Mustache Baby!

If this isn't the greatest music video you've ever seen —besides "Toxic," obviously— then I will be shocked.

(And send me the link to whatever's better asap.)

Movin' Like Bernie

It's officially Halloween weekend. That means slutty costumes, excessive drinking, and goddamn dancing. But if you feel lost in the sea of Snookis and skanky renditions of comic book characters, I found the way you can help make yourself stand out from the crowd. When the music is pumpin', instead of grinding and booty shaking like everybody else, just bust out this sweet new dance (and yes, it is based off of me and Rachel Green's all-time favorite movie Weekend at Bernie's).

If you're in the NYC area this weekend I'm sure you'll see me and Thompson breakin' it down Bernie Lomax style. We're super sexy like that.

The Greatest Gift

I'm back!

After a two-plus month hiatus your favorite blogger has returned. But since it's 11 in the morning right now and I have to go to class today I don't have time to wow you all with my amazing wit and talent. But, I have something even better.

You're probably thinking, "Better than you? How can that be possible?"

Well, the answer is simple: Mark Fucking Turns.

In my last post about the great MT, I said that my Kater got the opportunity to interview Mark and I would post the video as soon as I could. Well, that day is finally here. So watch, wonder, and you're welcome.


Mark Turns from ktmccall on Vimeo.

Countdown to Awesome

I don't think it's any secret that I like dressing up. That's why no one reading this should be surprised that even though it's over two months away, I'm already planning my Halloween costumes (and yes, that is plural).

If I had things my way, I would dress in flamboyant, fabulous costumes with glitter eyeliner and poofed wigs everyday. I am working on building up the balls to dress my heart out on days besides Halloween and my birthday, but it's slow going. The monetary cushion needed to support such a garish habit is also a little hard to build up when I keep blowing it on margaritas at El Moderno and eggs benedict. Until I get rich or make it to the Emerald City where the Wizard will exclaim, "Sadie! You had the courage to dress awesome all along," Halloween is all I got.

I've spent my past few nights at Hachi since I got back from vacation pondering the big H issue and here are the top contenders I've come up with (if you steal any of these ideas without permission from me, I will pee on your floor):

Adam Lambert

Heavy black eyeliner, emo hair, leather, and bedazzlement--what about this doesn't scream my name? I mean, my life is the Glam Nation tour!

Johnny Weir

Johnny is one of my main boyfriends and a slight idol of mine. The only issue with Weir is that I can't decide if I would go as street Johnny Weir with tons of fur and mini metallic gloves (my current desktop background) or Poker Face Johnny with face paint and a mirrored leotard (one of my former desktop backgrounds). If you need a small taste of me as street Johnny, here's some shots of me channeling him in Berlin:

Eloise

I fucking love Eloise at the Plaza. My mom used to hide the book from Emi and I because it's all we ever wanted her to read us. Now, all I want is a Kleenex box as a hat and a little pug to pay homage to my rambunctious heroine.

Candyland

This is more of a group thing. But I totally call dibs on either Princess Lolly or Lord Licorice.

Fraggle

This is pretty much the same as Candyland where I would want a group, but I can't decide which one I would go as. There's Red, Wembley, Gobo, Boober, and so many more! I don't know if I could bring myself to choose.

Bernie Lomax

Do I really even need to explain this one? Bernie's the best, I'm the best. It just makes sense.

Stefon's Ideas

If you haven't seen the SNL Stefon clips then just get out of my life until you watch them and cry because you were laughing so hard. Plus, just think of the skits as him listing amazing Halloween costume ideas. There's DJ Baby Bok Choy, puppets in disguise, human fire hydrants, and of course, Gay Liotta.

Paula Abdul and Scat Cat

I don't know if y'all know about my love for "Opposites Attract." I made it my goal in my animation class last year to watch this cinematic masterpiece in class (and I totally succeeded). All I need to do is find someone tall and lanky to be my partner in crime (cat preferred, but I will accept human applicants).

I still have months until Halloween but I'm already stressed in trying to narrow down this list. I know you guys are really invested in my Halloween costume decisions so I'll keep you updated.

So You Think You Know SYTYCD?

