heartpinksky

Another Year, Another Wig

2011-01-30T16:36:00.003-05:00

Last night we celebrated my birthday here in Urbana. Keeping in tradition, I, of course, wore a wig. It was a pretty epic night. Sarah got her nipples tweaked while dancing on a stage. We played Penny Can, watched Weekend at Bernie's 2, danced on poles and dropped it real low. My actual birthday has a lot to live up to now. Though, I doubt it will involve as much glitter (sadly).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Chace Crawford: Gayer Than You Think

2011-01-20T15:46:00.008-05:00

When it came to Gossip Girl I was always more of a Chuck Bass fan myself, but after seeing his fine ass in person and then watching my new favorite horrible movie Twelve I've gotten pretty into Chace Crawford. Though, not as into him as I was when he was slated to star in a Footloose remake. Him backing out of that gave me major blue balls. Its not even funny. But long story short: I developed a little crush on Chace and that crush has grown into full-fledged love after doing a Google search and seeing just how flippin' gay he is! It kind of has me speechless so I'm going to allow the photos to speak for themselves:

He's giving head to a beer bottle for chrissakes! And you know who Baby Chace reminds me of? My #1 fake gay: Jensen Ackles! It's no secret that Jensen and co-star Jared Padelecki can't keep their homoerotic chemistry in check either on-or-off set and the same goes for Chace and his former roommate and BFF Chuck Bass.

Plus, both Jensen and Chace did sensitive cowboy photoshoots in their past. Drool!

Also, no straight man who isn't Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone or Chris Kirkpatrick should have this many pictures with JC Chasez.

Case closed.

I Need A Drummer Boy (And Other Music Videos)

2011-01-17T22:16:00.006-05:00

The other day I was explaining how I have a weakness for pop songs infused with marching band beats or any sort of drumline action. Then today Sarah posted an absurd music video on my wall that featured a drumline (or as we like to think of it, a tribute to Drumline) which got me in the mood for a marching music vid marathon. I have decided to share the highlights with you loyal readers in the hopes that maybe after this I won't be the only one with a pop-march fetish. (Note: I only included ones that allowed me to embed videos. That meant the sacrifice of such beauties like Trick Daddy's "Shut Up.")

The One That Started It All

This is the video Sarah showed me that inspired this post. It's fabulously idiotic. Needless to say, I'm obsessed with it from start to finish. Why are they nurses? Why are they in a fake Target? So many questions and frankly, I don't care if I ever get the answers.

The Classic

This song was so overplayed the year it came out I'm still a little tired of it. Though, I did totally forget about all the amusing costumes (racing jumpsuit!), Pharrell, and how fucking awkward her strut is which made this trip down memory lane pretty damn enjoyable.

The Wannabe Slutty One

I'm sure it's no surprise that my favorite of all these drum songs is a slutty one — even though the poor girl really sucks at being slutty. The fabulous outfits and hilarious dancing more than make up for it though.

The Really Slutty One

I just don't even have words for this one except these bitches put Alesha to shame.

The One I Totally Forgot About

I love me some Destiny's Child (I think that's kind of assumed). But unless I'm listening to my Get Slutty playlist I totally forget about "Lose My Breath." It just sort of gets lost in the muddle of "Say My Name," "Jumpin Jumpin," "Bug A Boo" and all that. I don't know how I ever forgot about this video though. The whole weird doppleganger battle is fucking awesome along with their (slightly confusing) outfits.

The One From That Movie I Never Saw

There is seriously nothing better than Outkast when you're stoned and this was song was my fucking summer chill jam a couple years ago. I had never seen the video before though and that is a shame because this shit is trippy as all hell. I feel high just watching it right now.

The One From That Movie I've Seen Multiple Times

I'm kind of obsessed with Stick It. Really, I just love anything about gymnastics or figure skating. Those are the only sports I give a shit about (unless you count the Dillon Panthers and East Dillon Lions). I'm just stoked that Missy Elliot made such a badass theme song for the greatest (and only) movie I ever dipped out of school early to see on opening day. (Though I did get invited to skip school with a bunch of my friends the day Ray came out.)

And while we're talking about music videos I just have to add in my new obsession. This one is also thanks to the forever inappropriate Sarah. Even if you didn't watch a single one of the videos I just posted, watch this one. It's my new anthem.

New Year, New Love

2011-01-06T19:32:00.009-05:00

I've made a lot of mistakes in the past month. A lot. In fact, today I swore off drinking after last night's train wreck. (Though, we all know that won't last long.) But in these past few weeks I have made one of the greatest decisions of my life:

I started watching Parks and Recreation.

I started yesterday afternoon and I'm now almost finished with Season 2. But while the show is hilarious, the real reason I can't stop watching is my new boyfriend Chris Pratt.

I developed a minor crush on Chris way back in the day when he was on Everwood. He kept me watching that b.s. for far too long. It was kind of ridiculous. He also had the same affect on me and The O.C. Season 4. I watched almost half of that shit show because of his fine, bearded Brown student self.

But Parks and Rec has been such a game changer for me. It's so great to be able to enjoy watching Chris Pratt and enjoy the show I'm watching at the same time. Plus, he's 6'2", moved to Hawaii with his friends when he was 19 where he was then discovered at a Bubba Gubba Shrimp Company and his nickname is "Monkeyboy."

Can't you already see our embossed wedding invites?

Well, I guess first you'd have to see the divorce announcement for him and Anna Faris. A small price to pay for my happiness though. And frankly, I think it's worth it. I mean, he kind of is my ideal man. He's tall and...um, how do I say this...soft? Comfortable? Like a giant human pillow? Just like Jason Segel but two inches shorter? He also plays guitar and musicians love me. I don't give a crap about music so I don't really know why I only seem to date people who want to do that shit for a living. Mystery!

But to sum it up, we're a match made in heaven.

And yes, this picture happened:

DOUBLE BOYFRIEND SHOT!

Who's the Most Do-Able Divorced, Dumped or Dumpee Celebrity?

2010-12-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

Early December is prime time for dumping (Trust me, I know.) The pre-holiday dump is great for many because then you don't have to buy that pesky significant other a gift and you're free to find the perfect skank to ring in the new year with.

I mean, what says "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" more than making out with someone you don't know in a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's hallway?

A lot of celebrities decided to take advantage of dumping season, which sucks for them but is great for me! While I love all my celebrity boyfriends, it kind of takes the fun out of it if they're actually in love with someone else. That's why I read the year-end wrap ups of celebrity break ups as my own personal Who To Stalk List. So here goes Sadie's potential boyfriends for 2011!

The Most Do-Able Divorcée, Dumped & Dumpee Celebrities

Kellan Lutz and AnnaLynne McCord

Even though he dated Drunkface for so long (which is major points in the neg), Kellan is just too studly to be tainted by that slag. And he does say he wants to date a normal girl now. I'm normal! He can date me! Only problem with that is apparently "normal" to Kellan means athletic and into football and shit. No thank you! He can teach me about tweeting things that no one really cares about and I can teach him about being lazy and we'll just skip that exercise shit.

Ryan Phillipe and Abbie Cornish

So there's a good chance that Ryan is a cheating bastard. What actually happened between him and Abbie is all mixed up with contradicting stories and rumors. But at the end of the day, Ryan is too eff-ing hot and I still love him. I'm blind-sided by that sexy scruff of his. I can't help it.

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa's brunette. I'm brunette. I can curl my hair if that's what he's into. C'mon Zac! Just let me know what I have to do to make you and those abs mine! I don't care if you're gay! I really don't! Let me be your beard!

Dexter Morgan and Debra Morgan

So honestly, this couple always kind of creeped me out because I could never stop thinking of them as brother and sister. But at the same time I loved it. It's all very confusing. They were so cute in a weird, incestuous way. I am pretty stoked that Michael C. Hall is single again, though. He was in my original boyfriend list so this is a pretty exciting moment for me. I wonder if he ever wears that kill shirt in bed...

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson

I am not a Scarlett Johansson fan. She's hot, but that's kind of it. Ryan Reynolds is hot and funny and smart and romantic. He needs someone who is more than just pretty because, frankly, after looking at ScarJo for a while she just bores me. Learn to shake it up a little, gurl! I think Ryan and I would be a much better match. I'm attractive enough and let's be honest — I'm awesome!. Plus, rumors have it that Scarlett wasn't even that nice to him. I'm the sweetest! So why don't you upgrade, Ryan? You won't regret it!

Colin Farrell and Alicija Bachleda-Curus

So Colin Farrell is definitely a fixer-upper. That facial hair and his penchant for fedoras would seriously need to go if we were to ever to be seen in public together, but he's still pretty sexy. It's that damn accent. Plus, now that he's a dad and shit hopefully he's douchebagey ways are a thing of the past.

Gabriel Aubry and Halle Berry

Halle Berry is another one of those beautiful people that I just find absolutely dull and boring. Gabriel, on the other hand, is one of those beautiful people that I don't even care whether or not his personality is dumb or boring since he is so fucking fiiiiiiine. He's like Sawyer if instead of living on a mysterious death island he lived on an island off the coast of Grenyorny! He's the perfect balance of rich pretty boy and rugged sex appeal and he will be mine.

Stuart Townsend and Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron is the shit. Therefore, I assume anyone she would spend nine years of her life with is equally awesome. So congratulations, Stuart. I barely know you, but I would trust Charlize's tastes with my life. Arrested Development, being BFFs with Liv Tyler, her episode of Between Two Ferns...Girl knows what's up.

I Refuse To Be A Grinch

2010-12-20T23:04:00.013-05:00

I’m sitting on a plane right now headed home for the first time since I visited over the summer and I’m having trouble reconciling how everything can be simultaneously so different, yet exactly the same.

Yesterday was the five-month anniversary of Thompson and I’s first date (Something I didn’t even realize until I was thousands of feet up in the air and miles away from him). I remember that night so well since — while I may be no stranger to the dating scene — it’s a rare occasion when I actually get treated to a real date.

I remember how excited I was to go over to his apartment when I got off work that night. I had gotten all cuted-up and wore one of my favorite dresses, which will now always remind me of that date. (Unfortunately, it will also forever be known as The Dress I Got Roofied In.) I spent my entire shift babbling to the waiters about how cute this guy was and how sweet it was that he wanted to cook for me when I was leaving town two days later for nearly a month.

I was so elated that I even texted my best friend on her vacation to tell her the exciting news. I wrote something to the extent of: “A boy I met at a party on Saturday is cooking me dinner tonight after work! If my drunken memory serves me correct, he’s really cute! I just wish I wasn’t going to Urbana in a couple days.”

Totally harmless, normal text to send to a friend, right?

Except one thing: I accidentally sent it to him.

I, of course, felt like I was going to vomit and thought I had completely embarrassed myself and ruined any chance of me not seeming like an overly-eager, desperate slag.

He was sweet, though and while he poked a little fun at me, he didn’t rub it in my face.

The rest of the date went much better. He had lit candles, we drank wine on the roof, he cooked me curry and we curled up on his couch and watched my favorite TV shows on his computer.

It’s hard to imagine that when I went over there last night we could do almost all the same things, but have it be so completely different. He once again cooked me dinner — this time we enjoyed beer instead of wine — and we curled up on the couch and watched one of my favorite shows which he had just gotten me for Christmas.

Except this time, the date wasn’t filled with the hopeful, happy anticipation you get at the beginning of the new relationship, but with the bittersweet resignation that comes at the end.

After breaking up Tuesday, getting back together on Wednesday, then breaking up again on Friday, it had been rough week for us, to say the least. Sunday was our final goodbye before I headed home and to New Zealand.

Now, here I am again on a plane to Illinois for a couple weeks, wanting to text him to make sure he knows that I’m still thinking about him and won’t forget him while I’m gone. But this time my desire to text him isn’t hampered by the fear of being too clingy, but by the fear of holding on to something that’s over.

Frankly, both scenarios suck.

This is my second break up in a year and I just can’t believe I’m going to be spending another Christmas/New Years alone as a drippy-doodah eating ice cream, indulging in cheap wine and watching empowering chick flicks (already checked The First Wives Club off the list. Waiting to Exhale is next!).

