Jan 30, 2011

Another Year, Another Wig

Last night we celebrated my birthday here in Urbana. Keeping in tradition, I, of course, wore a wig. It was a pretty epic night. Sarah got her nipples tweaked while dancing on a stage. We played Penny Can, watched Weekend at Bernie's 2, danced on poles and dropped it real low. My actual birthday has a lot to live up to now. Though, I doubt it will involve as much glitter (sadly).


Jan 20, 2011

Chace Crawford: Gayer Than You Think

When it came to Gossip Girl I was always more of a Chuck Bass fan myself, but after seeing his fine ass in person and then watching my new favorite horrible movie Twelve I've gotten pretty into Chace Crawford. Though, not as into him as I was when he was slated to star in a Footloose remake. Him backing out of that gave me major blue balls. Its not even funny. But long story short: I developed a little crush on Chace and that crush has grown into full-fledged love after doing a Google search and seeing just how flippin' gay he is! It kind of has me speechless so I'm going to allow the photos to speak for themselves:
He's giving head to a beer bottle for chrissakes! And you know who Baby Chace reminds me of? My #1 fake gay: Jensen Ackles! It's no secret that Jensen and co-star Jared Padelecki can't keep their homoerotic chemistry in check either on-or-off set and the same goes for Chace and his former roommate and BFF Chuck Bass.
Plus, both Jensen and Chace did sensitive cowboy photoshoots in their past. Drool!
Also, no straight man who isn't Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone or Chris Kirkpatrick should have this many pictures with JC Chasez.
Case closed.

Jan 17, 2011

I Need A Drummer Boy (And Other Music Videos)

The other day I was explaining how I have a weakness for pop songs infused with marching band beats or any sort of drumline action. Then today Sarah posted an absurd music video on my wall that featured a drumline (or as we like to think of it, a tribute to Drumline) which got me in the mood for a marching music vid marathon. I have decided to share the highlights with you loyal readers in the hopes that maybe after this I won't be the only one with a pop-march fetish. (Note: I only included ones that allowed me to embed videos. That meant the sacrifice of such beauties like Trick Daddy's "Shut Up.")

The One That Started It All
This is the video Sarah showed me that inspired this post. It's fabulously idiotic. Needless to say, I'm obsessed with it from start to finish. Why are they nurses? Why are they in a fake Target? So many questions and frankly, I don't care if I ever get the answers.

The Classic
This song was so overplayed the year it came out I'm still a little tired of it. Though, I did totally forget about all the amusing costumes (racing jumpsuit!), Pharrell, and how fucking awkward her strut is which made this trip down memory lane pretty damn enjoyable.

The Wannabe Slutty One
I'm sure it's no surprise that my favorite of all these drum songs is a slutty one — even though the poor girl really sucks at being slutty. The fabulous outfits and hilarious dancing more than make up for it though.

The Really Slutty One
I just don't even have words for this one except these bitches put Alesha to shame.

The One I Totally Forgot About
I love me some Destiny's Child (I think that's kind of assumed). But unless I'm listening to my Get Slutty playlist I totally forget about "Lose My Breath." It just sort of gets lost in the muddle of "Say My Name," "Jumpin Jumpin," "Bug A Boo" and all that. I don't know how I ever forgot about this video though. The whole weird doppleganger battle is fucking awesome along with their (slightly confusing) outfits.

The One From That Movie I Never Saw
There is seriously nothing better than Outkast when you're stoned and this was song was my fucking summer chill jam a couple years ago. I had never seen the video before though and that is a shame because this shit is trippy as all hell. I feel high just watching it right now.

The One From That Movie I've Seen Multiple Times
I'm kind of obsessed with Stick It. Really, I just love anything about gymnastics or figure skating. Those are the only sports I give a shit about (unless you count the Dillon Panthers and East Dillon Lions). I'm just stoked that Missy Elliot made such a badass theme song for the greatest (and only) movie I ever dipped out of school early to see on opening day. (Though I did get invited to skip school with a bunch of my friends the day Ray came out.)

And while we're talking about music videos I just have to add in my new obsession. This one is also thanks to the forever inappropriate Sarah. Even if you didn't watch a single one of the videos I just posted, watch this one. It's my new anthem.

Jan 6, 2011

New Year, New Love

I've made a lot of mistakes in the past month. A lot. In fact, today I swore off drinking after last night's train wreck. (Though, we all know that won't last long.) But in these past few weeks I have made one of the greatest decisions of my life:

I started watching Parks and Recreation.

I started yesterday afternoon and I'm now almost finished with Season 2. But while the show is hilarious, the real reason I can't stop watching is my new boyfriend Chris Pratt.