Summer's here and that means one of my favorite shows (which does happen to be a reality show) is back on the air and surprisingly, the word "Jersey" is no where in the title. So You Think You Can Dance is another one of the talent competitions that was born out of the success of American Idol and while I have on-and-off always watched Idol, I kind of hate it. I just loathe the product placement and pretty much everything the judges say. The entire show is just a joke that seems stuck in time. No matter what they do to try and “freshen it up,” Idol just seems stale.

I'm always surprised to remember that SYTYCD springs from the same minds that created Idol when the reason I love the show so much is that it's actually the anti-Idol. The show is void of product placement and branding. They drink their water out of normal brand-free cups and there are no cheesy car commercials (which are tiresome even when I fast-forward over them). Plus, SYTYCD has such a modern feel. From the use of contemporary music (Boy, do they love Gaga) to slang (sometimes I just want to go all Regina George on Lil C and snap “Stop trying to make ‘buck’ happen! It’s not going to happen”) to dealing with real life issues like war, sickness, death, and racism, SYTYCD is firmly grounded in contemporary society.

Compared to Idol, which seems so self-indulgent and even vain, SYTYCD has an integrity that I haven't seen on any other reality show. The audition episodes aren't there to showcase and mock the delusional. Even when they show contestants who are, how shall we say this as gracefully as Nigel Lithgow, “not up to par” with the show's standards, they are treated with respect and given more constructive criticism than harsh and insulting metaphors. And even SYTYCD's versions of Simon and Paula (aka Nigel and Mary Murphy) are well-rounded and not just their to be cranky and crazy respectively. Though Mary is known for her high-pitched "hot tamale train" screams, even she can actually give informed critiques, unlike Paula who prefers to get drunk and just babble on until someone stops her.

One of the reasons the SYTYCD judges completely out-do Idol’s is that they all actually have a reason to be there! They're all dancers or choreographers and have been on the other side of the ordeal. They empathize with the contestants in a way people like Ellen DeGeneres just can’t understand. Plus, since they are all dancers themselves they actually know what they’re talking about (what an idea!). Since the show has such high standards for both their contestants and their judges, the show also has a level of professionalism and respectability that is incomparable to any other reality show. 

It also helps that the point of SYTYCD isn’t really about gaining fame or mainstream success. Instead, contestants flock to the auditions to show off what they can do in hopes that the show will help them do more. SYTYCD is about testing your limits, learning and experiencing all kinds of dance that one otherwise might never have gotten the chance to do. Plus, unlike most of the contestants on Idol, the contestants on SYTYCD have to display their own personally artistry. (I say most for a reason because while I don't count just taking a rap song and performing it as an acoustic ballad as artistry, there have been exceptions. The most recent being my glamor diva, Adam Lambert.) Each SYTYCD contestant not only has to be an incredible dancer, but also has to be able to create their own breathtaking solos. Eliminations on SYTYCD rest more on the dancers solos while they “dance for their life” than the choreographed routines. This puts more responsibility on the dancer's own creativity and connection to dance, which is how a competition like this should be run.

I'm sorry if I sound preachy and am rambling. I want all you skeptics out there to give this show a chance. I've recently turned Sarah onto it, but I'm shooting for the whole world! It’s truly an amazing experience to watch these dancers grow each week and put everything they got on the stage night after night.  Unlike other performance competitions, SYTYCD isn’t about trying to find the most talented contestant as much as it is about creating the most well-rounded contestant in an experiment that benefits all involved, from those who make it to the finals to those cut after the first round of choreography.

Plus, have I mentioned the surplus of hotties that usually sprinkle the SYTYCD cast? My heart still swells for Season 4 winner Joshua more than any other. I mean, look at how cute he is (and talented, but that comes second).

And did you also not just fall a little bit in love with Katee too? I can’t decide if I want to be her friend or just be her! This show has given me almost as many girl crushes as it has boy crushes. But no SYTYCD girl do I love more than the host Cat Deeley. She is the only Brit than can pull off hosting an American show without coming off as annoying. She’s charming and you can tell she actually cares about the contestants and isn’t just putting on a fake front (cough Ryan Seacrest cough). Plus, she wears some ridonkulous clothes! It's rare that I see someone else who loves glitter and sequins as much as me.

Why yes, that is a sequined tiger on her dress! Truly a girl after my own heart.

