Halloween How-To: Britney Spears in "Toxic"

I dream about Halloween (no joke) and a good portion of these dreams have been centered around one costume idea: Britney Spears as the "Toxic" flight attendant. And now, my dream has come true!

This was definitely the only costume I had this year that cost money or took any effort. But if you love Brit Brit as much as me, I totally recommend trying this for next year.

1. You will need about 2 1/2 yards of teal fabric (I went shiny to make it even more absurd), silver ribbon, stuffing, FMQ shoes, and of course: glittery false eyelashes.

Unfortunately, I actually left my  eyelash glue at home so I had to skip that last step. It truly broke my heart.

Luckily, I was able to drink my sorrows away quite successfully.

2. This is the most important step. You need to get yourself a fashion student friend who's willing to help. Janelle here is sort of like a costume goddess and I was insanely lucky to have her make my costume for me.

So that's it! It's pretty simple — unless you're Janelle, that is.

When "Toxic" came on at the party, I was too pumped. I mean, that song is my jam! It's been my ringtone since sophomore year of high school, but when I heard it in my costume I finally felt as though I could move on.

Just kidding! You guys get to keep listening to that until I have to become a real person!

But seriously, the best part of the costume: Janelle made it even sluttier than the original costume Britney wore. It was ass out, booty out and I loved every second!

Certain people were freaking out all night that my skirt was too short and I was going to show off the goodies, but they forgot two very important things.

1. I never leave the house without my booty shorts on.

2. It's Halloween!

I mean, just look at my friend Mik! She truly got into the Halloween spirit as a bootleg Black Canary.

There were a lot of great ghetto costumes at the party The Girls/Willie threw on Sunday that weren't slutty. So if you're not me or Mik, there are awesome, cheap and more modest Halloween costumes for people on a budget.

Nina here rocked a blanket and shower curtain and went as Bartok from Anastasia. How fucking hilarious is that?!?

Janelle and Willie went as Paper and Plastic. Janelle wore a fucking awesome giant smiley face bag and Willie went as a bag lunch. It was totally adorbs. But Janelle's other costume totally took the cake — or should I say ice cream cake....

Bitch went as frickin soft serve! How cute is that?!? I'm seriously obsessed with her costumes every year.

And now, this costume is by no means easy. But it gets an honorable mention for awesomeness:

Those dino sleeves on her arms? Skaidra made that shit out of bubble wrap!

Her and Janelle kind of own Halloween.

Just looking at these pictures again is getting me so pumped for next year!

Maybe I'll just dress up as Roofie for his birthday party/Neuterfest 09 on Thursday...

Halloween How-To: Taylor Momsen

I've never been that into Slutoween — with the exception of the Sailor Saturn costume my mom made me. But seriously. Who could resist the awesomeness of this outfit?

The best part is, you can't even tell how ridiculously short the shirt is or how insane the boots are.

But moving on. This year I'm really upping the ante in the slut factor. Last night, I went as everyone's favorite underaged whore: Taylor Momsen. 

The best part about my T-Mom get-up is I didn't have to spend a dime! Though, when you look at what that meant I already owned, you may be inclined to judge me a little. 

So here's how to be your very own Haiti-hating, chain smoking, vibrator obsessed teenager.

1. Girl cannot live without three things: flannel, leather, and an over-sized shirt without pants. These are things that every girl has in their closet. And if they don't, they clearly are not my friend.

2. Here's where the "slut" part comes in. Taylor love, love, loves to wear lingerie as daywear, so bust our those thigh highs and garter belts and be prepared to look like a gutter hooker on her day off!

3. Find the goddamn rattiest long blonde wig you can find. Luckily, I already had one lying from my Sadie Gaga birthday party. I've really learned in the past year that you will use a long blonde wig more than you would ever imagine when you bought it. So if you don't have one yet, I recommend picking one up asap.