I developed a minor crush on Chris way back in the day when he was on Everwood. He kept me watching that b.s. for far too long. It was kind of ridiculous. He also had the same affect on me and The O.C. Season 4. I watched almost half of that shit show because of his fine, bearded Brown student self.

But Parks and Rec has been such a game changer for me. It's so great to be able to enjoy watching Chris Pratt and enjoy the show I'm watching at the same time. Plus, he's 6'2", moved to Hawaii with his friends when he was 19 where he was then discovered at a Bubba Gubba Shrimp Company and his nickname is "Monkeyboy."

Can't you already see our embossed wedding invites?

Well, I guess first you'd have to see the divorce announcement for him and Anna Faris. A small price to pay for my happiness though. And frankly, I think it's worth it. I mean, he kind of is my ideal man. He's tall and...um, how do I say this...soft? Comfortable? Like a giant human pillow? Just like Jason Segel but two inches shorter? He also plays guitar and musicians love me. I don't give a crap about music so I don't really know why I only seem to date people who want to do that shit for a living. Mystery!

But to sum it up, we're a match made in heaven.

And yes, this picture happened:


Dec 21, 2010

Who's the Most Do-Able Divorced, Dumped or Dumpee Celebrity?

Early December is prime time for dumping (Trust me, I know.) The pre-holiday dump is great for many because then you don't have to buy that pesky significant other a gift and you're free to find the perfect skank to ring in the new year with.

I mean, what says "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" more than making out with someone you don't know in a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's hallway?

A lot of celebrities decided to take advantage of dumping season, which sucks for them but is great for me! While I love all my celebrity boyfriends, it kind of takes the fun out of it if they're actually in love with someone else. That's why I read the year-end wrap ups of celebrity break ups as my own personal Who To Stalk List. So here goes Sadie's potential boyfriends for 2011!

The Most Do-Able Divorcée, Dumped & Dumpee Celebrities

Kellan Lutz and AnnaLynne McCord
Even though he dated Drunkface for so long (which is major points in the neg), Kellan is just too studly to be tainted by that slag. And he does say he wants to date a normal girl now. I'm normal! He can date me! Only problem with that is apparently "normal" to Kellan means athletic and into football and shit. No thank you! He can teach me about tweeting things that no one really cares about and I can teach him about being lazy and we'll just skip that exercise shit.

Ryan Phillipe and Abbie Cornish
So there's a good chance that Ryan is a cheating bastard. What actually happened between him and Abbie is all mixed up with contradicting stories and rumors. But at the end of the day, Ryan is too eff-ing hot and I still love him. I'm blind-sided by that sexy scruff of his. I can't help it.

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens
Vanessa's brunette. I'm brunette. I can curl my hair if that's what he's into. C'mon Zac! Just let me know what I have to do to make you and those abs mine! I don't care if you're gay! I really don't! Let me be your beard!

Dexter Morgan and Debra Morgan
So honestly, this couple always kind of creeped me out because I could never stop thinking of them as brother and sister. But at the same time I loved it. It's all very confusing. They were so cute in a weird, incestuous way. I am pretty stoked that Michael C. Hall is single again, though. He was in my original boyfriend list so this is a pretty exciting moment for me. I wonder if he ever wears that kill shirt in bed...

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson
I am not a Scarlett Johansson fan. She's hot, but that's kind of it. Ryan Reynolds is hot and funny and smart and romantic. He needs someone who is more than just pretty because, frankly, after looking at ScarJo for a while she just bores me. Learn to shake it up a little, gurl! I think Ryan and I would be a much better match. I'm attractive enough and let's be honest — I'm awesome!. Plus, rumors have it that Scarlett wasn't even that nice to him. I'm the sweetest! So why don't you upgrade, Ryan? You won't regret it!

Colin Farrell and Alicija Bachleda-Curus
So Colin Farrell is definitely a fixer-upper. That facial hair and his penchant for fedoras would seriously need to go if we were to ever to be seen in public together, but he's still pretty sexy. It's that damn accent. Plus, now that he's a dad and shit hopefully he's douchebagey ways are a thing of the past. 

Gabriel Aubry and Halle Berry
Halle Berry is another one of those beautiful people that I just find absolutely dull and boring. Gabriel, on the other hand, is one of those beautiful people that I don't even care whether or not his personality is dumb or boring since he is so fucking fiiiiiiine. He's like Sawyer if instead of living on a mysterious death island he lived on an island off the coast of Grenyorny! He's the perfect balance of rich pretty boy and rugged sex appeal and he will be mine.

Stuart Townsend and Charlize Theron
Charlize Theron is the shit. Therefore, I assume anyone she would spend nine years of her life with is equally awesome. So congratulations, Stuart. I barely know you, but I would trust Charlize's tastes with my life. Arrested Development, being BFFs with Liv Tyler, her episode of Between Two Ferns...Girl knows what's up.