But more importantly than the fact that it’s full of top-grade hotties, SYTYCD just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's insanely inspirational by the way it features and embraces dancers who have often been told dancing just wasn't in the cards for them. I have seen incredible performances from dancers who would traditionally be considered too tall, too short, or too big to perform professionally along with dancers who are blind, deaf, and physically handicapped. I mean, it's been four seasons since we first saw Bryan Graynor and there he was last night performing again. For those of you not familiar with SYTYCD, Bryan suffers from scoliosis and auditioned in season three. Everyone was so moved by his audition that he was asked to perform at the finale.

It also moves me (an embarrassing amount, I might add) just to watch these people explore the potential of the human body. This show gives me more tears and chills than the Grey’s Anatomy season finale! These people truly love what they do and put everything out there for us to see. I could never be that brave (or that flexible). What these dancers are able to do and express with nothing more than their own bodies and some music constantly amazes me, especially that they do so on a basic cable reality show. SYTYCD brings something to mainstream America that isn't an easy sell. Just in the past day, my roommates (yes, it's plural now) kept chuckling and mocking the show as they caught snippets. A lot of people can't get over the fact that its a reality show and others just cant get over what they see as the "silly" content. And you know what I say to these people? You can have your opinions and are free to express them--just not while I'm watching my goddamn show. 

I'm very protective of SYTYCD, even more so than Lost, in fact, and I'll argue to the death about how it's the greatest thing to happen to reality tv ever and a great addition to tv in general as well. But if you ever try to mock the show while I'm watching it and distract me from the awesomeness, I will kill you. So just wait until Mary gives her last squeal to begin your hating and then I will school you on SYTYCD and how wrong you are.

New Boyfriend: David Tennant

I've been rabidly watching Doctor Who for the past month, which means I've also been rabidly falling in love with David Tennant. How has someone so cute and charming been off my radar for the past 20 years? Oh, and did I mention fucking awesome? Because he is fucking awesome.

On his "interactive" website (by that they just mean there are links. England might be 6 hours ahead, but I guess this site thinks they're about 20 years behind) under "Shop" they sell goddamn Goonies T-shirts so that you can "Get David's Look." (Heart!)

He also probably has the best Google Image search of all of my many boyfriends.

Exhibit A:

Now that's the way I like it! Well dressed, sassy, and g-a-y! I want to slobber all over him and that suit.

And then I run into a picture like this...

Not so sexy, but love him none the less.

I don't really know what's going on here and frankly, I don't really want to. I like to imagine he's not-so-slyly pointing at someone in the front row of the audience and mocking them. You really never know with him, because in addition to being totally adorbs, he's also hilarious.

I mean, COME ON! (Said in appropriate Gob Bluth tone).

If you didn't think this guy was the full package, that picture just proved it. If I played fucking Doctor Who I'd make sure all my business cards said Rev. Sadie Gennis, PhD and I'd say stuff like his shirt all the freaking time.

And have I mentioned how good my classic "(insert celebrity name) gay" search was for him?

True. Fucking. Love.

Little Dick Dances

My last post about The Cheetah Girls reminded my that one of my boyfriends, Ryan Hansen/Dick Cassablancas, was in it as a member of the boy band Boys N Motion named J.J.J. (the third J is silent).

This was the first time I fell in love with Ryan and it's no wonder why. He had some mad skills on the dance floor. Let's just watch Ryan Hansen dance for a bit.

Childish Gambino: Geek Your Whole Face Out

Man, I'm just all about funny rappers lately. First Mark Turns, now Childish Gambino. Luckily, Don Glover actually knows he's hilarious and uses it.

And if you're sitting there thinking "Don Glover...why do I know that name?" it's probably because you know him from the NBC show Community or more likely, you know him as my #1 boyfriend.

We met last fall at one of his comedy shows in Greenpoint. So far, that's as far as our relationship has gone. But my powers of Creep and own personal awesomeness will one day get me a date, if not at least a Neil Patrick Harris point pic.

Aren't we such a gorgeous couple?

As part of my full-on love-stalk, I figured I should probably check out his music. I downloaded all of his shit a couple days ago and I'm kind of obsessed now. It's the perfect walking around NYC music, as well as a great bus ride soundtrack (a feature which I'm taking advantage of I type--Go Hanover, NH!)