Then again, while I was pretty devastated last winter after breaking up with my boyfriend of three years and losing my good friend Will, I still managed to have a relatively good — albeit wasted — time and I refuse to ring in 2011 all Bridget Jones style. (Unless that means Colin Firth hitting on me in an adorably hideous reindeer sweater. I wouldn’t mind ending my year on a note like that.)

So while I might not be the most holly-jolly Christmas spirit this season, I will not let this break up ruin the most wonderful time of the year. Especially over a guy who has never even seen The Grinch! Once I learned that, I realized we never really had any chance of a future anyways.

That's not to say that I didn't and still don't care about him a lot. We were just completely incompatible. See?

When he was happy, I was passed out. When I was happy, he was making sad diva faces. It was like The Lake House — we were just never in the same place at the same time.

But there is one silver lining when comparing our last date to our first. While I may have gotten a pretty great relationship out of our first date, I got a Snuggie out of our last! And c’mon. Be honest, which would you really rather have?

Which will not only keep your body warm at night, but also your arms?!? Which will not misplace the remote, but actually help you keep track of it since you can just keep it in the handy pocket along with all your hard candies and chapstick?!?

Find me a boyfriend that can do all that, and I think you’ll have found me a husband.

So get ready readers, for the newly-single Sadie’s upcoming Divorced/Dumped Celebrity Dating List. Because now that they’re single and I’m single, I think 2011 is going to be our year to mingle! (That’s right, Zac Efron. I’m talking ‘bout you.)

Plus, I’m just about to have a lot of free time on my hands and I need something to do. Bitch is the new black, and blog is the new boyfriend.

Mustache Baby!

2010-11-24T16:17:00.002-05:00

If this isn't the greatest music video you've ever seen —besides "Toxic," obviously— then I will be shocked.

(And send me the link to whatever's better asap.)

Halloween How-To: Britney Spears in "Toxic"

2010-11-03T10:45:00.000-04:00

I dream about Halloween (no joke) and a good portion of these dreams have been centered around one costume idea: Britney Spears as the "Toxic" flight attendant. And now, my dream has come true!

This was definitely the only costume I had this year that cost money or took any effort. But if you love Brit Brit as much as me, I totally recommend trying this for next year.

1. You will need about 2 1/2 yards of teal fabric (I went shiny to make it even more absurd), silver ribbon, stuffing, FMQ shoes, and of course: glittery false eyelashes.

Unfortunately, I actually left my eyelash glue at home so I had to skip that last step. It truly broke my heart.

Luckily, I was able to drink my sorrows away quite successfully.

2. This is the most important step. You need to get yourself a fashion student friend who's willing to help. Janelle here is sort of like a costume goddess and I was insanely lucky to have her make my costume for me.

So that's it! It's pretty simple — unless you're Janelle, that is.

When "Toxic" came on at the party, I was too pumped. I mean, that song is my jam! It's been my ringtone since sophomore year of high school, but when I heard it in my costume I finally felt as though I could move on.

Just kidding! You guys get to keep listening to that until I have to become a real person!

But seriously, the best part of the costume: Janelle made it even sluttier than the original costume Britney wore. It was ass out, booty out and I loved every second!

Certain people were freaking out all night that my skirt was too short and I was going to show off the goodies, but they forgot two very important things.

1. I never leave the house without my booty shorts on.

2. It's Halloween!

I mean, just look at my friend Mik! She truly got into the Halloween spirit as a bootleg Black Canary.

There were a lot of great ghetto costumes at the party The Girls/Willie threw on Sunday that weren't slutty. So if you're not me or Mik, there are awesome, cheap and more modest Halloween costumes for people on a budget.

Nina here rocked a blanket and shower curtain and went as Bartok from Anastasia. How fucking hilarious is that?!?

Janelle and Willie went as Paper and Plastic. Janelle wore a fucking awesome giant smiley face bag and Willie went as a bag lunch. It was totally adorbs. But Janelle's other costume totally took the cake — or should I say ice cream cake....

Bitch went as frickin soft serve! How cute is that?!? I'm seriously obsessed with her costumes every year.

And now, this costume is by no means easy. But it gets an honorable mention for awesomeness:

Those dino sleeves on her arms? Skaidra made that shit out of bubble wrap!

Her and Janelle kind of own Halloween.

Just looking at these pictures again is getting me so pumped for next year!

Maybe I'll just dress up as Roofie for his birthday party/Neuterfest 09 on Thursday...

Halloween How-To: Taylor Momsen

2010-10-31T12:19:00.000-04:00

I've never been that into Slutoween — with the exception of the Sailor Saturn costume my mom made me. But seriously. Who could resist the awesomeness of this outfit?

The best part is, you can't even tell how ridiculously short the shirt is or how insane the boots are.

But moving on. This year I'm really upping the ante in the slut factor. Last night, I went as everyone's favorite underaged whore: Taylor Momsen.

The best part about my T-Mom get-up is I didn't have to spend a dime! Though, when you look at what that meant I already owned, you may be inclined to judge me a little.

So here's how to be your very own Haiti-hating, chain smoking, vibrator obsessed teenager.

1. Girl cannot live without three things: flannel, leather, and an over-sized shirt without pants. These are things that every girl has in their closet. And if they don't, they clearly are not my friend.

2. Here's where the "slut" part comes in. Taylor love, love, loves to wear lingerie as daywear, so bust our those thigh highs and garter belts and be prepared to look like a gutter hooker on her day off!

3. Find the goddamn rattiest long blonde wig you can find. Luckily, I already had one lying from my Sadie Gaga birthday party. I've really learned in the past year that you will use a long blonde wig more than you would ever imagine when you bought it. So if you don't have one yet, I recommend picking one up asap.

4. Obviously, I had to rock those false eyelashes again. And a shit ton of black eyeshadow to go with it. Sadly, I did underestimate how much eyeshadow I would need to properly emulate Lady T in photos. It was my one epic failure.

And there you have it! If you follow those simple steps then you, too, could look like the hottest mess on the block this holiday season!

Movin' Like Bernie

2010-10-29T11:23:00.000-04:00

It's officially Halloween weekend. That means slutty costumes, excessive drinking, and goddamn dancing. But if you feel lost in the sea of Snookis and skanky renditions of comic book characters, I found the way you can help make yourself stand out from the crowd. When the music is pumpin', instead of grinding and booty shaking like everybody else, just bust out this sweet new dance (and yes, it is based off of me and Rachel Green's all-time favorite movie Weekend at Bernie's).

If you're in the NYC area this weekend I'm sure you'll see me and Thompson breakin' it down Bernie Lomax style. We're super sexy like that.

Halloween How-To: Bootleg Bristow

2010-10-27T14:38:00.001-04:00

I don't think it's any secret that I love Halloween, so when the opportunity came to dress up this year a week early I was thrilled. The problem was I am broke! And, the costume party was on a Saturday night. The same Saturday night as two other parties that were not themed. To avoid looking cray-cray and to maintain a reasonable sum in my bank account, I racked my brain for any easy/cheap solution. That's when I remembered the ultimate Halloween costume for the poor and lazy: Sydney Bristow!

If you also hate outfit repeating on Halloween but spent all your budget on your Slutty Chewbacca costume, here's how to be everyone's favorite double agent:

1. Wear all black. I'm sure not everyone has a pair of leather pants lying around (though Forever 21 would have otherwise), but shiny leggings or even regular ones will be good enough. Oh, and unless you want to look like an Amish beat poet, skip the turtleneck.

2. I'm addicted to false eyelashes, so this was a must for me (I might even wear these out on Thursday for fun). But you can skip this step if you don't have some lying around (aka if you're LAME!)

3. Colored hair spray. Ughhh. This is the only part that sucks. Your hair will look and feel TERRIBLE and it will result in a 4:30am shower so you don't make your bed look like a murder zone while you sleep.

Cassidy as College, me as Sydney

And there you have it! Best part about this costume — so many people didn't even think I was dressed up. They just thought I was a slut with AWFUL hair and heavenly lashes. (Seriously. someone asked me if my eyelashes were real.)

So happy fucking pre-Halloween. Go carve some Jack-o-lanterns, drink seasonal ale, eat candy and get slutty 09!

The Greatest Gift

2010-10-27T11:02:00.000-04:00

I'm back!

After a two-plus month hiatus your favorite blogger has returned. But since it's 11 in the morning right now and I have to go to class today I don't have time to wow you all with my amazing wit and talent. But, I have something even better.

You're probably thinking, "Better than you? How can that be possible?"

Well, the answer is simple: Mark Fucking Turns.

In my last post about the great MT, I said that my Kater got the opportunity to interview Mark and I would post the video as soon as I could. Well, that day is finally here. So watch, wonder, and you're welcome.

Mark Turns from ktmccall on Vimeo.

Countdown to Awesome

2010-08-17T16:28:00.001-04:00

I don't think it's any secret that I like dressing up. That's why no one reading this should be surprised that even though it's over two months away, I'm already planning my Halloween costumes (and yes, that is plural).

If I had things my way, I would dress in flamboyant, fabulous costumes with glitter eyeliner and poofed wigs everyday. I am working on building up the balls to dress my heart out on days besides Halloween and my birthday, but it's slow going. The monetary cushion needed to support such a garish habit is also a little hard to build up when I keep blowing it on margaritas at El Moderno and eggs benedict. Until I get rich or make it to the Emerald City where the Wizard will exclaim, "Sadie! You had the courage to dress awesome all along," Halloween is all I got.

I've spent my past few nights at Hachi since I got back from vacation pondering the big H issue and here are the top contenders I've come up with (if you steal any of these ideas without permission from me, I will pee on your floor):

Adam Lambert

Heavy black eyeliner, emo hair, leather, and bedazzlement--what about this doesn't scream my name? I mean, my life is the Glam Nation tour!

Johnny Weir

Johnny is one of my main boyfriends and a slight idol of mine. The only issue with Weir is that I can't decide if I would go as street Johnny Weir with tons of fur and mini metallic gloves (my current desktop background) or Poker Face Johnny with face paint and a mirrored leotard (one of my former desktop backgrounds). If you need a small taste of me as street Johnny, here's some shots of me channeling him in Berlin:

Eloise

I fucking love Eloise at the Plaza. My mom used to hide the book from Emi and I because it's all we ever wanted her to read us. Now, all I want is a Kleenex box as a hat and a little pug to pay homage to my rambunctious heroine.

Candyland

This is more of a group thing. But I totally call dibs on either Princess Lolly or Lord Licorice.

Fraggle

This is pretty much the same as Candyland where I would want a group, but I can't decide which one I would go as. There's Red, Wembley, Gobo, Boober, and so many more! I don't know if I could bring myself to choose.

Bernie Lomax

Do I really even need to explain this one? Bernie's the best, I'm the best. It just makes sense.

Stefon's Ideas

If you haven't seen the SNL Stefon clips then just get out of my life until you watch them and cry because you were laughing so hard. Plus, just think of the skits as him listing amazing Halloween costume ideas. There's DJ Baby Bok Choy, puppets in disguise, human fire hydrants, and of course, Gay Liotta.

Paula Abdul and Scat Cat

I don't know if y'all know about my love for "Opposites Attract." I made it my goal in my animation class last year to watch this cinematic masterpiece in class (and I totally succeeded). All I need to do is find someone tall and lanky to be my partner in crime (cat preferred, but I will accept human applicants).

I still have months until Halloween but I'm already stressed in trying to narrow down this list. I know you guys are really invested in my Halloween costume decisions so I'll keep you updated.

Fuck Staycation, Give Me A Gaycation!

2010-07-21T00:02:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow morning I leave for vacation again. (I'm spoiled, I know. White privilege. Whatcha gonna do about it?)

(Please don't actually answer that and make me feel terribly guilty.)

The first stop on my whirlwind tour of the Midwest (aka Michigan and Illinois) is Gull Lake where I shall be helping Sarah babysit some kids. I can't fucking wait for this. There is nothing more fabulous than kiddie dance parties. Look at a picture of a little girl in dress-up lipsyncing to Britney Spears and then a picture of a drag queen doing the same. Practically no difference at all when it comes down to it.