Dec 20, 2010

I Refuse To Be A Grinch

I’m sitting on a plane right now headed home for the first time since I visited over the summer and I’m having trouble reconciling how everything can be simultaneously so different, yet exactly the same.
Yesterday was the five-month anniversary of Thompson and I’s first date (Something I didn’t even realize until I was thousands of feet up in the air and miles away from him). I remember that night so well since — while I may be no stranger to the dating scene — it’s a rare occasion when I actually get treated to a real date.
I remember how excited I was to go over to his apartment when I got off work that night. I had gotten all cuted-up and wore one of my favorite dresses, which will now always remind me of that date. (Unfortunately, it will also forever be known as The Dress I Got Roofied In.) I spent my entire shift babbling to the waiters about how cute this guy was and how sweet it was that he wanted to cook for me when I was leaving town two days later for nearly a month.
I was so elated that I even texted my best friend on her vacation to tell her the exciting news. I wrote something to the extent of: “A boy I met at a party on Saturday is cooking me dinner tonight after work! If my drunken memory serves me correct, he’s really cute! I just wish I wasn’t going to Urbana in a couple days.”
Totally harmless, normal text to send to a friend, right?
Except one thing: I accidentally sent it to him.
I, of course, felt like I was going to vomit and thought I had completely embarrassed myself and ruined any chance of me not seeming like an overly-eager, desperate slag.
He was sweet, though and while he poked a little fun at me, he didn’t rub it in my face.
The rest of the date went much better. He had lit candles, we drank wine on the roof, he cooked me curry and we curled up on his couch and watched my favorite TV shows on his computer.
It’s hard to imagine that when I went over there last night we could do almost all the same things, but have it be so completely different. He once again cooked me dinner — this time we enjoyed beer instead of wine — and we curled up on the couch and watched one of my favorite shows which he had just gotten me for Christmas.
Except this time, the date wasn’t filled with the hopeful, happy anticipation you get at the beginning of the new relationship, but with the bittersweet resignation that comes at the end.
After breaking up Tuesday, getting back together on Wednesday, then breaking up again on Friday, it had been rough week for us, to say the least. Sunday was our final goodbye before I headed home and to New Zealand.
Now, here I am again on a plane to Illinois for a couple weeks, wanting to text him to make sure he knows that I’m still thinking about him and won’t forget him while I’m gone. But this time my desire to text him isn’t hampered by the fear of being too clingy, but by the fear of holding on to something that’s over.
Frankly, both scenarios suck.
This is my second break up in a year and I just can’t believe I’m going to be spending another Christmas/New Years alone as a drippy-doodah eating ice cream, indulging in cheap wine and watching empowering chick flicks (already checked The First Wives Club off the list. Waiting to Exhale is next!).
Then again, while I was pretty devastated last winter after breaking up with my boyfriend of three years and losing my good friend Will, I still managed to have a relatively good — albeit wasted — time and I refuse to ring in 2011 all Bridget Jones style. (Unless that means Colin Firth hitting on me in an adorably hideous reindeer sweater. I wouldn’t mind ending my year on a note like that.)
So while I might not be the most holly-jolly Christmas spirit this season, I will not let this break up ruin the most wonderful time of the year. Especially over a guy who has never even seen The Grinch! Once I learned that, I realized we never really had any chance of a future anyways.
That's not to say that I didn't and still don't care about him a lot. We were just completely incompatible. See?
When he was happy, I was passed out. When I was happy, he was making sad diva faces. It was like The Lake House — we were just never in the same place at the same time.
But there is one silver lining when comparing our last date to our first. While I may have gotten a pretty great relationship out of our first date, I got a Snuggie out of our last! And c’mon. Be honest, which would you really rather have?
Which will not only keep your body warm at night, but also your arms?!? Which will not misplace the remote, but actually help you keep track of it since you can just keep it in the handy pocket along with all your hard candies and chapstick?!?
Find me a boyfriend that can do all that, and I think you’ll have found me a husband.
So get ready readers, for the newly-single Sadie’s upcoming Divorced/Dumped Celebrity Dating List. Because now that they’re single and I’m single, I think 2011 is going to be our year to mingle! (That’s right, Zac Efron. I’m talking ‘bout you.)
Plus, I’m just about to have a lot of free time on my hands and I need something to do. Bitch is the new black, and blog is the new boyfriend.

Nov 24, 2010

Mustache Baby!

If this isn't the greatest music video you've ever seen —besides "Toxic," obviously— then I will be shocked.

(And send me the link to whatever's better asap.)