He raps over some really great songs (Yeasayer's "Sunrise" anyone?) and has all the hilarious-stupid lyrics that I love: "Yes, my dick will make that hoe tell, like a bellboy" and my favorite, "Even if she's so angel that she's on Bones."

Plus, there's just that hint of gay that I love in a boy.

I mean, look at that sass! We're meant to be. 

Sometimes when he's rapping it kind of sounds like he has a monster head cold, but I kind of love it. It just emphasizes his geekiness, which I find absolutely adorable. I want to bring him orange juice and lozenges then curl up with TV. It'd be a perfect day.

I'm such a creep. If I ever did meet him again he'd probably get the major heebs and look at me just like this:

"Oh, you're that girl who tweeted that the last time we met was

the story of how you're going to tell your children 

that you met their dad...Hi, again...."

Until then, I'll just have to satisfy myself with his music. He has a couple dozen songs, so I'll just leave you with my picks:

Bitch Look At Me Now (Two Weeks)

 

Grind

Turd in the Over (Diplomat's Son)

I Can Hear Your Feet (Sunrise)

New Prince (Crown on the Ground)

I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer)

Hollerin feat. Dean

Extraordinary

Sunshine feat. Dean

Hawk Jones feat. Dree Drei

New York Pity

My Girls (My Girls)

Mark Turns: Truly & Always a Joy

Meet Mark Turns. Back home in Urbana, Turns is somewhat of a celebrity. He is a poet and an artist. And totally ridiculous. You put on some MT at a party and that shit gets bumpin! Or at least, my friends and I jam out and everyone else looks around in confusion.

There’s no point in reviewing just one Mark Turns album. In fact, it’s almost irrelevant to single out any one song of his. That’s because there is not one song on any of his dozens of albums that is not based off the same beat and cadence as all the rest. Normally, this would cause Mark Turns’ collected work to become boring and repetitive. But on the contrary, listening to Turns’ songs is one of the most engaging and stimulating musical experiences I’ve had since I tried to learn the lyrics of the rap in LFO's "West Side Story" by ear.

Turns is able to stave off redundancy by having the most absolutely asinine lyrics I have ever heard (and my summer jam was “Patron Tequila” by the Paradiso Girls). The lyrics are so absurd that listening to a Mark Turns song is a constant surprise. Every line is like Christmas morning. Or better yet, every line is like waking up Christmas morning and seeing a high-speed car chase on TV as Andy Dick tries to outrun the NYPD in an old Pinto on half a tank of gas. You know it’s not going to end well, but you’re on the edge of your seat in disbelief to know what happens next. Or in Turns’ case, hear what happens next.

There’s a level of stupidity that’s acceptable in society (think T-Pain or Nelly). Then there’s the level that is almost too painful to hear (LMFAO anyone?). But then--then there’s the level that has sunk so low on the stupidity charts it is has somehow managed to find itself now at the top, surrounded by its friends and comrades “Just A Friend” and pretty much anything Lil Wayne has ever put out. Mark Turns is the Weekend at Bernie’s of music: so stupid and unbelievable that one can’t help but love it. The only difference between the two is that Bernie’s had no illusions as to what it was. Mark Turns, on the other hand, takes himself very seriously as a poet and artist. It's fantastic!

My Bffer Katie recently had the opportunity to interview Mr. Turns' (I'll be linking to the video as soon as it's up). The thing I was most thrilled/shocked to learn was that Mark Turns is not the only person who thinks of Mark Turns is a genius. Apparently, he has someone else do his "beat(s)." (Seriously? It's one beat. Just over and over again. When it does change, it just sounds like premade songs on a fucking electric keyboard. How do two people out in the world think that's a good idea?). He also has someone else in charge of his website: www.lilgoat.com (Goat is not--as I had guessed--his middle name, unfortunately. It is in fact, his "power animal." Fact). Katie also spoke to someone else that helps to "promote" Turns, who started the conversation off with "The first time you heard Mark, didn't he just blow you away?"

What are these people on?!?! Mark Turns blew me away the same way Jersey Shore did. I guess I need to try and explain to you his utter ridiculousness for a second so you can understand my awe.