So in honor of all the fierceness that's about to happen on hopefully the biggest gaycation I'll be on until Sarah and I take Las Vegas (Celine here we come!) below are some pics of one of my main STG (short, trashy, gay) boyfriends.

Ok, if I can be honest here, these pictures aren't exactly in honor of my gaycation. I saw on Twitter that Google Images got a makeover and wanted to test it. My brain went on autopilot and googled one of my favorite all-time searches: Jensen Ackles gay. There were so many new entries that I felt they needed to be shown to the world as soon as possible.

Fashion Show! Fashion Show! Fashion Show at Lunch!

2010-07-09T18:28:00.000-04:00

Yes, I go to New School.

Yes, I have Animal Collective, Peter Bjorn and John, Passion Pit AND Grizzly Bear on my iTunes.

And yes, I do live in fucking Williamsburg.

I swear to you though, I have truly tried to resist my hipster impulses and not dress solely in bras, blazers and ripped lace shorts. But alas, today I fell. Not completely off the wagon, mind you. I was definitely hanging with the tips of my fingers to the little dignity I had left.

You see, Cory and I went out to a fair today and my lazy ass didn't want to wear real clothes. So off I went into the depths of Williamsburg, dressed like this:

Yes, that is my bra you see.

And yes, those are booty bike shorts from Urban Outfitters.

I'm sure Emi is just rolling her eyes and vomiting all over me right now. She hates it when I wear leggings and a tie-dye t-shirt and this is a whole heck of a lot worse. But frankly, I don't care.

I'm 20 years old. I show my bra and ass in public and I do what I want! I don't care if some townie on vacation snaps a pic and puts me on UIUC No Pants. I was fucking comfortable and that's all that matters.

And wouldn't you rather have me wear a little less clothes than have me wear something with some slutty saying or strategically placed graphics?

See? Wouldn't those be way worse?

Though, the eyes on the tits one is pretty funny because it's like your boobs are staring down whose ever staring at your boobs and going "Bitch plz. Back the fuck up."

Plus, at least I don't dress like a slutty subway ad for a show about lesbians (I'm looking at you, people who bought this Mod Cloth swimsuit and thought it was "tres chic").

Point made. Case closed.

ASkars Gives Fierce Face As Well As Fangs

2010-07-08T23:28:00.001-04:00

I don't think it's any secret that my notebooks are full of a thousand variations of "ASkars + Sadie 4 EVAAA!" doodles. Since True Blood came on the air, Alexander Skarsgard has slowly risen in the ranks of my boyfriends. He is like air conditioning and DVR on a hot summer day, and for those of you in NYC right now you know how valuable those things are (preach it!).

(And yes, I did just baptist choir respond to myself. Suck on that.)

There is one thing standing in the way of our everlasting love, though. Well, technically two. ASkars is tall. In fact, boy is a full foot taller than me, ringing in at a towering 6'4".

The other issue at hand is that calling Alexander Skarsgard trashy is like eating my pizza rolls. You just don't do it.

Until tonight, I thought I was seriously breaking my type with him(ie: short, trashy, gay) but boy, was I wrong! That man has more than enough gay in him to choreograph a Johnny Weir routine with one hand while touching my boobs with the other.

I don't really want to keep you from the amazing piece of video glory any more, so please press play and have your life forever changed for the better.

Was that not my dream come true? Do you not think that nothing can get better than that video? Was that not just utter fierce perfection?

WRONG!

Life does get better. You see, while investigating the newly discovered glitter in my baby boy I came across this:

YEAH! WHAT NOW?!?! ASkars played a sassy fancy pants model in Zoolander and gave face even Brüno can't rival!

It's like I could die at this very moment and be perfectly content with my life (the fact that I'm also cuddled up with Lucy, eating chocolate chips and watching Bravo might also be aiding that sentiment).

But really, when I fall asleep this is what I'll be seeing in my dreams from now until forever:

HPS! True Hollywood Story: Willie Norris

2010-06-08T23:00:00.003-04:00

Abstract: I sat down with my friend Willie Norris to try and give you, my dedicated readers, an inside look at the man behind the beard. Willie opened up, as he munched truffle French fries, on a variety of topics ranging from the mundane (his love of candles) to the scandalous (his current feud with Facebooker Jessica Bishop). The image that emerges from this investigation into the life of William Richard Norris is that of a caring and paternal friend, but also of a liar and slight pyromaniac. It's a complex tale of love, betrayal, and buttholes. You’ll have to read on to discover for yourself just exactly who the true Willie Norris is.

[HPS] You seem to have a very special relationship with your dog Roofie, specifically his butthole. What’s up with that?

[Willie] I do. I just admire him that he lets it out in the open and is so open about it. And he is so…Rufus is like the opposite of self conscious. Like, he does whatever the fuck he pleases. He shows off his gaping ass hole and I just really admire that. And things get stuck up there all the time so…

Do you ever wish you could be more like Roofie in that aspect?

No. In some aspects I do. I wish I could be as cute as Roofie sometimes, like when he goes like this on my leg [mimes adorable scratch/dancing action] and know I was being that cute, but at the same time he’s also very clingy.

You’re always on the go with almost too many jobs to keep track of, but obviously the most important one is as iluvmyfans publicist. What’s it like to work with someone so fabulous?

Janelle’s a hard client.

Is she a bit of a diva?

A bit? Like, what I said about Roofie, that bitch knows what she wants and she will do whatever it takes to get that.

And what does she want?

She’s just a small girl from a little town who came to the big apple. She got off that plane and said “Watch out, NYC! Here’s Janelle!”

Basically, she wants to have a constant dialogue with her fans.

And how many fans does iluvmyfans currently have?

I believe she was nine Twitter followers.

Is that a lot in your opinion?

Yeah, because we’re dedicated to every single one. I’ve had a personal message from every single one. And heartpinksky follows us and that was a big moment.

If you had to say one thing to Hunter Fletcher on his death bed, what would it be?

Who?

[Pause]

That was it. And also, "Did you burn those fucking ugly True Religion jeans with the oversized stitching?"

He probably will be buried in those.

I hope so.

Christina or Britney?

[Long pause]

You know I don’t like this question.

You have to answer here. You’re on you’re deathbed now.

[Another long pause]

Christina.

Why? Was it the afro?

Cause bitch legitimately tries anything once. Christina picks something, does the fuck out of it, and isn’t afraid to like, get rid of it. And she’s really short and I like that.

What are your Top 10 music videos from the past 20 years?

I don’t know if I can think of ten. Um…"Waterfalls". That’s number one.

That’s such a good choice.

City High "What Would You Do."

"Come On Over". Because it makes me so happy.

I remember you, me, and Cassidy dancing along to that video last year.

Yup. How many is that? Four?

Miley Cyrus "Can’t Be Tamed"?

No. That isn’t even entertaining in an ironic or any other sort of way.

[Pause]

Ok, I’ll list four now and come back. (Ed note: He never did)

What is your power animal?

I really love platypusses.

And what is it about the platypus that you love so much?

Because it’s a fucking mammal and it’s underwater.

Um…dolphins? Do you mean that it’s a mammal that lays eggs.

That too.

Do you think Roofie would be upset that he wasn’t your power animal?

No, because I think that a power animal should be something that is not readily attainable as a house pet. So definitely a platypus.

How many pairs of pants do you own?

Like two.

Wait. Combined, maybe five. I just usually wear only two.

If you had to pick one pet of yours to live, who and why?

One pet?

Out of Bella, Boo-Boo, and Roofie.

Kill me.

[Nodding his head] Kill me.

Why do you like candles so much?

They’re not calming or anything. Fuck that shit. I just really like fire and I like blowing them out.

Do you like the band Kiss?

[Pause]

They have a lot of pyrotechnics. (Ed note: I’ve been watching a lot of Gene Simmons: Family Jewels so that explains why Kiss is the first thing that pops into my mind when I think about liking fire)

Was that one of your on-the-spot questions?

Yeah.

[Laughs] Um….not really.

My cheat food is alfredo, what’s yours?

Bowls and bowls and bowls and bowls of cereal.

That is the lamest cheat food ever.

No, but bowls! Like three bowls in a sitting.

How often do you cheat and what exactly are you cheating on?

I don’t really think I have a cheat food. Because if I want something I eat it.

Yeah, I don’t really have a cheat food either.

Mikayla’s is Pop Tarts?

That’s really Mikayla’s only cheat food?

That’s where the whole cheat food thing came from. Cause she said “Pop Tarts are totes my cheat food, what’s yours?”

I hate Mikayla.

Yeah.

You’ve recently been involved in some controversy that you’ve been very outspoken about. What exactly happened with Jessica Bishop?

That’s a really sensitive subject and I’m a little offended that you brought it up.

I just want you to have the chance to get your side of the story out there.

I’m sure that’s why.

Ok. Jessica Bishop is just that girl that you didn’t really know that well in high school but were still obsessed with in high school because she was just so fucking happy and galavanting around the school all the time and she honestly made you feel a little bit better about yourself.

Literally, I believe once a week, I would go on her Facebook and spend some time on it.

How much time?

Ten, fifteen minutes. See what she was up to, see who she was talking to, look at her new pics, see her new status about how much she loved life. And then one day I went and I couldn’t see anything. She unfriended me. So at first it was just an unfriend like, you can’t see all my pictures, blah blah blah. And then I went later and I could not see anything. I could only see her picture and "add as a friend". I got a full block.

And then I went to her Formspring--if you have a Formspring I’m gonna harass you. You’re asking for it. And I always ask her [why she defriended me], and she keeps trying to get me to tell her my name, get me to say "this is Willie." But I’m not gonna.

Do you think she knows it’s you?

Honestly, she’s a little dumb so probably not. She probably has absolutely no idea, to be totally honest, but I’m going to pretend that she does because I want to be offended.

Are you going to see Eclipse?

This is a question to ask Mikayla and Mikayla’a answer will define mine.

Mikayla won’t be in town. But what about me?

When does it come out?

Sometime in July.

Um….I don’t go to Twilight movies if I have to pay

[Looks at me. I shake my head]

So no.

You’re a bit of a loose cannon known for your epic facebook subversions, repeated threats to destroy ho hoops, desire to be roofied, and even lying about your supposed relationship to the actor Chuck Norris. Would you like to take this chance to explain yourself to the heartpinksky readers?

I love lying. I legitimately love lying. I think it’s so much fun. I was just telling Sarah the other day how little truth I told when I was in elementary school. I made up everything. I would lie about how many siblings I had, where I’d go on vacation, my parents names. One time I told my teacher my mom was pregnant and she wasn’t. I just like to see what the fuck I can get away with.

Do you ever think you’ve taken the lies too far?

[Laughing] Absolutely not! If someone says “too far,” I know I haven’t gone far enough.

So where are everyone’s parents in One Tree Hill?

You know, some places in the world there just aren’t parents. In Tree Hill, NC, that’s one of them.

Why do you try and push that show on everyone? Specifically on me.

[Laughing] It’s so bad.

Because I like being obnoxious.

So you like being obnoxious, you like to lie, and you got defriended on Facebook by the happiest girl in the world. What do you think that says about you as a person?

That I’m awesome.

[Pause]

No. People can’t handle me. I’m too much man for one world.

Could you please explain why I got demoted as your head bitch? What does Mikayla have that I don’t?

Did I demote you?

You changed my Facebook to say “I got demoted!!1!11!!!”

You must have done something.

Was it just another one of your famous Willie Norris lies?

No, I just felt like it, demoting you.

I see on Facebook that you like “This Girl Has An Interesting Way of Eating A Banana, Check It Out”

I can’t unlike that! I wanted to like the fact that someone liked that, I didn’t actually want to like the thing. But when I liked it, it liked that thing for me and now I went to the page and Facebook says its been reported as being abusive and it won’t let me get rid of it.

Did you at least get to see her eat the banana?

No! What do you think it is? The interesting way?

I think it’s probably her pretending to suck it like a dick.

Yeah.

But I hope that it would be something more interesting because that’s not a very interesting way to eat a banana.

