Mar 9, 2009

The List

Some people make lists of Christmas presents (Sarah), others make lists with their friends of people they made out with and post it on facebook with everyone included tagged (Jasper). I make lists of short, trashy, and gay guys aka the loves of my life. So here we go. Sadie's Celeb Crush Breakdown. March 2009.

Let's start with my first celeb obsession. David Boreanaz, more commonly known as Angel. I think this is where most of my fetish started.
I mean, these pictures say it all. This is where I got my fucked up standards. Do you see that asshole brooding in the first pic? (I would have put one of him going vamp, but I'd rather look at him in a see through shirt than with an effed up face) Do you see the Tool Academy oozing off him in the second? And the flames of the third? There are two things wrong with him though. Number one, the height. Boy is taaaall. For me, at least. But more importantly, he did this:
It's just too creepy. There is only one creep allowed in the relationship and that is me. Plus, it's like he's channeling Ethan Hawk as opposed to his usual sexy Nick Lachey thing. In the end, let's see how he fared:
Height: 6'1" Trashy: 6/10 Gay: 3/10

Next up, Paul Rudd.
Paul only needs one picture. Look at that scruff! That pose! Those eyes staring into my soul, begging me to take off my clothes or paint his nails. We're so in love.
Height: 5' 9" Trashy: 0/10 Gay: 4/10

Another sexy comedian who stole my heart: James Roday.
Boy combines all my favorite things: Psychics, lying, hotness, trashiness, gayness, and Model Behavior girl plus Luck of the Irish leprechaun PLUS Budd PLUS amazing aliases (Gus "T.T." Showbiz and Shawn SpenStar) Though he did apparently look like this once:
But did I mention he's hispanic? Totally makes up for the over-trash.
Height: 5'10 1/2" Trashy: 7 (Mainly because when he's not acting he has a major permascowl) Gay: 8 (But mainly bromance gay with Gus)

Let's see if you can guess my next beau by our future plans together:
First, I blow him. Then, I poke him.

If you guessed any character from Arrested Development I'd accept it, but if you guessed Jason Batemen you'd get a free cup of GoBias coffee!
Marry me!
God, I am just having a love affair with him (though, I could go for that ice cream sandwich). I'm sorry about all the Arrested jokes. I'll just move on.
Height: 6' Trashy: 0/10 Gay: 3/10

And now for something waaaaay gayer! Hugh Jackman, ladies and gentlemen!
If this isn't one of the trashiest, gayest things you've ever seen then send me what is. The best part about Hugh is you get the trash, you get the gay, and you get the sexy, sexy man.
It's hard to stare at that for too long. He's almost dangerously hot.
Height: 6'2 1/2" Trashy: 4/10 Gay: 7/10

I gotta speed this up though, since I'm on the phone with my boyfriend. He's actually rating them along with me and he is always spot on.

I know it's kind of weird, but I am so attracted to Charlie Kelly/Charlie Day. Like seriously, he might be my top celebrity I would marry. No, he is. Ok, I said it. Deal with it.
Height: 6'1" (or so he claims. I refuse to believe this) Trashy: 7/10 Gay: 9/10

BJ Novak
Anyone who can create the character of Ryan and start the fire will always have a place in my heart
Height: 5' 81/2" Trashy: 7/10 Gay: 2/10

You all knew it was coming....Chuck Bass
No commentary necessary.
Height: 5' 9 1/2" Trashy: 9/10 Gay: 10/10

Michael C. Hall
Height: 5'10 1/2 Trashy: 5 Gay: 4/10

Jensen Ackles aka Hot Dean from Supernatural
Jensen is known as the better half of Wincest, little did we know that Jensen has been flaming a loong time before he ever went on the ghost hunt.
Height: 6' 1" Trashy: 10/10 Gay: 9/10

Zachary Quinto
Most people know him as Sylar. I know him as this:
Height: 6'1" Trashy: 7/10 Gay: 8/10

And of course, the boys from Veronica Mars:
Beav (And yes, I know that this is my third serial killer. I have issues, Ok)
Height: 5' 8 1/2" Trashy: 5/10 Gay: 7/10
Height: 6'1" Trashy: 10/10 Gay: 0/10
Height: 6' Trashy: 7/10 Gay: 10/10

I'm sure none of that was entertaining. But I'll at least leave you with this:


  1. I can't believe this. I soooo disagree. Mainly I think everyone is gayer than you rated them. But then again, I used to tell people that my boyfriend was gay. I'm wondering now how you'd rate Charlie.

    Here's my take:
    Height: 5'6"
    Trashiness: 7/10
    Gayness: 8/10

    He's your dream man, obvs.

  2. I had a gay boyfriend once too. You got Chaz spot on except he's 5'8"

  3. Why am I friends with your sister instead of you? We have the most similar taste in men, particularly Logan Echolls. Oh yeah, your sister reads your blog. Right now we are sitting next to each other reading it. And holding hands.