Let's take, for example, Turns’ other, none musical, productions. He has three audio tributes to the film Bullitt, along with seventeen poetry tributes. He's also done similar things for Starsky and Hutch and Vanishing Point. It can be hard to read too many of these tributes at a time (especially as I’ve never seen any of those films), but taken in small doses all prove to be ample ways to waste time and get a laugh. On the incredible lilgoat.com, he has many additional other topics under which he posts his poetry and musings from the past couple decades. Some of these include the Religion Corner:

“Wisdom, use anything you want to be gentle or mild/softener.. the rinse-cycle has told and will tell/the truth that you must accept and deal with trial,/one way or the other to be the rules..."

No Oppression/Gossip:

“Go sit down in rainbows wonder when inside, you use the fact of being the same race as an undercover reason to try and make it work”

And of course Love, Blues, etc:

“Don't get me wrong! I think that you are a drop-dead, beautiful woman with a loving-heart that doesn't come any better.../I can feel your warmth but/before you're any of that,/you're a human-being first”

Then, there's also this. His "Expression of Monday."
Turns has also put out multiple children’s albums and I see these are his redeeming pieces. It is here that his simplicity thrives the most. The monotone Turns cadence allows for any child to easily sing along to one of Turns’ family friendly songs without having to deal with any of that tricky “melody” stuff. Talk along with Turns (as what he does cannot really be classified as either singing or rapping) as he asks the important questions like “Where are my colors?” and takes kids on a wonderful animal adventure in “Zoo Time.”

The best part about all these is that Mark Turns has each and every single poem and song copyrighted, a hobby which dates back all the way to 1981. With almost thirty albums it makes sense that Mark Turns would look into protecting his life work. Sadly, I doubt there are many people interested in infringing on those copyright laws.

Overall, while Mark Turns might not produce Grammy Award winning music (let’s just face it, he doesn’t even deserve a Razzie), his website is one of the most entertaining sites I have ever encountered. Plus, most of his music is on iTunes, making it easy to sample all of the greatest Turns tracks (you do judge a song by its title. Don’t forget).

I’ll leave you with my suggestions of the Essential Mark Turns Songs which you must check out before 2012 when the world ends.
-Zoo Time
-Night-Time Is For Sleep
-Where Are My Colors
-Lovin A Woman
-Truly & Always a Lady
-It's Your Lady
-The Woman That I Want You To Be
-I'm Always Thinking of You
-It's About You
-Sweet Lovin' Lady
-Loving You Deeply and Being Satisfied, Pt. 2 (don't forget-woman AND human being).
-Having You Here
-Have the Thoughts But Go Slow
-It Doesn't Matter What The Clock Says

I really can't even do this anymore. They're all gold. It's too hard to choose. Though, I can't remember the names of my two favorite songs. It's kind of killing me. I hope you enjoy Mark "Goat" Turns as much as I do.

Go, Johnny, Go

This is my quickly thrown together post about my boyfriend of boyfriends: Johnny Weir.
Now, I know I'm biased, but I truly do believe Johnny was underscored at the Olympics on Thursday. My baby finished in sixth place under Lambiel! While that man is an incredible skater, he did not bring it to the ice that night. Johnny, on the other hand, killed! Absolutely slayed! He deserved at fourth or at least fifth. Obviously, I was rooting for third, but that was in my wildest dreams. But you know what? Johnny's happy and proud of him performance and so I'm just going to be happy for him because we're in love.

And there are so many reasons why I love him. He's sassy, he's funny, he puts on a blonde wig and glasses then sits in a bubble bath pretending to be a foreign journalist interviewing his best friend/roommate. He's just incredible.

The best part about Johnny Weir is that in addition to being such an enigmatic person, he is also one of the world's most talented skaters. It still astounds me that he didn't start skating until he was twelve and did an axel jump the first week on skates after just watching people do it on tv. How. Fucking. Bad. Ass!!!!!!

If you are unfamiliar with Johnny, I highly recommend checking out his website--specifically the section entitled "favorites." If you don't want to go through all of that, I'll give you some of the highlights here.

Favorites is separated into many categories. There are the classic staples such as musical artists, books, films, color, etc.

And then it gets weird.

Ever want to know Johnny's favorite airlines? Animals? Collectibles? Furs? Jeans? Spas? He's pretty much got it all covered. There's even an old section for "Hot Things For Fall 2009." I really wish he'd update it for Summer 2010 because how else will I know what the best "Object of Desire" is?