What’s the plot of “Must Love Dogs”?

I’ve never seen it. I’m not joking.

Could you please guess the plot of Must Love Dogs.

This chick meets this guy. The guy comes over, doesn’t like the dog, bitch is like “Must love dogs.” Yeah, thank you.

That’s what happened right?

No….so wrong.

If there was an apolcalyptic scenario to occur here in the city à la 28 Days Later or Resident Evil, who do you think would survive out of your friends?

[long pause]

Out of my friends or people I know?

You can do people you know.

Ricky.

And why would Ricky beat us all?

I don’t know. I just feel like Ricky would just survive anything.

I feel like he would join forces.

Yeah

What’s it like being the only guy living with four girls? And do you sometimes feel as though you’re more of a parent than a roommate?

I feel like we all kind of—well, maybe not all, but at one time or another we all kind of play the parent. I mean honestly, I think it’s me a lot of the time, maybe not so visibly as it is Janelle some of the time. But like paying the bills and shit that people don’t see.

But no, it’s cool. I don’t mind. I kind of like it. And I kind of like feeling like a parent.

What do think it would be like if you had been Mikayla’s dad when she was growing up?

[Long pause]

I would have drowned her.

Do you think she would have learned how to read?

Wait, she doesn’t know how to read?

She didn’t learn until she was like, nine!

Oh yeah, fucking that Witch Waldorf shit. I would have taught the bitch how to read.

Before or after you drowned her?

[Chuckling] While.

If you worked at Seattle Grace what do you think your relationship to the other doctors would be?

Oh God. I would just want to be a ghost there.

I don’t even know how I could fit myself in there.

You’re the new heart surgeon.

[Throws head down on the table] I just love all of them so much.

Willie Discusses Grey's Anatomy from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

If Spaghetti Cat, Michael Buble, Hilary Duff and yourself were trapped on an island and you had to kill one, marry one, and just keep the third around for platonic company, what would you do?

Willie Plays the Island Game from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

(Willie discusses boobs)

Untitled from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

(Willie discusses Animal Planet)
Wille Discusses Animal Planet from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

And Willie, any final thoughts or goodbyes to the heartpinksky readers?

[Long pause]

Hi, Sarah!

Happy Early Birthday Willie!

So You Think You Know SYTYCD?

2010-06-04T13:50:00.004-04:00

Summer's here and that means one of my favorite shows (which does happen to be a reality show) is back on the air and surprisingly, the word "Jersey" is no where in the title. So You Think You Can Dance is another one of the talent competitions that was born out of the success of American Idol and while I have on-and-off always watched Idol, I kind of hate it. I just loathe the product placement and pretty much everything the judges say. The entire show is just a joke that seems stuck in time. No matter what they do to try and “freshen it up,” Idol just seems stale.

I'm always surprised to remember that SYTYCD springs from the same minds that created Idol when the reason I love the show so much is that it's actually the anti-Idol. The show is void of product placement and branding. They drink their water out of normal brand-free cups and there are no cheesy car commercials (which are tiresome even when I fast-forward over them). Plus, SYTYCD has such a modern feel. From the use of contemporary music (Boy, do they love Gaga) to slang (sometimes I just want to go all Regina George on Lil C and snap “Stop trying to make ‘buck’ happen! It’s not going to happen”) to dealing with real life issues like war, sickness, death, and racism, SYTYCD is firmly grounded in contemporary society.

Compared to Idol, which seems so self-indulgent and even vain, SYTYCD has an integrity that I haven't seen on any other reality show. The audition episodes aren't there to showcase and mock the delusional. Even when they show contestants who are, how shall we say this as gracefully as Nigel Lithgow, “not up to par” with the show's standards, they are treated with respect and given more constructive criticism than harsh and insulting metaphors. And even SYTYCD's versions of Simon and Paula (aka Nigel and Mary Murphy) are well-rounded and not just their to be cranky and crazy respectively. Though Mary is known for her high-pitched "hot tamale train" screams, even she can actually give informed critiques, unlike Paula who prefers to get drunk and just babble on until someone stops her.

One of the reasons the SYTYCD judges completely out-do Idol’s is that they all actually have a reason to be there! They're all dancers or choreographers and have been on the other side of the ordeal. They empathize with the contestants in a way people like Ellen DeGeneres just can’t understand. Plus, since they are all dancers themselves they actually know what they’re talking about (what an idea!). Since the show has such high standards for both their contestants and their judges, the show also has a level of professionalism and respectability that is incomparable to any other reality show.

It also helps that the point of SYTYCD isn’t really about gaining fame or mainstream success. Instead, contestants flock to the auditions to show off what they can do in hopes that the show will help them do more. SYTYCD is about testing your limits, learning and experiencing all kinds of dance that one otherwise might never have gotten the chance to do. Plus, unlike most of the contestants on Idol, the contestants on SYTYCD have to display their own personally artistry. (I say most for a reason because while I don't count just taking a rap song and performing it as an acoustic ballad as artistry, there have been exceptions. The most recent being my glamor diva, Adam Lambert.) Each SYTYCD contestant not only has to be an incredible dancer, but also has to be able to create their own breathtaking solos. Eliminations on SYTYCD rest more on the dancers solos while they “dance for their life” than the choreographed routines. This puts more responsibility on the dancer's own creativity and connection to dance, which is how a competition like this should be run.

I'm sorry if I sound preachy and am rambling. I want all you skeptics out there to give this show a chance. I've recently turned Sarah onto it, but I'm shooting for the whole world! It’s truly an amazing experience to watch these dancers grow each week and put everything they got on the stage night after night. Unlike other performance competitions, SYTYCD isn’t about trying to find the most talented contestant as much as it is about creating the most well-rounded contestant in an experiment that benefits all involved, from those who make it to the finals to those cut after the first round of choreography.

Plus, have I mentioned the surplus of hotties that usually sprinkle the SYTYCD cast? My heart still swells for Season 4 winner Joshua more than any other. I mean, look at how cute he is (and talented, but that comes second).

And did you also not just fall a little bit in love with Katee too? I can’t decide if I want to be her friend or just be her! This show has given me almost as many girl crushes as it has boy crushes. But no SYTYCD girl do I love more than the host Cat Deeley. She is the only Brit than can pull off hosting an American show without coming off as annoying. She’s charming and you can tell she actually cares about the contestants and isn’t just putting on a fake front (cough Ryan Seacrest cough). Plus, she wears some ridonkulous clothes! It's rare that I see someone else who loves glitter and sequins as much as me.

Why yes, that is a sequined tiger on her dress! Truly a girl after my own heart.

But more importantly than the fact that it’s full of top-grade hotties, SYTYCD just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's insanely inspirational by the way it features and embraces dancers who have often been told dancing just wasn't in the cards for them. I have seen incredible performances from dancers who would traditionally be considered too tall, too short, or too big to perform professionally along with dancers who are blind, deaf, and physically handicapped. I mean, it's been four seasons since we first saw Bryan Graynor and there he was last night performing again. For those of you not familiar with SYTYCD, Bryan suffers from scoliosis and auditioned in season three. Everyone was so moved by his audition that he was asked to perform at the finale.

It also moves me (an embarrassing amount, I might add) just to watch these people explore the potential of the human body. This show gives me more tears and chills than the Grey’s Anatomy season finale! These people truly love what they do and put everything out there for us to see. I could never be that brave (or that flexible). What these dancers are able to do and express with nothing more than their own bodies and some music constantly amazes me, especially that they do so on a basic cable reality show. SYTYCD brings something to mainstream America that isn't an easy sell. Just in the past day, my roommates (yes, it's plural now) kept chuckling and mocking the show as they caught snippets. A lot of people can't get over the fact that its a reality show and others just cant get over what they see as the "silly" content. And you know what I say to these people? You can have your opinions and are free to express them--just not while I'm watching my goddamn show.

I'm very protective of SYTYCD, even more so than Lost, in fact, and I'll argue to the death about how it's the greatest thing to happen to reality tv ever and a great addition to tv in general as well. But if you ever try to mock the show while I'm watching it and distract me from the awesomeness, I will kill you. So just wait until Mary gives her last squeal to begin your hating and then I will school you on SYTYCD and how wrong you are.

New Boyfriend: David Tennant

2010-05-15T00:43:00.002-04:00

I've been rabidly watching Doctor Who for the past month, which means I've also been rabidly falling in love with David Tennant. How has someone so cute and charming been off my radar for the past 20 years? Oh, and did I mention fucking awesome? Because he is fucking awesome.

On his "interactive" website (by that they just mean there are links. England might be 6 hours ahead, but I guess this site thinks they're about 20 years behind) under "Shop" they sell goddamn Goonies T-shirts so that you can "Get David's Look." (Heart!)

He also probably has the best Google Image search of all of my many boyfriends.

Exhibit A:

Now that's the way I like it! Well dressed, sassy, and g-a-y! I want to slobber all over him and that suit.

And then I run into a picture like this...

Not so sexy, but love him none the less.

I don't really know what's going on here and frankly, I don't really want to. I like to imagine he's not-so-slyly pointing at someone in the front row of the audience and mocking them. You really never know with him, because in addition to being totally adorbs, he's also hilarious.

I mean, COME ON! (Said in appropriate Gob Bluth tone).

If you didn't think this guy was the full package, that picture just proved it. If I played fucking Doctor Who I'd make sure all my business cards said Rev. Sadie Gennis, PhD and I'd say stuff like his shirt all the freaking time.

And have I mentioned how good my classic "(insert celebrity name) gay" search was for him?

True. Fucking. Love.

Little Dick Dances

2010-04-06T18:02:00.002-04:00

My last post about The Cheetah Girls reminded my that one of my boyfriends, Ryan Hansen/Dick Cassablancas, was in it as a member of the boy band Boys N Motion named J.J.J. (the third J is silent).

This was the first time I fell in love with Ryan and it's no wonder why. He had some mad skills on the dance floor. Let's just watch Ryan Hansen dance for a bit.

Grrrowl Power

2010-04-06T17:46:00.002-04:00

Anyone who know me knows I love The Cheetah Girls (especially my baby Raven. Suuup gurrrrl!). Junior year of high school my buddies and I even dressed up as them for spirit week.

Needless to say, we were a hit.

Each of us had a character. I was Raven/Galleria (obviously). Katie was Do. Zoe was Aqua. And my friend Justin was an honorary Chanel.

Needless to says that picture is a complete misrepresentation of how he felt about being included.

I love The Cheetah Girls a little too much. They took up a good amount of my life just a few years ago, but since the band broke up and my all-time favorite television show (That's So Raven) ended, I've really missed them. So let's see where these Cheetalicious chicks are now.

Do/Sabrina Bryan

Sassy choreographer Dorinda hasn't really done anything outside of The Cheetah Girls. Maybe it's because she's the fucking pits.

Though, she was in a direct to DVD movie entitled Mostly Ghostly whose tagline was "Who Let the Ghosts Out?" Kind of awesome. Plus, it's based on an R.L. Stine novel AND Ali Lohan is it.

Based on these last pieces of evidence, maybe Do isn't the pits so much after all.

Then again, her and Aqua are apparently developing a talk show that is like The View for young people. That's like when Stephen Hawking said he was writing a children's book that was Harry Potter without the magic.

She also has a really awkward dance workout called Byou.

Chanel/Adrienne Bailon

My lady love Chuchi remained fairly constant in my life outside of Cheetah Girl fame until recently. This was due to her relationship with Rob Kardashian which was chronicled on the glorious Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

Even though the two were sooo in love (they got tattoos of each other's names) they have now broken up, which means she's no longer on The Kardashians AND they both feel like idiots.

Apparently she also had an album that came out, released naked photos of herself, and does MTV afternoon programming. No one cares. I don't either. I only care about her in cheetah print or macking on Rob.

RIP Adriobert!

Aqua/Kiely Williams

Kiely will always be the quirky, tutu wearing, hot sauce loving Cheetah Girl to me. Maybe that's why she's trying so hard to change her image. In addition to doing really stupid movies where she plays characters named "Kandi Kane" or the sequel to Stomp the Yard (at least she could have done the Step Up series or maybe even something like You Got Served...Again!), Kiely has continued to make music, if you can call it that. I think her latest video is a pretty solid representation of what has happened to her since she forgot about Grrrowl Power. It's also a little disturbing.