4. Obviously, I had to rock those false eyelashes again. And a shit ton of black eyeshadow to go with it. Sadly, I did underestimate how much eyeshadow I would need to properly emulate Lady T in photos. It was my one epic failure.

And there you have it! If you follow those simple steps then you, too, could look like the hottest mess on the block this holiday season!

Halloween How-To: Bootleg Bristow

I don't think it's any secret that I love Halloween, so when the opportunity came to dress up this year a week early I was thrilled. The problem was I am broke! And, the costume party was on a Saturday night. The same Saturday night as two other parties that were not themed. To avoid looking cray-cray and to maintain a reasonable sum in my bank account, I racked my brain for any easy/cheap solution. That's when I remembered the ultimate Halloween costume for the poor and lazy: Sydney Bristow!

If you also hate outfit repeating on Halloween but spent all your budget on your Slutty Chewbacca costume, here's how to be everyone's favorite double agent:

1. Wear all black. I'm sure not everyone has a pair of leather pants lying around (though Forever 21 would have otherwise), but shiny leggings or even regular ones will be good enough. Oh, and unless you want to look like an Amish beat poet, skip the turtleneck.

2. I'm addicted to false eyelashes, so this was a must for me (I might even wear these out on Thursday for fun). But you can skip this step if you don't have some lying around (aka if you're LAME!)

 3. Colored hair spray. Ughhh. This is the only part that sucks. Your hair will look and feel TERRIBLE and it will result in a 4:30am shower so you don't make your bed look like a murder zone while you sleep.

Cassidy as College, me as Sydney

And there you have it! Best part about this costume — so many people didn't even think I was dressed up. They just thought I was a slut with AWFUL hair and heavenly lashes. (Seriously. someone asked me if my eyelashes were real.)

So happy fucking pre-Halloween. Go carve some Jack-o-lanterns, drink seasonal ale, eat candy and get slutty 09!

Countdown to Awesome

I don't think it's any secret that I like dressing up. That's why no one reading this should be surprised that even though it's over two months away, I'm already planning my Halloween costumes (and yes, that is plural).

If I had things my way, I would dress in flamboyant, fabulous costumes with glitter eyeliner and poofed wigs everyday. I am working on building up the balls to dress my heart out on days besides Halloween and my birthday, but it's slow going. The monetary cushion needed to support such a garish habit is also a little hard to build up when I keep blowing it on margaritas at El Moderno and eggs benedict. Until I get rich or make it to the Emerald City where the Wizard will exclaim, "Sadie! You had the courage to dress awesome all along," Halloween is all I got.

I've spent my past few nights at Hachi since I got back from vacation pondering the big H issue and here are the top contenders I've come up with (if you steal any of these ideas without permission from me, I will pee on your floor):

Adam Lambert

Heavy black eyeliner, emo hair, leather, and bedazzlement--what about this doesn't scream my name? I mean, my life is the Glam Nation tour!

Johnny Weir

Johnny is one of my main boyfriends and a slight idol of mine. The only issue with Weir is that I can't decide if I would go as street Johnny Weir with tons of fur and mini metallic gloves (my current desktop background) or Poker Face Johnny with face paint and a mirrored leotard (one of my former desktop backgrounds). If you need a small taste of me as street Johnny, here's some shots of me channeling him in Berlin:

Eloise

I fucking love Eloise at the Plaza. My mom used to hide the book from Emi and I because it's all we ever wanted her to read us. Now, all I want is a Kleenex box as a hat and a little pug to pay homage to my rambunctious heroine.

Candyland

This is more of a group thing. But I totally call dibs on either Princess Lolly or Lord Licorice.

Fraggle

This is pretty much the same as Candyland where I would want a group, but I can't decide which one I would go as. There's Red, Wembley, Gobo, Boober, and so many more! I don't know if I could bring myself to choose.

Bernie Lomax

Do I really even need to explain this one? Bernie's the best, I'm the best. It just makes sense.