Not surprisingly, Johnny's musical favorites are all dominated by Lady Gaga, other AT40 artists and a bunch of Russian artists I don't know.

His favorite female actresses are also a personal favorite of mine:
Cate Blanchett, Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, Meryl Steep, Parker Posey, Cloe Sevigny, & Blythe Danner

Very telling, don't you think, but I think he forgot Bernadette Peters and the Swinton...

Also, one of Johnny's favorite weathers is "full moons." Though it's not quite a real 'weather', I looove it.

Plus, I once dined at Balthazar--one of Johnny's favorite restaurants. It's like we're soulmates!

The best part about Johnny's favorites page is by far the quotes, for this simple reason: He has five quotes listed. Two from Tolstoy, one from Aleksander Pushkin, and two from Christina Aguilera. How awesome is that? (Answer: So awesome you can't put it into words.)

I know this post is all over the place. I just get really flustered when it comes to JG. Here's a little video I found of baby Johnny skating to *Nsync to make up for the crap that was this post.



Or you could just watch this one again and again.

LIES LIES LIES! Just watch this one. If Plushenko had skated more like this last night, he would have taken gold home for sure and beaten that skating robot, Evan Lysacek.



Also, I realized Evan is just like all those guys in cliche rom-coms. He needs to be on a cross-country road trip with a free spirit so that he can learn to loosen up and enjoy life and his companion could learn about responsibility. Or just lock him and Johnny in a room for a week. I think Evan's head would explode and we wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

Heart of Ice

I've been planning a big Johnny Weir post but have yet to get around to it, unfortunately. Hopefully I'll have one ready for when he takes home an Olympic medal on Thursday.

I do have to do one quick update on another male figure skater, though. Meet Florent Amodio.
I'm in love. He's 19, Brazilian, but was adopted by a French couple after he was abandoned when he was four. He's overcame a knee-disease only to recuperate and make it to the Olympics, stealing my heart. But most importantly, he brought us this:

And this (just skip to the part where he takes his jacket off):

You all already know how I feel about hilarious, sassy, and modern ice skating routines! And now that Johnny's leaving the ice I need another figure skater to dominate my heart. There's not a doubt in my mind that I've found him. Love you, Florent! Can't wait to marry you and have adorable triple-axeling, ice-dancing babies.

Get LOST, Losers

When it comes to my friends, I rarely get mad. I get annoyed and frustrated and need to vent sometimes, but mad? Not really. I can't remember the last time I came close to yelling at a friend of mine, not that last night was a serious fight. I was just incredibly, incredibly annoyed to the point of anger. You see, what had happen'd was--

We were all over at The Girls apartment (a misleading name seeing as one of the roommates is a boy named Willie) and since it was a Tuesday I mentioned how stoked I was about getting home and watching LOST on my DVR. My friend had just recently started watching the show and I asked her how far she was. She said she was on season two but had watched part of the new premier.

What. The. Fuck.

I was shocked. She then went on to exclaim that, to her surprise, she couldn't follow it! And that even the time switches were different. I didn't even know how to respond at first. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people skip around on tv shows that aren't floopy sitcoms (ex: Friends, Seinfeld, etc--though, I might add, How I Met Your Mother is a sitcom that you do need to watch in order. I made the mistake of treating it like King of Queens for a month. Long story short: I made a huge mistake).

This is also my friend who started watching Dollhouse at the second season premier and "couldn't get into it." DUH! History within in a show is so important. I really shouldn't have been surprised when she did this latest flub. What really upset me is that she thought she could jump four seasons ahead in LOST and still comprehend and enjoy it. Clearly, this girl is not getting what she should out of the show. LOST is a mental masterpiece. It's an incredible puzzle and mystery and if you don't understand that within a single episode the entire series can change directions one hundred times over. To treat LOST like any other show is insulting and disrespectful to TV and Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and me and everyone else who loves this show. It's like thinking you know better than the writers. If they wanted you to have the information from season six in season two, they would have given it to you earlier.

My other friend went to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant for restaurant week and ordered duck. There was a lot of fat on it and she considered cutting it off, but then she thought to herself, "If this is how Gordon wants it, this is how I'll eat it. He knows best." That is the exact same mindset and respect with which you need to treat LOST and other high-caliber tv shows and fuck anyone who says different.

Though, not actually fuck my friend because I love her and she really is awesome.