And of course, saving the best for last....

Gabriella/Raven

Raven hasn't really done much (unfortunately) since her early departure from The Cheetah Girls. She did some movies I never saw, made some music I never listened too, etc. Though, she is set to star in an ABC Family movie called Revenge of the Bridesmaids

That's more like it!

She also has a YouTube channel called Raven Symone Presents where she shows you things like how to bling out your pens and pencils.

Though, nothing compares to the late and great That's So Raven. Proof below.

Web Series: Patrick Duffy & the Crab

2010-03-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

There are a lot of great web series out there that frankly, you should know about. I'm going to help. I'm not going to write about Pot Psychology or Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis because they're awesomeness is so obvious, it's beyond words. Plus, I'm lazy and those don't really interest me to blog about. You should just go and watch those yourself.

Now, Previously on Point Dume is poised to become one of my top favorite web series (I'll get to writing about that once there are more episode) but it definitely has tough competition from Patrick Duffy & the Crab.

The show is pretty self-explanatory. It's just Patrick Duffy hanging out with a puppet crab.

They do everything real couples do.

Talk about American Idol:

Dare each other to eat dimes:

And even talk about threesomes:

It's so absurd and kind of awkward (my favorite combination). I think my favorite part is the lack of explanation or reason and the nonchalance that Patrick Duffy approaches his relationship with this crab.

Needless to say, I'm obsessed.

Spring Break: There Were Trees Involved

2010-03-21T23:25:00.000-04:00

This bus ride is giving me an ample amount of free time which I have decided to fill with detailing my spring break in detail. The first part of my spring break adventures is right here in case you want a refresher. If not, do continue reading.

Alexandra is a "nature person". It's gross, I know. She likes biking and hiking and all that mess. She even repeatedly woke up early to excercise! I preferred to sleep in or watch ABC Family in my pjs. Sometimes I did humor her though and allowed her to take me on excursions into the outside world. Our last day, Alexandra decided to pack a picnic and take me on a hike. We got lost. I was not happy. She thought it was hysterical.

Lost in the Woods from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.
Eventually we did find the field she was looking for and it turned out to be a very nice dinner. Took some pictures, rolled around, and messed with Alexandra.

Spring Break with Alexandra from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

While it was nice to be out of the cement plastered city, most of the time we were out and about I just didn't know what to do with nature. It was all alive but stationary and brown and green and stuff. What do you do with that?

Alexandra tried to make me less awkward by instructing me to "jump in the air!" but that just made it worse. Air-jump pics and I do not get along. They just expose my awkwardness and enhance it exponentially. Examples A, B, C, and the most recent addition, D:

And keeping with the theme of forcing me to do things I don't like, Alexandra even took me on a night-nic to some railroad tracks off a highway by some water. This would have been fine and all if her mom hadn't just told us a story of a midget serial killer who walked along the rails murdering everyone he encountered. I got too scared after about five seconds and made us move to a rock closer to the road.

So while nature really isn't my thing, I did have a really great time and will miss the trees, grass, stars, etc once I'm back in the city. I was planning on trying to explore the little nature escapes the city does have by going to a bunch of parks and the waterfront this week, but the weather is supposed to be pretty foul. Oh well! I'm a week behind on TV anyways. Now I won't have that pesty fresh air to distract me from The Good Wife.

Spring Break: The Basics

2010-03-21T22:05:00.000-04:00

It's hard for me to realize that I have to get back to real life tomorrow. I've been on spring break for the past week living in the magical dream world of Hanover with Alexandra. The worst part is I cant just ease back into the realm of school and responsibilities. We have a huge mid-term exam tomorrow, one which I'm not even close to done studying for. That's what I get to look forward to the second I deboard the bus I'm currently on (which is unfortunately not the marvelous Dartmouth Coach that we took last week which had free snacks, drinks, and wifi).

The past week was great though. I spent a little over a straight week with Xandra and we didn't bicker or kill each other. Though, just a few minutes ago was the closest we got to when I realized Alexandra had deleted a precious pic from my camera. If you know me, then you should know you do not fuck with my camera. If you ask me to not put a picture up, I won't. But I won't delete it. The problem was quickly solved through by a little game of Jinj-a-leen, a game the wonderful Renzo's taught me. Basically, you pretend your hand is a phone and you go "Jinj-a-leen! Jing-a-leen!" until the other person answers the "phone." You then proceed to suggest something bad or confrong them on something bad they did. The perp then responds with all the reasons that it was a bad idea. It's kind of an ingenious game. I'm a little bit obsessed.

Other than these rousing moments of Jinj-a-leen, Alexandra and I did many other excited things in New Hampshire. Well, maybe not exciting according to traditional standards. We were sober the whole time (excusing half of a way too old Miller, alcohol did not even touch my lips). From Friday until Tuesday our days mainly consisted of hanging out with Alexandra's parents and lounging around. Even once with her parents had left for Arizona we still spent a large majority of our time hanging our with other people's parents (Hanover is this weird family-oriented zone. It's kind of strange). While visiting Xandra's ex-boyfriend's parents I was even shown my first sugar house. I assume you, like I only a few days ago, have no fucking clue what a sugar house is. It's where you make maple syrup and is actually pretty sweet (no pun intended). There were some batshit crazy kids there and I sucked syrup straight from a tube stuck in a tree before downing a glass of the finished product. Fun syrup fact: It takes 40 gallons just to make one gallon of the ready to pour syrup.

And yes, it was that kind of spring break: the kind where I enlighten you with fun facts about syrup.

Even though St. Patrick's Day landed over our vacation we didn't go out partying or do anything remotely wild. We went to CVS with a five dollar limit to find the stupidest things before going back to her crib and working our way through an entire QuizFest magazine. The results actually kind of scared us with their accuracy. Unfortunately tough, we never did make it to playing the greatest game ever invented.

Alexandra and I also spent a huge portion of our time on vacation wearing various pairs of glasses. Don't ask, there really was no reason.

It is also currently one of my favorite seasons. No, not spring. It's prom season!

And one way that you can tell when you've found a good friend is when they, with no warning, come out of a room wrapped in scarves wrapped in scarves and draped in Native American necklaces and you don't ask for an explanation. You just poof up your hair, glitterize your face, and slap on some temp tattoos.

One of the funniest parts of the trip was comparing Alexandra and I's eating habits. If I may quote the girl, "I only need three things in my life: sex, the sun, and homemade potato salad." And boy, did that girl eat potato salad.

I preferred the brownies and coconut cake with raspberry sauce (not as much as Xandra's mom though. She freaked out when her husband sneakily hid the cake from her one night. In his defense though, we had already had dessert at a family friend's house just fifteen minutes before).

So pretty much, I spent an entire week in Star's Hollow and loved it. I know you're jealous.

Childish Gambino: Geek Your Whole Face Out

2010-03-13T11:07:00.004-05:00

Man, I'm just all about funny rappers lately. First Mark Turns, now Childish Gambino. Luckily, Don Glover actually knows he's hilarious and uses it.

And if you're sitting there thinking "Don Glover...why do I know that name?" it's probably because you know him from the NBC show Community or more likely, you know him as my #1 boyfriend.

We met last fall at one of his comedy shows in Greenpoint. So far, that's as far as our relationship has gone. But my powers of Creep and own personal awesomeness will one day get me a date, if not at least a Neil Patrick Harris point pic.

Aren't we such a gorgeous couple?

As part of my full-on love-stalk, I figured I should probably check out his music. I downloaded all of his shit a couple days ago and I'm kind of obsessed now. It's the perfect walking around NYC music, as well as a great bus ride soundtrack (a feature which I'm taking advantage of I type--Go Hanover, NH!)

He raps over some really great songs (Yeasayer's "Sunrise" anyone?) and has all the hilarious-stupid lyrics that I love: "Yes, my dick will make that hoe tell, like a bellboy" and my favorite, "Even if she's so angel that she's on Bones."

Plus, there's just that hint of gay that I love in a boy.

I mean, look at that sass! We're meant to be.

Sometimes when he's rapping it kind of sounds like he has a monster head cold, but I kind of love it. It just emphasizes his geekiness, which I find absolutely adorable. I want to bring him orange juice and lozenges then curl up with TV. It'd be a perfect day.

I'm such a creep. If I ever did meet him again he'd probably get the major heebs and look at me just like this:

"Oh, you're that girl who tweeted that the last time we met was

the story of how you're going to tell your children

that you met their dad...Hi, again...."

Until then, I'll just have to satisfy myself with his music. He has a couple dozen songs, so I'll just leave you with my picks:

Bitch Look At Me Now (Two Weeks)

Grind

Turd in the Over (Diplomat's Son)

I Can Hear Your Feet (Sunrise)

New Prince (Crown on the Ground)

I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer)

Hollerin feat. Dean

Extraordinary

Sunshine feat. Dean

Hawk Jones feat. Dree Drei

New York Pity

My Girls (My Girls)

It's Oh So Kawaii-ite

2010-03-09T23:06:00.001-05:00

Did you get that pun in the title? The mix of the Japanese word for cute with the Bjork song "It's Oh So Quiet"? GET IT?!? Well, actually you can't really get it until you read on and learn what this post is about, so please continue...

I have been looking extra asian recently. It started around my birthday and I just figured this was God's present to me for the start of this new decade. But now I realize that the All-Mighty's plan was far more complex than just that. He stepped his game up to a whole other level yesterday.

You see, had you been following my tweets from last night you may have noticed this one:

Yes, you read that right. Asian girl red. I was just trying to retint my hair a similar auburn shade to the one I did in January, but oh no! That is not at all what happened.

If you don't know what AGR is, then you must be blind or have never met a hip asian in your life. Though it was surprisingly hard to find pictures of it on the interweb. I did try my best though.

And now, compare those to me. In fact, why don't we do a nice side-by-side.

Yuuup. That happened.

The best/worst part about this whole accidental AGR situation is the roots. Oh, good lord, the roots!

You see on my roots, my hair is not Asian girl red--it's just red! You can't tell that bad unless it's under direct light and it doesn't even show up that well in pictures, but let's take a look now, shall we?

Yeaaaahh......that's cool, I guess.

I actually really find this whole situation kind of hysterical. Today at school people were complimenting the new 'do and I was just like "THANKS! It was a totaly accident-disaster. Glad to know I can work it though!" So I'm just going to keep it and let it fade out, allowing my hair dyeing days to disappear into the past.

So that's what's going on with my hair lately. Oh, and speaking of, there was also some fabulous wig action for my birthday a few weeks ago. It was oddly the second year in a row that I donned a blonde wig for my bday too.

I'm very strange sometimes.

2010 2009

Things like that is why I really believe I would have been a much better gay man than I am a straight women. I mean, hell! I'm already attracted to gay face so hard and live for the three G's: Glitter, Gay face, Gossip (I really wish there was a "G" word for pizza because that sooo would have been the third).

I feel like I got really off topic here. So let's just recap. In the past three months my hair has gone through the following transition:

And you got a few hints at how absurdly flamboyant I am. Great.

Hopefully I'll have time for a real blog post in the upcoming week because I won't be bogged down with that waste of time called "classes."

SPRING BREAK 09 BABY! HANOVER HERE I COME!

(And remember kids, Forever Slutty, Forever 09)

Mark Turns: Truly & Always a Joy

2010-03-04T19:41:00.004-05:00

Meet Mark Turns. Back home in Urbana, Turns is somewhat of a celebrity. He is a poet and an artist. And totally ridiculous. You put on some MT at a party and that shit gets bumpin! Or at least, my friends and I jam out and everyone else looks around in confusion.

There’s no point in reviewing just one Mark Turns album. In fact, it’s almost irrelevant to single out any one song of his. That’s because there is not one song on any of his dozens of albums that is not based off the same beat and cadence as all the rest. Normally, this would cause Mark Turns’ collected work to become boring and repetitive. But on the contrary, listening to Turns’ songs is one of the most engaging and stimulating musical experiences I’ve had since I tried to learn the lyrics of the rap in LFO's "West Side Story" by ear.

