In between classes and obsessively checking my e-mail to hear back from job/intern opportunities I do what every other college student does (or maybe just Sarah and Willie). I read blogs. And lots of them. Today, Boing Boing led me to this website The Toaster Project. Apparently this guy is trying to make a toaster from scratch, real scratch, mining the shit and all. While reading his account I came across this line:
'Are toasters worth the inhuman scale on which they're produced?'
I'm was taken aback. Shocked. Offended, even. Have bagels become so forgettable, so uneccessary, that one of the keys to their deliciousness' very existance has come into question?!? What an outrage, an absolute outrage. Then I realized-that guy was right. Fuck the toaster. It isn't worth it. He needs to just give up on that waste of space and make a full on toaster oven from scratch! That way once he's done he can have a real celebration with bagels, pizza bagels, fish sticks, Cosco dinosaur chicken nuggets,...it's a magic box, it really is.
And normally I hate remakes of childhood favorites, but the more I think about it, the cooler I'd be with a Brave Little Toaster one where he's a toaster oven instead. Then he could carry and protect little smaller appliances in his wonderful carrying pouch, like an electric kangaroo!
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You know, bagels are better untoasted. This may come as a surprise to you, and you'll probably argue with me, but it's the truth. Stale bagels, sure, toast the fuck out of them, but good, fresh bagels are better just like that: fresh. I don't know how bagels are in Illinois, because I always thought they were a Northeastern thing, but I also know Chicago is the exception to a lot of generalizations. But, next time you have a bagel, don't toast it. Just throw some cream cheese and salmon on that bitch and you won't be disappointed.
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