New Years Update

So I know I've kind of dropped the ball this year with the whole blogging thing. Joonbug usually blogs me out during the week and I'm still kind of catching up on sleep from winter break. I really promise that I will start updating more and speaking of updates, here's where I stand on my 2010 To Do List thus far.

In the first month of the year I have accomplished not one, but two of my goals. First off, dye my hair. No longer will people tell me I have black hair (it was brown, for your information). Now, I am a verrry dark brown auburn and I am loving it. I think I'm going to keep dying it, at least until I go home for the summer. Here's a nice little side-by-side of the before and after so you can marvel at the beauty.
Next off, Kelly and I finally got cable. And not just basic cable--we have 150 channels in two rooms PLUS two dvrs all for $35 a month. It is incredible and I'm kind of obsessed. And now that I can watch TV on an actual TV I think I'll blog more since it will allow me easier multi-tasking.

I think the most important thing that has come from all of this is my re-newed love for Johnny Weir. I have been searching for Be Good Johnny Weir online since it's debut and hadn't been able to find it anywhere. Now, I get Sundance Channel which means I have a season pass to the show and am going to avoid deleted episodes--at. all. costs. It's the new Hey Paula!
I really wish that I was more awake so that I could devote more time and effort to my love of Johnny Weir and of course, my other new love, my beta fish, Lucille. Yes, you've heard that right. Kelly and I got two beta fish, Buster and Lucille. Aren't we funny? We're kind of obsessed and are considering becoming "fish people."

Oh, that also reminds me--this year hasn't all been honkey-dorey so far. I am officially cursed. Do not hang around me at the semester beginning/end. The weekend fall semester started, I was roofied. The weekend it ended, my friend passed away. And now, the weekend this semester started, Nina and I decided to leave my cozy apartment and head over to hers (about a five minute walk) at about midnight because all of our friends were there. I grab my wallet in case I decided to buy a beer outside her apartment and then go back to grab my camera because it was the last night of break and who knew what hilarious antics might occcur, right?

Nina and I get about one block outside my apartment when a man pulls a gun on us and takes both of our purses and my cell phone. It was terrifying and horrible and just terrifying inconvenient.
I lost everything--my debit card, my new metrocard, my lisence, my fake ID, my student ID, my camera, my keys, and my Aquafor. What. The. Fuck. We had to get our locks changed and all this bullshit. I'm over it.

So yeah, that was January in a nutshell. I really will try to be better at this blogging stuff more for the rest of the year. I mean, Sadie Gaga is coming up, so that should be pretty fabulous.

New Addition

There's been a new addition to my List. Let's all give a warm round of applause to my latest obsession: Donald "Not Danny" Glover.
You might recognize him as Troy from everyone's new favorite show, Community. Donald had already stolen my heart away from Joel McHale (quite a task), but when I recently learned that 30 Rock hired him while he was still in college to write for their show my love for him got so big it could no longer fit inside me and I actually had to share it with Claude. Then, I go to his Twitter only to see that he loves Bored to Death. Then, I go to his website only to see that he had written this:

"Yes, I know. It's been a long time...we shouldn't left...without a dope sketh to laugh to...RIP Aaliyah."

True. Fucking. Love.

You Always Listen to the Counting Crows When You're Upset

I don't care if it's officially the weekend now. All I want to do tonight is sit on my futon under my roommate's cheetah Snuggie and watch geeky TV. Of course, the show I really want to watch is a bitch to watch online and somehow I have not obtained the full series DVD box set yet. In case you couldn't guess the show, I'm talking about Roswell. What a show. Top drawer, really. Sarah is such a goddess for bringing that into my life. Of course, if she hadn't I wouldn't be so upset with my lack of alien teen drama right now. But, to quote Max, "Well, we can't win 'em all."

(That came from one of my favorite episodes. It's the one where Max and Kyle get drunk and stalk Liz and Max changes her friends faces in a photograph all to his. HILARITY!).