Turns is able to stave off redundancy by having the most absolutely asinine lyrics I have ever heard (and my summer jam was “Patron Tequila” by the Paradiso Girls). The lyrics are so absurd that listening to a Mark Turns song is a constant surprise. Every line is like Christmas morning. Or better yet, every line is like waking up Christmas morning and seeing a high-speed car chase on TV as Andy Dick tries to outrun the NYPD in an old Pinto on half a tank of gas. You know it’s not going to end well, but you’re on the edge of your seat in disbelief to know what happens next. Or in Turns’ case, hear what happens next.

There’s a level of stupidity that’s acceptable in society (think T-Pain or Nelly). Then there’s the level that is almost too painful to hear (LMFAO anyone?). But then--then there’s the level that has sunk so low on the stupidity charts it is has somehow managed to find itself now at the top, surrounded by its friends and comrades “Just A Friend” and pretty much anything Lil Wayne has ever put out. Mark Turns is the Weekend at Bernie’s of music: so stupid and unbelievable that one can’t help but love it. The only difference between the two is that Bernie’s had no illusions as to what it was. Mark Turns, on the other hand, takes himself very seriously as a poet and artist. It's fantastic!

My Bffer Katie recently had the opportunity to interview Mr. Turns' (I'll be linking to the video as soon as it's up). The thing I was most thrilled/shocked to learn was that Mark Turns is not the only person who thinks of Mark Turns is a genius. Apparently, he has someone else do his "beat(s)." (Seriously? It's one beat. Just over and over again. When it does change, it just sounds like premade songs on a fucking electric keyboard. How do two people out in the world think that's a good idea?). He also has someone else in charge of his website: www.lilgoat.com (Goat is not--as I had guessed--his middle name, unfortunately. It is in fact, his "power animal." Fact). Katie also spoke to someone else that helps to "promote" Turns, who started the conversation off with "The first time you heard Mark, didn't he just blow you away?"

What are these people on?!?! Mark Turns blew me away the same way Jersey Shore did. I guess I need to try and explain to you his utter ridiculousness for a second so you can understand my awe.

Let's take, for example, Turns’ other, none musical, productions. He has three audio tributes to the film Bullitt, along with seventeen poetry tributes. He's also done similar things for Starsky and Hutch and Vanishing Point. It can be hard to read too many of these tributes at a time (especially as I’ve never seen any of those films), but taken in small doses all prove to be ample ways to waste time and get a laugh. On the incredible lilgoat.com, he has many additional other topics under which he posts his poetry and musings from the past couple decades. Some of these include the Religion Corner:

“Wisdom, use anything you want to be gentle or mild/softener.. the rinse-cycle has told and will tell/the truth that you must accept and deal with trial,/one way or the other to be the rules..."

No Oppression/Gossip:

“Go sit down in rainbows wonder when inside, you use the fact of being the same race as an undercover reason to try and make it work”

And of course Love, Blues, etc:

“Don't get me wrong! I think that you are a drop-dead, beautiful woman with a loving-heart that doesn't come any better.../I can feel your warmth but/before you're any of that,/you're a human-being first”

Then, there's also this. His "Expression of Monday."
Turns has also put out multiple children’s albums and I see these are his redeeming pieces. It is here that his simplicity thrives the most. The monotone Turns cadence allows for any child to easily sing along to one of Turns’ family friendly songs without having to deal with any of that tricky “melody” stuff. Talk along with Turns (as what he does cannot really be classified as either singing or rapping) as he asks the important questions like “Where are my colors?” and takes kids on a wonderful animal adventure in “Zoo Time.”

The best part about all these is that Mark Turns has each and every single poem and song copyrighted, a hobby which dates back all the way to 1981. With almost thirty albums it makes sense that Mark Turns would look into protecting his life work. Sadly, I doubt there are many people interested in infringing on those copyright laws.

Overall, while Mark Turns might not produce Grammy Award winning music (let’s just face it, he doesn’t even deserve a Razzie), his website is one of the most entertaining sites I have ever encountered. Plus, most of his music is on iTunes, making it easy to sample all of the greatest Turns tracks (you do judge a song by its title. Don’t forget).

I’ll leave you with my suggestions of the Essential Mark Turns Songs which you must check out before 2012 when the world ends.
-Zoo Time
-Night-Time Is For Sleep
-Where Are My Colors
-Lovin A Woman
-Truly & Always a Lady
-It's Your Lady
-The Woman That I Want You To Be
-I'm Always Thinking of You
-It's About You
-Sweet Lovin' Lady
-Loving You Deeply and Being Satisfied, Pt. 2 (don't forget-woman AND human being).
-Having You Here
-Have the Thoughts But Go Slow
-It Doesn't Matter What The Clock Says

I really can't even do this anymore. They're all gold. It's too hard to choose. Though, I can't remember the names of my two favorite songs. It's kind of killing me. I hope you enjoy Mark "Goat" Turns as much as I do.

Go, Johnny, Go

2010-02-17T21:34:00.008-05:00

This is my quickly thrown together post about my boyfriend of boyfriends: Johnny Weir.
Now, I know I'm biased, but I truly do believe Johnny was underscored at the Olympics on Thursday. My baby finished in sixth place under Lambiel! While that man is an incredible skater, he did not bring it to the ice that night. Johnny, on the other hand, killed! Absolutely slayed! He deserved at fourth or at least fifth. Obviously, I was rooting for third, but that was in my wildest dreams. But you know what? Johnny's happy and proud of him performance and so I'm just going to be happy for him because we're in love.

And there are so many reasons why I love him. He's sassy, he's funny, he puts on a blonde wig and glasses then sits in a bubble bath pretending to be a foreign journalist interviewing his best friend/roommate. He's just incredible.

The best part about Johnny Weir is that in addition to being such an enigmatic person, he is also one of the world's most talented skaters. It still astounds me that he didn't start skating until he was twelve and did an axel jump the first week on skates after just watching people do it on tv. How. Fucking. Bad. Ass!!!!!!

If you are unfamiliar with Johnny, I highly recommend checking out his website--specifically the section entitled "favorites." If you don't want to go through all of that, I'll give you some of the highlights here.

Favorites is separated into many categories. There are the classic staples such as musical artists, books, films, color, etc.

And then it gets weird.

Ever want to know Johnny's favorite airlines? Animals? Collectibles? Furs? Jeans? Spas? He's pretty much got it all covered. There's even an old section for "Hot Things For Fall 2009." I really wish he'd update it for Summer 2010 because how else will I know what the best "Object of Desire" is?

Not surprisingly, Johnny's musical favorites are all dominated by Lady Gaga, other AT40 artists and a bunch of Russian artists I don't know.

His favorite female actresses are also a personal favorite of mine:
Cate Blanchett, Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, Meryl Steep, Parker Posey, Cloe Sevigny, & Blythe Danner

Very telling, don't you think, but I think he forgot Bernadette Peters and the Swinton...

Also, one of Johnny's favorite weathers is "full moons." Though it's not quite a real 'weather', I looove it.

Plus, I once dined at Balthazar--one of Johnny's favorite restaurants. It's like we're soulmates!

The best part about Johnny's favorites page is by far the quotes, for this simple reason: He has five quotes listed. Two from Tolstoy, one from Aleksander Pushkin, and two from Christina Aguilera. How awesome is that? (Answer: So awesome you can't put it into words.)

I know this post is all over the place. I just get really flustered when it comes to JG. Here's a little video I found of baby Johnny skating to *Nsync to make up for the crap that was this post.

Or you could just watch this one again and again.

LIES LIES LIES! Just watch this one. If Plushenko had skated more like this last night, he would have taken gold home for sure and beaten that skating robot, Evan Lysacek.

Also, I realized Evan is just like all those guys in cliche rom-coms. He needs to be on a cross-country road trip with a free spirit so that he can learn to loosen up and enjoy life and his companion could learn about responsibility. Or just lock him and Johnny in a room for a week. I think Evan's head would explode and we wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

Heart of Ice

2010-02-16T20:29:00.004-05:00

I've been planning a big Johnny Weir post but have yet to get around to it, unfortunately. Hopefully I'll have one ready for when he takes home an Olympic medal on Thursday.

I do have to do one quick update on another male figure skater, though. Meet Florent Amodio.
I'm in love. He's 19, Brazilian, but was adopted by a French couple after he was abandoned when he was four. He's overcame a knee-disease only to recuperate and make it to the Olympics, stealing my heart. But most importantly, he brought us this:

And this (just skip to the part where he takes his jacket off):

You all already know how I feel about hilarious, sassy, and modern ice skating routines! And now that Johnny's leaving the ice I need another figure skater to dominate my heart. There's not a doubt in my mind that I've found him. Love you, Florent! Can't wait to marry you and have adorable triple-axeling, ice-dancing babies.

Get LOST, Losers

2010-02-10T12:31:00.003-05:00

When it comes to my friends, I rarely get mad. I get annoyed and frustrated and need to vent sometimes, but mad? Not really. I can't remember the last time I came close to yelling at a friend of mine, not that last night was a serious fight. I was just incredibly, incredibly annoyed to the point of anger. You see, what had happen'd was--

We were all over at The Girls apartment (a misleading name seeing as one of the roommates is a boy named Willie) and since it was a Tuesday I mentioned how stoked I was about getting home and watching LOST on my DVR. My friend had just recently started watching the show and I asked her how far she was. She said she was on season two but had watched part of the new premier.

What. The. Fuck.

I was shocked. She then went on to exclaim that, to her surprise, she couldn't follow it! And that even the time switches were different. I didn't even know how to respond at first. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people skip around on tv shows that aren't floopy sitcoms (ex: Friends, Seinfeld, etc--though, I might add, How I Met Your Mother is a sitcom that you do need to watch in order. I made the mistake of treating it like King of Queens for a month. Long story short: I made a huge mistake).

This is also my friend who started watching Dollhouse at the second season premier and "couldn't get into it." DUH! History within in a show is so important. I really shouldn't have been surprised when she did this latest flub. What really upset me is that she thought she could jump four seasons ahead in LOST and still comprehend and enjoy it. Clearly, this girl is not getting what she should out of the show. LOST is a mental masterpiece. It's an incredible puzzle and mystery and if you don't understand that within a single episode the entire series can change directions one hundred times over. To treat LOST like any other show is insulting and disrespectful to TV and Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and me and everyone else who loves this show. It's like thinking you know better than the writers. If they wanted you to have the information from season six in season two, they would have given it to you earlier.

My other friend went to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant for restaurant week and ordered duck. There was a lot of fat on it and she considered cutting it off, but then she thought to herself, "If this is how Gordon wants it, this is how I'll eat it. He knows best." That is the exact same mindset and respect with which you need to treat LOST and other high-caliber tv shows and fuck anyone who says different.

Though, not actually fuck my friend because I love her and she really is awesome.

New Years Update

2010-02-01T21:30:00.007-05:00

So I know I've kind of dropped the ball this year with the whole blogging thing. Joonbug usually blogs me out during the week and I'm still kind of catching up on sleep from winter break. I really promise that I will start updating more and speaking of updates, here's where I stand on my 2010 To Do List thus far.

In the first month of the year I have accomplished not one, but two of my goals. First off, dye my hair. No longer will people tell me I have black hair (it was brown, for your information). Now, I am a verrry dark brown auburn and I am loving it. I think I'm going to keep dying it, at least until I go home for the summer. Here's a nice little side-by-side of the before and after so you can marvel at the beauty.
Next off, Kelly and I finally got cable. And not just basic cable--we have 150 channels in two rooms PLUS two dvrs all for $35 a month. It is incredible and I'm kind of obsessed. And now that I can watch TV on an actual TV I think I'll blog more since it will allow me easier multi-tasking.

