME BY FRAME!

Can I Get A Countdown?

Sometimes when I'm really exhausted I listen to certain music to counter my mood and get my adrenaline pumping. Seeing as how tired lately I've been and how I assume this fad will continue for a while longer I thought it lucrative to make a playlist. I now present you with the highlights from "Get Pumped Up-Side Down" (that title may or may not be a reference to my senior year highschool yearbook).

Top 35 Songs to Get You Pumped:
Aaron's Party by Aaron Carter
Willenium by Will Smith
SOS by Rihanna
Don't Trust Me by 3Oh!3
Take You There by Sean Kingston
Piece of Me by Britney Spears
Don't Phunk With My Heart by The Black Eyed Peas
My Lips Like Sugar by Flo Rida
Love Foolsophy by Jamiroquai
Ain't No Other Man by Christina Aguilera
Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson
Disturbia by Rihanna
Krazy by Pitbull feat. Lil John
Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship feat. Queen B
Part Time Lover by Stevie Wonder
Good Luck by Basement Jaxx
Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
Get It Shorty by Lloyd
Callin Out by Lyrics Born
Numb/Encore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park
We Run This by Missy Elliott
I Know You Want Me by Pitbull
Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder
Renegade by Styx
Church by T-Pain feat. Teddy Verseti
Get It Poppin by Fat Joe feat. Nelly
Move On Up by Curtis Mayfield
Footloose by Kenny Loggins
Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5
A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley
Disease by Matchbox 20
She's Only 18 by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Do What You Want by OK Go
Toxic by Britney Spears

Craft Foul (Like Party Foul, but Lamer)

There are so many reasons that the Internet is my favorite thing ever and this blog Regretsy (get it: regret + etsy! It took me a second, too. Don't feel bad) has now been added to that list. Here are a few highlights from the first few pages:

Friday Lolz

So after Jezebel destroyed my life by not preparing me for a woman wearing period juice as lipstick I went to my other blogs to find an anti-dote. Thank god for this: