May 31, 2009

Say Goodbye to These!

So I'm having my breast reduction surgery tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm going to post some before and after shots. But anyways, it's scary and exciting and I can't wait for a week or two of nonstop TV and 90s movies with my fam, bf, and friends (that means you, Sarah). So let's all just say goodbye one last time to Mary-Kate and Ashley. They've had a good run.

May 25, 2009

Gossip Girl Gone Eh

I'm slightly impressed with B's singing voice. I don't really like the song at all but she doesn't make me want to curl up and die which is good because Blair and Chuck are the only reason I am (or anyone should be) watching Gossip Girl. I'm intrigued to hear what her electric pop/Fergie inspired album is because this song and her cameo really isn't doing anything special for me but I'm going to try and keep an open mind. I'm still waiting on Nicole Richie's album which she promised me yeaaaars ago and her TV version of The Truth About Diamonds so even if Leighton does come out with an album that blows at least I'll know and she won't keep me hanging like my girl Nicky Rich.

May 23, 2009


I want do some Poof Point shit just so that I can relive my childhood with this glorious, glorious doll. Her name is Rebecca Rubin and she is a Russian-Jewish immigrant living in the LES in 1914. I am so glad they put so much effort into creating a good, relatable, Jewish American Girl. This is exactly what I wanted when I was younger. Hell, maybe I'd be a better Jew now if I'd had her back then. She is my new favorite. Forget Addy and Kirsten and Josefina. I am about to go out and buy Rebecca right now and save her for my future daughter. And maybe play with her while I wait.

May 21, 2009


So I loved Allison from this cycle of ANTM. I did. And yes, OK, I watched America's Next Top Model. Online. I went out of my way to watch it on Supernovatube every Thursday after my Cyberspace class and before Cyborg. It was just mindless and if I fell asleep in the middle of it, it didn't matter. But anyways, I found her flickr account today and I don't know why, but I really enjoy it. She is defnitely living up to her old title of Creepy-Chan and I wish she'd shown off her creep side a little more on the show (you all know how much I love a good creep) but this flickr totally makes up for it. Here are some of my faves:

I love this last one mainly because it's called Oromanov and just makes me want to watch Anastasia.

Spot the Douche

May 20, 2009

My Life: The Subscription

Google Reader is my new best friend. It enables me to have all my blogs, nicely categorized, in one easy to access location. I will never be behind on blogs again! I shall be the world's smartest girl for only minutes a day! Internet smart at least. Fuck book/street smart--except the TV show. That shit was awesome. But yeah, if you don't already use Google Reader, do it. It's awesome. And has allowed me to keep in touch with blogs I never would have remembered to check. Such beautiful gems as these:
I'd really recommend looking back through cake wrecks to the one that was supposed to be a congratulations on fatherhood. It truly is a "word journey."

May 11, 2009

I Give it an 8.3

So I've been on this Weekend at Bernie's kick for a while now and I kind of feel like the dude who posted this ad for Telepathic Advertising. I too am now realizing that TV and media are following my thoughts and desires. First Flight of the Conchords, then Chuck, and now Sit Down, Shut Up. Weekend at Bernie's is everywhere. I even watched it over the weekend as a pick-me-up. It worked wonderfully and I even realized another reason I love this movie so much. Bernie Lomax is the ultimate essence of nonchalance. That man keeps such a straight face the entire time he plays dead. He's like my idol. And probably my halloween costume next year. Oh, and I think I know why Bret brought up WAB2. He was clearly in this parody film, Weekend at Fidel's. I dare you to tell me it's not him. This is like Figwit all over again.

May 5, 2009

No Offense Sarah

So I was catching up on my friends and noticed some guy had been commenting. I'm not sure if he's her friend, or family, or "short term lover" (more on that in a moment), but of course I staked him out. It was...interesting. Here are my favorite parts:

"I go to and type in my mood and location. It's amazing what comes up. Sadly, it seems that women blog more in Chicago than guys do, so if I type chicago horny or logan square hungry into the blog search, it'll be 70% gals to 30% guys. Guys need to write more, and about more than sports." [emphasis his]
Is it really even necessary to explain? For one, if you're in a hungry mood why do you want to read blogs about being hungry or food? Just eat. This isn't the matrix and you aren't chiprunner. Eat food. And then why do you want to read blogs about horny dudes? Do you know how I scat this guy based on this sentence? Gay.

"I let her know something important: a woman can only be a princess once. Once she loses that luster, it's gone. My mind can convert a princess to a frogette in 3 seconds. Not over a vulgar mouth (princesses swear), not over her clothes or her makeup, and surely not over something like sex or promiscuity. Princesses lose their shine when they act like bitches."
I just love the fact that he said "Princesses lose their shine" and also that a lot of his writing reminds me of my good friend Justin. Part of me is just pretending this blog is his.

"When there is only one store within 100 miles of your house, you're trapped with their prices and quality. When there are 10 stores, you can squeeze the fruit, compare prices, and make a choice as to where to buy from."
He's talking about sleeping around. Isn't he such "a natural gentlemen"?

I also don't even want to think about the multiple uses of the term "short term lover" or the reference to "passionate lovemaking." I remember one time when I guy told me he "wanted to make love to me." We were drunk and I ran laughing into the bathroom where my friends were smoking cigarettes to tell them the story. Next thing I remember was waking up the next morning awkwardly beside him and still a virgin (thank god).

His next post starts off with a great description of himself which includes a very nice namedrop of French Connection (he might as well have said American Eagle or Pac Sun, namedropping jeans is bad enough). He then continues on with this:
"My hair is crazy long at the moment, down to my chin, and it had a great unkempt look to it. When I picked up a carton of cigarettes at the local gas station, my usual late-night gal said "Your hair looks like Johnny Depp's." I'll take a compliment, even from a 40-something gas station worker. I smiled and it never left my face all night."
I feel like I'm reading young adult fiction, the JPP story. But only if Johnny Depp had been replaced with Wolverine or Nicholas Cage.

He then meets a girl at a bar who tells him she has too much college debt. He blogs how, "I offer my condolensces, and let her know it's a common problem."
Really dude? Because I don't think she knew that before and I'm so impressed that you knew that and are sharing this information on the interweb. I'm sorry. It's been a long day and I'm cranky. Just one more and then I'll stop being a bitch.

He goes on to reference her "Target fashionable" outfit (a bit redundant I believe. Target implies the utmost fashion chic) and how he helps an "older black gentleman" outside White Castle while this girl watches--but he didn't know she could see. He was just being kind. And had to blog about it and how impressed she was with his kindness. They end up not doing the deed and the post ends with this:
"She's sexy, has a great face that is almost worthy of receiving my special gift after a night of hard and soft fucking (almost worthy), and she's definitely passionate and attentive.

We'll see. Today I'm off to pick up a DVD or two for the evening, and a nice bottle of wine to share with just myself."

What is this "special gift?" Because it really just sounds like bukake to me and for some reason I'd respect that a lot more than just normal ejaculation.

His labels also put mine to shame. Blog labels really tell something about the writer and what are recurring topics for them. Here are the ones for the last post:
great kisser, imperfect smile, invitation to fuck, kissing like teenagers, soft hands
That really just sums up the whole blog pretty well. Loves it. Now I need to get my cranky ass in bed. I have my last day at TONY tomorrow so I need to be wide awake before I go there so that when I fall asleep googling shit like "Liev Schreiber fansites" and "Wilmer Valderama" I won't completely pass out on my desk.