I think the most important thing that has come from all of this is my re-newed love for Johnny Weir. I have been searching for Be Good Johnny Weir online since it's debut and hadn't been able to find it anywhere. Now, I get Sundance Channel which means I have a season pass to the show and am going to avoid deleted episodes--at. all. costs. It's the new Hey Paula!
I really wish that I was more awake so that I could devote more time and effort to my love of Johnny Weir and of course, my other new love, my beta fish, Lucille. Yes, you've heard that right. Kelly and I got two beta fish, Buster and Lucille. Aren't we funny? We're kind of obsessed and are considering becoming "fish people."

Oh, that also reminds me--this year hasn't all been honkey-dorey so far. I am officially cursed. Do not hang around me at the semester beginning/end. The weekend fall semester started, I was roofied. The weekend it ended, my friend passed away. And now, the weekend this semester started, Nina and I decided to leave my cozy apartment and head over to hers (about a five minute walk) at about midnight because all of our friends were there. I grab my wallet in case I decided to buy a beer outside her apartment and then go back to grab my camera because it was the last night of break and who knew what hilarious antics might occcur, right?

Nina and I get about one block outside my apartment when a man pulls a gun on us and takes both of our purses and my cell phone. It was terrifying and horrible and just terrifying inconvenient.
I lost everything--my debit card, my new metrocard, my lisence, my fake ID, my student ID, my camera, my keys, and my Aquafor. What. The. Fuck. We had to get our locks changed and all this bullshit. I'm over it.

So yeah, that was January in a nutshell. I really will try to be better at this blogging stuff more for the rest of the year. I mean, Sadie Gaga is coming up, so that should be pretty fabulous.

Side-by-Side-by-Side-by-Side

2010-01-23T21:40:00.008-05:00

Sorry I've been so MIA from the blog lately. I have some things I want to write about, but currently I'm watching Roswell with Nina and you kids already know how I feel about that show.

To tide you over until then, I'll leave you with one more Roswell side-by-side along with a bonus one to make up for lost time.

So I have a problem where I just think of Michael Douglas and Martin Sheen as one person. I can't distinguish which one was in what or who fathered Emilio Esteve, the Mighty Duck Man, I swear to God! And so I looked up pictures of them tonight and realized it's because THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!

Their stunning similarities make me feel OK about not being able to tell them apart in my mind.

And now for one more side-by-side until I retire the blog for the night.

Michael Guerin aka Brendan Fehr IS Ryan Cabrera, but less lame. Well, I can't really call R.C. lame. I did love his stint on the Ashlee Simpson show and have an entire album of his on my iTunes (which I listen to fairly regularly). But the hair! That fucking hair. Whenever I look at either of them all I see is this:

They both need to never go back to that goddamned Honeycomb monster mascot hair ever again and then we'll be all good.

Peace out for now.

XOXO,

Gossip Gennis

2010: Let's Get Serious

2010-01-01T11:42:00.009-05:00

2009 is over. I don't think anyone's really upset about it. 2009 was not the greatest year. I ended up being kicked out of my dad's house (again), I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, my friend died. It kind of sucked.

All in all, the bad pretty much outweighed the good but I'm trying my best to stay positive. 2009 was also the year that I got my first apartment, the year I got closer to my New York friends, the year I went to Sweden, the year of Get Slutty 09, and the year I began to really appreciate my friends back home in a way I haven't in a long time. No matter how sad this break has been I have definitely found a new love and passion for all the U-Town Killers in my life. They are just sweet and goofy in a way people in New York just aren't. Part of me doesn't really want to go back to the city and just stay in the Midwest. I definitely fit in better here and it's great how close everyone is (location-wise and friendship-wise). Plus, my music selection is much more tolerated.

I think the way I rang in this new year is going to be very reflective of the way this year is going to play out. Much less blackout ridiculousness and much more just about being with people I actually care about, not some huge party full of strangers. Last night me and three of my best friends from high school plus one of their boyfriends just sat around my friend's apartment drinking gin & tonics (new favorite) and watching shit like Bridezillas and dancing. Oh, and

eating. Boy, did we eat. Cheese fries, chicken nugs, french fries, grilled cheese. All in the span of about half an hour. Then we fell asleep. It was nice. There was no stress, no drama, no annoyance. Just being with people I loved. We didn't even get really drunk at all, which might surprise you after watching this video but this is just what we do.

New Years Eve 2010: The Dance from Sadie Gennis on Vimeo.

Well, actually this is much less weird that what we normally do.

Now, I never follow New Year's Resolutions. I don't have the willpower. What I do have though is a love of a good mission so this year I made myself a To Do List. Most of these things are to be done partnered with my wonderful roommate Kelly but there are a few that are solo acts. So here goes. Let's try to make 2010 just a little bit better than 2009.

The Great List of 2010:

-Go to Butter (Kelly and I are huge fans of Gossip Girl and on season one these hos were all about Butter so of course we have to go and act like idiots there the entire night calling each other by our GG names--I'm Eric btw)

-Appetizer Bar Crawl (Question: What's better than getting free food with your drink? Answer: Nothing. Kelly and I are planning a bar crawl that takes us wherever there are free appetizer or free buffet specials with your drink purchase. It shall be epic.)

-Go to the Times Square Olive Garden (Always the epitome of class, Kelly and I have dreamed of going to the Times Square Olive Garden since we became friends. The reasons are pretty self explanatory.)

-Go to Coney Island (I don't even really know what is actually at Coney Island but I want to go. I feel like it's just something you need to do at least once living in New York.)

-Go to more of our neighborhood bars. Specifically the Brooklyn Country Club and Ontario (Kelly and I really need to stay in our apartment less and wear bras more, but we're lazy so I feel like if we just go to bars within about 5 minutes of our house we'll be more motivated to move. We've heard the BCC is really fun and I just want to go to Ontario to do some Let's Go To The Mall karaoke.

-Go on a blind date/date with someone we met online (Last year Kelly and I set up Crazy Blind Date accounts when we were bored and put horrible pictures and things like "Interests: Talking about robots, being sassy." Needless to say, we got zero dates. But now, we actually want to do it because we're curious and love a good hilarious and awkward adventure. Of course now CBD won't let us set up new accounts, but once we figure that out this is so on!

-Get a real pair of shoes (I'm almost 20 years old and except for a few pairs of heels and my Puma's all of my shoes have cost under $30 are are falling apart. I state now that 2010 will be the year that I get a pair of flats and/or boots that last me more than a year. So say we all.)

-Go to Mars 2112 (This one is pretty much just the same reasons as the Times Square Olive Garden except with a little more of this:

-Get cable (Jersey Shore. Need I say more?)

-Get a new voicemail (PSYCH!!! You people are stuck with Toxic until all eternity. I'm sure after four years you're probably just used to it now anyways.)

-Participate in The Great American Challenge (Teams of four race to consume a 30 pack of beer, an eighth of weed, a large pizza, and finish a puzzle. I already have my team and we are so going to dominate.)

-Be a TV extra (Watch SVU and 30 Rock very carefully this year. Kelly and I will make it on.)

-Day drunk (Kelly and I are going to be a good mix of this:

And this:

-Weekend at Bernie’s 2 (I've had a little Die Hard syndrome with WaB's. I am so obsessed with the series yet have never seen the sequel because every time I want to I just end up watching the first one again. I finally saw the other Die Hard's last year so this year shall be the year for Bernie Lomax part deux. I mean, whenever music plays his dead body walks/dances towards buried treasure! It sounds too good to be true!)

-Get a job (Let me clarify that one: Get a job that pays! I hate being dependent on my parents so let's all just pray that this semester will be the one that I finally make some money of my own.)

-Dye my hair (I'm bored with everything. I can't get another tattoo or more piercings because I just don't really want any more. I'm also growing out my hair so I can't cut it yet. That just leaves dyeing it. Well, tinting it. I'm thinking about going for the Lily Aldrin season three.)

So wish me luck. I have 12 months to complete those tasks. Hopefully those will help making 2010 an improvement over last year. Happy New Year!

Tis the Season

2009-12-18T13:39:00.004-05:00

I flew home last night a few days early because of something I'm really not ready to blog about yet, but I do want to share just a quick few quotes from the first leg of my plane journey last night which really did cheer me up a little.

So let's set the scene: A crowded plane parked on the runway. There are 27 rows of people in front of me taking their time on exiting. The flight crew thought this would be a prime time to blaaaaaast the heat so that everyone immediately begins sweating balls. Pretty much, it was a horrible situation. Then the woman behind me starts talking to her friend.

"Aw shit girl, I'm trying to get off this plane but it is taking for-evvver. Everyone be taking their sweet time getting of this shit. You'd think they'd want to get off the damn plane. And me! I'm all the way at the back of the plane like I'm Rosa Parks!"

That's when me and the guy next to me stopped everything and starting taking this evesdropping game way more seriously. We knew it would be good.

"So I'm going home Sunday and then I'm getting saved on Monday, so that means this weekend we have to paaaarrtaaaaayyyy!"

Here, I got a little confused. I thought, "There has to be another meaning of 'saved,' " but lo and behold...

"Uh uh, girl. God forgives all sinners so we can seriously paaaartaaayyy."

I wish I remembered more of her ridiculous soundbites. I just love this woman and am truly thankful for her. She even made me forget for a few minutes that I hadn't showered in four days, had no make-up on except the leftover smears from wear my mascara and previously been pre-tears, was wearing maroon sweatpants, a mismatching and oversized maroon zip up, a turquoise cheetah dress, and Fuggs. Pretty much, I was classy as always.

I'd also like to quickly thank all my friends who are being super amazing too right now. Kelly, for changing my flight and packing me up and just doing everything I couldn't do yesterday. Sarah, for picking me up right now and driving me into Urbana. And Bri, for taking me out to lunch.

Oh, and of course my Mom for picking me up in Bloomington last night at 11pm even though she had school this morning. I love you all and I am happy to be home, even if it is under such unfortunate circumstances.

Top of the Decade: The Music Edition

2009-12-14T18:57:00.004-05:00

If you know me at all, than you know I looove to classify and categorize. People who aren't organized literally blow my mind. I see an messy desktop on a computer and it actually hurts me, like physically hurts me, not to set in place a good folder system. It just makes life so much easier! Plus, it's fun. For me at least. My point is, as the decade is coming to a close people like me can't help but come up with a list of the Top So-And-So of the Decade so instead of doing my paper like I should, I did this instead.

Top Solo Debut: Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake

Runner-Up: Crazy in Love by Beyoncé

Top Song You Will Never Ever Get Sick Of: Suga Suga by Baby Bash

Top Party Staple: Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly

Top Song to Get Slutty To: Me & You by Cassie

Top Retro Jam: Ain't No Other Man by Christina Aguilera

Top Song About A Dance: 1,2 Step by Ciara

Top Moral Story Song: What Would You Do by City High

Top Song by a Minor: Aaron's Party (Come Get It) by Aaron Carter

Runner-Up: Too Little Too Late by JoJo

Top Collaboration: What's Luv? by Fat Joe, Ja Rule, & Ashanti

Runner-Up: Imma Flirt by R.Kelly, T-Pain, & T.I.

Top Song You Hate to Love: Low by Flo Rida

Top Song You Should Hate But Love So Much You Don't Even Care: Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

Top Mash Up: Numb/Encore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park

Top Whiney Song: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional

Runners-Up: It Ends Tonight by All-American Rejects and Konstantine by Something Corporate

Top Remake: Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, & Lil Kim

Top Trashy Song: She Fucking Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd

Runner-Up: Lips of an Angel by Hinder

Top Day Specific Celebration Song: Birthday Sex by Jerimih

Runner-Up: Willenium by Will Smith

Top Song From A Movie: We Run This by Missy Elliot

Top One Hit Wonder: Fidelity by Regina Spektor

Top Dance Song: Disturbia by Rihanna

Runner-Up: Take You There by Sean Kingston

Top Foreign Language Song: La Tortura by Shakira & Alejandro Sanz

Runner-Up: Calabria 2007 by Enur feat. Natasja

Top Feel Good Jam: Never Let You Go by Third Eye Blind

Top Song No One Can Talk Shit About: The Seed 2.0 by The Roots

Top Sad Love Song: Crazy by KC & JoJo

Runner-Up: Burn by Usher

Top Sample: Stronger by Kanye West

Runners-Up: Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston, Wild Wild West by Will Smith

Top Song Based on a Place: Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

I Am Now Officially Published

2009-12-11T18:41:00.005-05:00

Yes, you read that right. As of today I am a published writer.