Stefon's Ideas

If you haven't seen the SNL Stefon clips then just get out of my life until you watch them and cry because you were laughing so hard. Plus, just think of the skits as him listing amazing Halloween costume ideas. There's DJ Baby Bok Choy, puppets in disguise, human fire hydrants, and of course, Gay Liotta.

Paula Abdul and Scat Cat

I don't know if y'all know about my love for "Opposites Attract." I made it my goal in my animation class last year to watch this cinematic masterpiece in class (and I totally succeeded). All I need to do is find someone tall and lanky to be my partner in crime (cat preferred, but I will accept human applicants).

I still have months until Halloween but I'm already stressed in trying to narrow down this list. I know you guys are really invested in my Halloween costume decisions so I'll keep you updated.

Fuck Staycation, Give Me A Gaycation!

Tomorrow morning I leave for vacation again. (I'm spoiled, I know. White privilege. Whatcha gonna do about it?)

(Please don't actually answer that and make me feel terribly guilty.)

The first stop on my whirlwind tour of the Midwest (aka Michigan and Illinois) is Gull Lake where I shall be helping Sarah babysit some kids. I can't fucking wait for this. There is nothing more fabulous than kiddie dance parties. Look at a picture of a little girl in dress-up lipsyncing to Britney Spears and then a picture of a drag queen doing the same. Practically no difference at all when it comes down to it.

So in honor of all the fierceness that's about to happen on hopefully the biggest gaycation I'll be on until Sarah and I take Las Vegas (Celine here we come!) below are some pics of one of my main STG (short, trashy, gay) boyfriends.

Ok, if I can be honest here, these pictures aren't exactly in honor of my gaycation. I saw on Twitter that Google Images got a makeover and wanted to test it. My brain went on autopilot and googled one of my favorite all-time searches: Jensen Ackles gay. There were so many new entries that I felt they needed to be shown to the world as soon as possible. 

Fashion Show! Fashion Show! Fashion Show at Lunch!

Yes, I go to New School.

Yes, I have Animal Collective, Peter Bjorn and John, Passion Pit AND Grizzly Bear on my iTunes.

And yes, I do live in fucking Williamsburg.

I swear to you though, I have truly tried to resist my hipster impulses and not dress solely in bras, blazers and ripped lace shorts. But alas, today I fell. Not completely off the wagon, mind you. I was definitely hanging with the tips of my fingers to the little dignity I had left. 

You see, Cory and I went out to a fair today and my lazy ass didn't want to wear real clothes. So off I went into the depths of Williamsburg, dressed like this:

Yes, that is my bra you see.

And yes, those are booty bike shorts from Urban Outfitters.

I'm sure Emi is just rolling her eyes and vomiting all over me right now. She hates it when I wear leggings and a tie-dye t-shirt and this is a whole heck of a lot worse. But frankly, I don't care. 

I'm 20 years old. I show my bra and ass in public and I do what I want! I don't care if some townie on vacation snaps a pic and puts me on UIUC No Pants. I was fucking comfortable and that's all that matters.

And wouldn't you rather have me wear a little less clothes than have me wear something with some slutty saying or strategically placed graphics?

See? Wouldn't those be way worse? 

Though, the eyes on the tits one is pretty funny because it's like your boobs are staring down whose ever staring at your boobs and going "Bitch plz. Back the fuck up."

Plus, at least I don't dress like a slutty subway ad for a show about lesbians (I'm looking at you, people who bought this Mod Cloth swimsuit and thought it was "tres chic").

Point made. Case closed.

Grrrowl Power

Anyone who know me knows I love The Cheetah Girls (especially my baby Raven. Suuup gurrrrl!). Junior year of high school my buddies and I even dressed up as them for spirit week.

Needless to say, we were a hit.

Each of us had a character. I was Raven/Galleria (obviously). Katie was Do. Zoe was Aqua. And my friend Justin was an honorary Chanel.

Needless to says that picture is a complete misrepresentation of how he felt about being included.