To try to paint you a picture of how awesome this show is just read this review courtesy of imdb.com (I've highlighted the best parts):

20 out of 21 people found the following comment useful :-
Roswell is - love in midst of mystery, trust in midst of fear and belief in midst of heresy., 28 November 2001

Roswell- mystery, enigma. There is some thing in Roswell that I can't put my finger on. And it is this that makes Roswell so very special. And suddenly - I believe in aliens. Whenever I see any of the episodes I feel as if everything is happening around me, as if I am one with the show. The characters of Roswell would stand out among a million others. Max, Michael, Isabelle, Liz and Maria - bonded by a secret. Max - so calm, so composed. Liz - unsure, disturbed yet optimistic. Michael- wild, impulsive. Isabel- though haughty yet with a faint touch of meekness. Maria- unsteady, 'on the edge' but true. Liz and Max, when together, depict everything beautiful in this world. The chemistry between them is so wonderful that it could make anyone wish to fall in love (all over again). The words spoken between them make time stand still, and make me feel like I'm the only audience to the most beautiful thing of the world. They, like, share an unspoken promise that, no matter what, they'd forever stand by each other. This is what that makes their relationship so special. It is a special relationship between special people The rest of the cast too carve a niche for themselves and make themselves felt against so strong a principal cast. And just to think I never knew about a place called Roswell, somewhere far away, where a secret will forever lay buried. P.S: At home, the first season of Roswell started this October (2001). And I am writing a review after having seen just six episodes.

That pretty much sums it up. Especially since 20 out of 21 people found that comment useful (seriously?) Since I don't have Roswell though, I've settled for a little of the Buffster which brought about a Roswell-related discovery. Glory (fucking "Glorificus"--what the fuck kind of name is that?) looks super similar to Katherine "I always try to get out of my contracts and bite the hand that feeds me" Heigl.

SIDE-BY-SIDE!

UPDATE: I forgot they had some Roswell on Hulu. GOD DOES LOVE ME!

Mazletov

I want do some Poof Point shit just so that I can relive my childhood with this glorious, glorious doll. Her name is Rebecca Rubin and she is a Russian-Jewish immigrant living in the LES in 1914. I am so glad they put so much effort into creating a good, relatable, Jewish American Girl. This is exactly what I wanted when I was younger. Hell, maybe I'd be a better Jew now if I'd had her back then. She is my new favorite. Forget Addy and Kirsten and Josefina. I am about to go out and buy Rebecca right now and save her for my future daughter. And maybe play with her while I wait.

Creepy-Chan

So I loved Allison from this cycle of ANTM. I did. And yes, OK, I watched America's Next Top Model. Online. I went out of my way to watch it on Supernovatube every Thursday after my Cyberspace class and before Cyborg. It was just mindless and if I fell asleep in the middle of it, it didn't matter. But anyways, I found her flickr account today and I don't know why, but I really enjoy it. She is defnitely living up to her old title of Creepy-Chan and I wish she'd shown off her creep side a little more on the show (you all know how much I love a good creep) but this flickr totally makes up for it. Here are some of my faves:










I love this last one mainly because it's called Oromanov and just makes me want to watch Anastasia.

My Life: The Subscription

Google Reader is my new best friend. It enables me to have all my blogs, nicely categorized, in one easy to access location. I will never be behind on blogs again! I shall be the world's smartest girl for only minutes a day! Internet smart at least. Fuck book/street smart--except the TV show. That shit was awesome. But yeah, if you don't already use Google Reader, do it. It's awesome. And has allowed me to keep in touch with blogs I never would have remembered to check. Such beautiful gems as these:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
I'd really recommend looking back through cake wrecks to the one that was supposed to be a congratulations on fatherhood. It truly is a "word journey."

I Give it an 8.3

So I've been on this Weekend at Bernie's kick for a while now and I kind of feel like the dude who posted this ad for Telepathic Advertising. I too am now realizing that TV and media are following my thoughts and desires. First Flight of the Conchords, then Chuck, and now Sit Down, Shut Up. Weekend at Bernie's is everywhere. I even watched it over the weekend as a pick-me-up. It worked wonderfully and I even realized another reason I love this movie so much. Bernie Lomax is the ultimate essence of nonchalance. That man keeps such a straight face the entire time he plays dead. He's like my idol. And probably my halloween costume next year. Oh, and I think I know why Bret brought up WAB2. He was clearly in this parody film, Weekend at Fidel's. I dare you to tell me it's not him. This is like Figwit all over again.

This One Goes Out to My Momz

Happy Mother's Day! From Sadie, Her Boo, and Flat Stanley