Do you ever wake up and not only not understand what happened last night but also how it happened? Because this is one of those days.
Last night my roommmate and I had to work a fashion party for our internship. We were banished to the models room to be dressers. Pretty much we just took their clothes and handed them clothes. It was hell...at first. Everyone was so serious and intense about everything and Kelly and I really didn't give a fuck passed not sending naked girls into the party. Then after the first change was done the stylist had a cocktail waitress bring us all a glass of wine. Kelly and I sipped on these slowly during the time lapse between changes. Then after second change the waitress left a bottle on the table. We had three, maaaybe four more glasses of wine for the rest of our time upstairs. At one point during this our boss (who was supposed to be a dresser as well but cannot stand fashion so got out of the job due to 'allergies') came up. We could not stop giggling, and she offered us a drink of water (which we believe to have been vodka) but she couldn't tell we were drunk at all, just two girls having a giggle attack. Passed that test.
So then the fashion show ends and we find our boss. All the fashion interns had done our cleanup job and wanted none of our help. We were nubes so now that there wasn't a time crunch they would rather do it themselves. Most of those interns were megabitches who would do those sly put downs right to your face ("I really appreciate you guys trying to hang these clothes to the best of your ability"). Since they're doing our job we go and find our boss who says the bar is still open and to hang around for about fifteen minutes, get a 'soda', or whatnot. Kelly and I get another glass of wine. This is when we lose it.
Our boss comes over again and cheers us, she learns of our drunkeness, it's all good. We think she left the party after that, but maybe she just left us. We don't see any of our other bosses and the place is packed (Kelly Kupowski was there). Then the hairdresser (who is apparently not gay) sticks his tongue down Kelly's throat knowing how young she is. Majorly creepy. After that she just needed to get out of there. On the walk to the subway we realize that we are completely and utterly smashed. It was not even eleven yet. Neither of us really remember the ride home or even transfering trains. All I remember was being so amazed at our state doing the drunken self-proclamation "I'M SOO DRUNKKKK" on the train while people judge mercilessly, which they had a right to.
We then burst into our friends apartment and Kelly knocks three chairs off the wall first thing. We don't really know what happened there either. I remember our friends told us they'd never seen us that drunk before and last year I drank an entire bottle of wine and then started chugging tequila. But no, five glasses of wine and Kelly and I are roll-around-on-the-floor-blackout drunk. Exhibit A.
We somehow make it to our apartment and put on Arrested. We try to get our friend to come and make us mac and cheese through texts like "we xabt move." We then passed out before midnight. Kelly and I both woke up at seven (her in all of my clothes, with the shirt on backwards) and still a little drunk. We have no idea how that happened off of five glasses of wine. Maybe we're just so used to Two Buck Chuck that the good stuff took us off guard. Now we're confused, embarrased, and a little bit worried. But on the plus side, we have no hangovers.