I love The Cheetah Girls a little too much. They took up a good amount of my life just a few years ago, but since the band broke up and my all-time favorite television show (That's So Raven) ended, I've really missed them. So let's see where these Cheetalicious chicks are now.

Do/Sabrina Bryan

 Sassy choreographer Dorinda hasn't really done anything outside of The Cheetah Girls. Maybe it's because she's the fucking pits.

Though, she was in a direct to DVD movie entitled Mostly Ghostly whose tagline was "Who Let the Ghosts Out?" Kind of awesome. Plus, it's based on an R.L. Stine novel AND Ali Lohan is it.

Based on these last pieces of evidence, maybe Do isn't the pits so much after all.

Then again, her and Aqua are apparently developing a talk show that is like The View for young people. That's like when Stephen Hawking said he was writing a children's book that was Harry Potter without the magic.

She also has a really awkward dance workout called Byou.

Chanel/Adrienne Bailon

My lady love Chuchi remained fairly constant in my life outside of Cheetah Girl fame until recently. This was due to her relationship with Rob Kardashian which was chronicled on the glorious Keeping Up With the Kardashians. 

Even though the two were sooo in love (they got tattoos of each other's names) they have now broken up, which means she's no longer on The Kardashians AND they both feel like idiots. 

Apparently she also had an album that came out, released naked photos of herself, and does MTV afternoon programming. No one cares. I don't either. I only care about her in cheetah print or macking on Rob. 

RIP Adriobert!

Aqua/Kiely Williams

Kiely will always be the quirky, tutu wearing, hot sauce loving Cheetah Girl to me. Maybe that's why she's trying so hard to change her image. In addition to doing really stupid movies where she plays characters named "Kandi Kane" or the sequel to Stomp the Yard (at least she could have done the Step Up series or maybe even something like You Got Served...Again!), Kiely has continued to make music, if you can call it that. I think her latest video is a pretty solid representation of what has happened to her since she forgot about Grrrowl Power. It's also a little disturbing.

And of course, saving the best for last.... 

Gabriella/Raven

Raven hasn't really done much (unfortunately) since her early departure from The Cheetah Girls. She did some movies I never saw, made some music I never listened too, etc. Though, she is set to star in an ABC Family movie called Revenge of the Bridesmaids

That's more like it!

She also has a YouTube channel called Raven Symone Presents where she shows you things like how to bling out your pens and pencils.

Though, nothing compares to the late and great That's So Raven. Proof below.

Spring Break: There Were Trees Involved

This bus ride is giving me an ample amount of free time which I have decided to fill with detailing my spring break in detail. The first part of my spring break adventures is right here in case you want a refresher. If not, do continue reading.

Alexandra is a "nature person". It's gross, I know. She likes biking and hiking and all that mess. She even repeatedly woke up early to excercise! I preferred to sleep in or watch ABC Family in my pjs. Sometimes I did humor her though and allowed her to take me on excursions into the outside world. Our last day, Alexandra decided to pack a picnic and take me on a hike. We got lost. I was not happy. She thought it was hysterical.

Lost in the Woods from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.
Eventually we did find the field she was looking for and it turned out to be a very nice dinner. Took some pictures, rolled around, and messed with Alexandra.

Spring Break with Alexandra from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

While it was nice to be out of the cement plastered city, most of the time we were out and about I just didn't know what to do with nature. It was all alive but stationary and brown and green and stuff. What do you do with that?

Alexandra tried to make me less awkward by instructing me to "jump in the air!" but that just made it worse. Air-jump pics and I do not get along. They just expose my awkwardness and enhance it exponentially. Examples A, B, C, and the most recent addition, D:

And keeping with the theme of forcing me to do things I don't like, Alexandra even took me on a night-nic to some railroad tracks off a highway by some water. This would have been fine and all if her mom hadn't just told us a story of a midget serial killer who walked along the rails murdering everyone he encountered. I got too scared after about five seconds and made us move to a rock closer to the road.

So while nature really isn't my thing, I did have a really great time and will miss the trees, grass, stars, etc once I'm back in the city. I was planning on trying to explore the little nature escapes the city does have by going to a bunch of parks and the waterfront this week, but the weather is supposed to be pretty foul. Oh well! I'm a week behind on TV anyways. Now I won't have that pesty fresh air to distract me from The Good Wife.

Spring Break: The Basics

It's hard for me to realize that I have to get back to real life tomorrow. I've been on spring break for the past week living in the magical dream world of Hanover with Alexandra. The worst part is I cant just ease back into the realm of school and responsibilities. We have a huge mid-term exam tomorrow, one which I'm not even close to done studying for. That's what I get to look forward to the second I deboard the bus I'm currently on (which is unfortunately not the marvelous Dartmouth Coach that we took last week which had free snacks, drinks, and wifi).

The past week was great though. I spent a little over a straight week with Xandra and we didn't bicker or kill each other. Though, just a few minutes ago was the closest we got to when I realized Alexandra had deleted a precious pic from my camera. If you know me, then you should know you do not fuck with my camera. If you ask me to not put a picture up, I won't. But I won't delete it. The problem was quickly solved through by a little game of Jinj-a-leen, a game the wonderful Renzo's taught me. Basically, you pretend your hand is a phone and you go "Jinj-a-leen! Jing-a-leen!" until the other person answers the "phone." You then proceed to suggest something bad or confrong them on something bad they did. The perp then responds with all the reasons that it was a bad idea. It's kind of an ingenious game. I'm a little bit obsessed.

Other than these rousing moments of Jinj-a-leen, Alexandra and I did many other excited things in New Hampshire. Well, maybe not exciting according to traditional standards. We were sober the whole time (excusing half of a way too old Miller, alcohol did not even touch my lips). From Friday until Tuesday our days mainly consisted of hanging out with Alexandra's parents and lounging around. Even once with her parents had left for Arizona we still spent a large majority of our time hanging our with other people's parents (Hanover is this weird family-oriented zone. It's kind of strange). While visiting Xandra's ex-boyfriend's parents I was even shown my first sugar house. I assume you, like I only a few days ago, have no fucking clue what a sugar house is. It's where you make maple syrup and is actually pretty sweet (no pun intended). There were some batshit crazy kids there and I sucked syrup straight from a tube stuck in a tree before downing a glass of the finished product. Fun syrup fact: It takes 40 gallons just to make one gallon of the ready to pour syrup.

And yes, it was that kind of spring break: the kind where I enlighten you with fun facts about syrup.

Even though St. Patrick's Day landed over our vacation we didn't go out partying or do anything remotely wild. We went to CVS with a five dollar limit to find the stupidest things before going back to her crib and working our way through an entire QuizFest magazine. The results actually kind of scared us with their accuracy. Unfortunately tough, we never did make it to playing the greatest game ever invented.

Alexandra and I also spent a huge portion of our time on vacation wearing various pairs of glasses. Don't ask, there really was no reason.

It is also currently one of my favorite seasons. No, not spring. It's prom season!

And one way that you can tell when you've found a good friend is when they, with no warning, come out of a room wrapped in scarves wrapped in scarves and draped in Native American necklaces and you don't ask for an explanation. You just poof up your hair, glitterize your face, and slap on some temp tattoos.

One of the funniest parts of the trip was comparing Alexandra and I's eating habits. If I may quote the girl, "I only need three things in my life: sex, the sun, and homemade potato salad." And boy, did that girl eat potato salad.

I preferred the brownies and coconut cake with raspberry sauce (not as much as Xandra's mom though. She freaked out when her husband sneakily hid the cake from her one night. In his defense though, we had already had dessert at a family friend's house just fifteen minutes before).

So pretty much, I spent an entire week in Star's Hollow and loved it. I know you're jealous.