Ok, so JoonBug isn't really known for it's blogs. I don't even know if anyone even reads them. But they should. In fact you should all get a really big interest in Las Vegas life right now and start reading the goddamn JoonBug Las Vegas blog. It's awesome! I might be a little biased but still.

Though my old internship wasn't bad, I am just loving my new one. In fact, it isn't really an internship. I'm an Outside Markets Editor (I had to check the website to learn what my job title was):

See how important I am? Well, not really. Maybe if I was they would pay me. But still, it's awesome. Today I wrote three pieces for the Vegas blog and two have already gone up.

One, about a new night club Vanity, and the other about Sarah and I's favorite summer film: The Hangover. Read them. Comment. Be in awe of my awesomeness.

I'm done being arrogant now. But truthfully, I really do love the new internship. It's completely independent. I research what stories would be good and them just pick one and start writing. Today I just felt so grown up. At my last internship everything you did was dictated but here I get to be in charge of what I do. I also met some friends for lunch today at Republic and just felt all adult. Leaving the office to grab a bite at a hip Union Square restaurant--so Sex & the City. My mom would have loved it.

So anyways, I guess the point of this whole article is Happy Chanukkah! Let's get drunk!

The Horror....

2009-12-09T22:25:00.001-05:00

People. You really should check out the video some of my friends made for their horror film class. There is no way to prepare you for what is to come. Especially if you know them (ie: especially if you're Sarah or Emi).

Crawling In My Skin

2009-12-07T23:32:00.005-05:00

Note: What if we all started Linkin Park Lyric Monday? Where we tried to incorporate at least one LP lyric into everyday life. Sound good? Sounds good. And now for the post:

So there I was: all cozy in bed, about to pass out (Yes, it was before midnight and no, I am not lame), when I see it---a cockroach.

That's right! There was a bug. In my room. Many of you know my rules on animals: "If it has more than four legs or less than two, I'd like to bid that monstrosity adieu."

I just made up that poem, but the rule still stands. I do not under any circumstances mess with bugs or snakes (Animals that swim are exempt from that rule. They have a whole other set of logic, mainly based on eyes). Señor Cockroach was across the floor, circling my riding boots. I was petrified. I think I even went into shock for a moment, but then my brain kicked in again."You wanna take a ride, Roachie? Oh, you'll take a ride...straight to Hell!"

I had finally pulled myself together. My mind was working again and I knew I could finally do what needed to be done: Scream for Kelly.

I know I screamed pretty damn loud too. There are a lot of times when I see something stupid online or my own thoughts make me laugh so hard I feel like I need to share them with someone just so my personal hilarity can fulfill its awesomeness potential, and so I yell out for Kellz. "Kelly!!!....Keelllyyyyyy!!!!" I'll even go Kanye Caps on it: "KEELLLYYYYY!!!" All that, and nothing. No response. Nada. This time though, Kelly came a 'runnin. So either she's figured out a way to decifer my distraction yells from my yells of terror or I yelled louder than I thought. Either way, Kelly walked in armed with a paper towel and squashed the little freak while I hovered in the corner of my bed, clutching Claude, and whimpering--actually whimpering.

I don't know why bugs freak me out so bad. Maybe it was all those years reading Animorphs with all those Yeerks slithering into people's ears and taking over their brain. Bugs are that small. They could do that. I'll probably never know why bugs are the absolute grossest and scariest things ever, but there are a few things I do know: Now I'm wide awake and feel like I'll never sleep again, I'm going to have nightmares a la The Mummy tonight, I have the greatest roommate ever, and I'm never EVER letting Claude leave my side again. Not at least while they're out there hatching their evil plans. Claude's the only barrier between me and the evil bug army that live in my riding boots (I know that's why he was checking them out earlier. They want to make it their not-so-secret lair. I won't try to fight it. I know I don't stand a chance against them. You may have my riding boots, but you shall never have my flats!!!! That's because my flats are on my chair right now Suck that, Roaches! Wait--cockroaches can't climb, right? Oh please Lord tell me cockroaches can't climb!)

UPDATE:
Apparently, the Yeerks are real. Just another thing for me to be irrationally afraid of.

I Want To Spend the Rest of My Life High-Fiving THIS

2009-12-06T00:18:00.001-05:00

God, I love Missed Connections, but none will ever top this (click on the picture to see in full).

Want To Get Someone A Xmas Present that 'Pops'?

2009-12-04T12:20:00.002-05:00

Get them Booty Pop: What every insecure girl needs! (And can you imagine being a guy and encountering these while hooking up with someone?)

I Don't Like It In Here

2009-11-16T09:57:00.007-05:00

The always inappropriate Sarah just left after a weekend visit full of debauchery and limes. We sat, we ate, we drank, we lied, we talked about Josh Groban a lot, and we started a war.
If you like these, then follow us on Twitter because this war ain't slowin' down. Feel free to join in and help insult Sarah (hint: she really likes A.I.: Artificial Intelligence). But really, it was a great weekend. Sarah and I understand each other like Dick and Constance. We both take our vodka shots with lime and enjoy naming other people's dogs after hilarious classical pop singers.

Ok, that first one wasn't true. That was just drunken me who didn't realize that I was holding vodka and not tequila, but I'm pretty sure I still made her do it. Totally counts. One of the funniest parts of the weekend (all parts of Friday night that I don't remember excluded) was when Sarah, Claude, and I were in my bed and I was about half-asleep when Sarah full on woke me up to go "Sadie! Sadie! What if instead of 'Too good to be forgotten' it was 'Too good to be au gratin!' Like with a potato!" So Happy Lisa Bonet & Dean McDermott's birthday. This one's for you guys:

A Gift to You on This Very Special day

2009-11-11T09:37:00.004-05:00

Today, as I'm sure few of you know, is Veterans Day, a holiday no one really gives a fuck about. No one except LaQuesha that is.

Many years ago, back in a small town called Urbana, there was a girl named KT. Now KT went to public school where she became used to people saying hilarious, but very stupid things (ex: "Watergate? Ain't that a type of Gatorade?"). One thing did stand out to KT though, and it went on to become one of her personal favorite (as well as mine) catchphrases generated from Urbana High School.

Setting: First day of school
We open on all the kids standing up, saying there name and two things about themselves. It's now LaQuesha's turn.

LaQ: My name's LaQuesha. And I liked fried chicken and Vet'ranssss Day.
Teacher: Umm.....LaQuesha, why do you like Veterans Day so much?
LaQ [very sassy]: Cause---ain't--nobody else--like-Vet--rrrannnsss-Day.

So lets all honor our military veterans (and LaQuesha) with some good ol' fashion fried chicken and hilarity today.

Happy Veterans Day!

New Addition

2009-11-07T00:17:00.005-05:00

There's been a new addition to my List. Let's all give a warm round of applause to my latest obsession: Donald "Not Danny" Glover.
You might recognize him as Troy from everyone's new favorite show, Community. Donald had already stolen my heart away from Joel McHale (quite a task), but when I recently learned that 30 Rock hired him while he was still in college to write for their show my love for him got so big it could no longer fit inside me and I actually had to share it with Claude. Then, I go to his Twitter only to see that he loves Bored to Death. Then, I go to his website only to see that he had written this:

"Yes, I know. It's been a long time...we shouldn't left...without a dope sketh to laugh to...RIP Aaliyah."

True. Fucking. Love.

You Always Listen to the Counting Crows When You're Upset

2009-11-05T20:10:00.011-05:00

I don't care if it's officially the weekend now. All I want to do tonight is sit on my futon under my roommate's cheetah Snuggie and watch geeky TV. Of course, the show I really want to watch is a bitch to watch online and somehow I have not obtained the full series DVD box set yet. In case you couldn't guess the show, I'm talking about Roswell. What a show. Top drawer, really. Sarah is such a goddess for bringing that into my life. Of course, if she hadn't I wouldn't be so upset with my lack of alien teen drama right now. But, to quote Max, "Well, we can't win 'em all."

(That came from one of my favorite episodes. It's the one where Max and Kyle get drunk and stalk Liz and Max changes her friends faces in a photograph all to his. HILARITY!).

To try to paint you a picture of how awesome this show is just read this review courtesy of imdb.com (I've highlighted the best parts):

20 out of 21 people found the following comment useful :-
Roswell is - love in midst of mystery, trust in midst of fear and belief in midst of heresy., 28 November 2001

Roswell- mystery, enigma. There is some thing in Roswell that I can't put my finger on. And it is this that makes Roswell so very special. And suddenly - I believe in aliens. Whenever I see any of the episodes I feel as if everything is happening around me, as if I am one with the show. The characters of Roswell would stand out among a million others. Max, Michael, Isabelle, Liz and Maria - bonded by a secret. Max - so calm, so composed. Liz - unsure, disturbed yet optimistic. Michael- wild, impulsive. Isabel- though haughty yet with a faint touch of meekness. Maria- unsteady, 'on the edge' but true. Liz and Max, when together, depict everything beautiful in this world. The chemistry between them is so wonderful that it could make anyone wish to fall in love (all over again). The words spoken between them make time stand still, and make me feel like I'm the only audience to the most beautiful thing of the world. They, like, share an unspoken promise that, no matter what, they'd forever stand by each other. This is what that makes their relationship so special. It is a special relationship between special people The rest of the cast too carve a niche for themselves and make themselves felt against so strong a principal cast. And just to think I never knew about a place called Roswell, somewhere far away, where a secret will forever lay buried. P.S: At home, the first season of Roswell started this October (2001). And I am writing a review after having seen just six episodes.

That pretty much sums it up. Especially since 20 out of 21 people found that comment useful (seriously?) Since I don't have Roswell though, I've settled for a little of the Buffster which brought about a Roswell-related discovery. Glory (fucking "Glorificus"--what the fuck kind of name is that?) looks super similar to Katherine "I always try to get out of my contracts and bite the hand that feeds me" Heigl.

SIDE-BY-SIDE!

UPDATE: I forgot they had some Roswell on Hulu. GOD DOES LOVE ME!

Morning Cheer

2009-11-02T11:11:00.006-05:00

As previously mentioned, I've injured my foot somehow. I still don't understand how I--girl who doesn't like concerts because it's standing is too tiring, girl who drove five minutes to school everyday in high school, girl who thinks shampooing twice counts as arm exercise--injured herself. I don't do anything! How did this happen?

I'm still sitting around in my sweats and kitten heels (whose toes are taped together with tape. I feel so Liz Lemon) feeling ridiculous. It's almost worse now because I have my face all done up and my feet all fancy but then just a beater and Gryffindor sweatpants. Alas, what is there to do.

Needless to say, I needed some cheering up this morning before I could bring myself to take the trek to class and run errands this afternoon. That's when I remembered that one good thing did happen this weekend to cheer me up.

I learned I still look half Asian!

I was complaining to my friend Alexandra that being Sailor Saturn for Halloween was much easier when I still had my Asianface in 2004 when two of her roommates were like "What? You aren't mixed?" Total score.

Now I look half black and half Asian and half white. I know you think that math might not work, but take it from an award-winning mathlete--don't question stuff like that. It's much easier to just assume math is always right or else you have to learn theorums and quadrants and formulas or whatever else they do in math classes nowadays. It's really a win, win, win situation.

I Think I Just Died Inside

2009-10-31T16:34:00.004-04:00

I'm not going to lie. I think very few people are as awesome at Halloween as me most of the time (Tip: It's all about the attitude), but this little girl has already kicked my ass ten times over. Winner: Best costume of all time.

Also, just last night I already saw eight Max's. I'm so over this Wild Thing craze already. Is this how other people feel about vampires? Speaking of, The Vampire Diaries has me completely head-over-heels.

Nightmare on Leonard Street

2009-10-31T16:18:00.004-04:00

I am so pissed right now. If you know me at all then you are aware of exactly how much I love love love Halloween. It's one of the few days of the year where I'm actually excited to do something and don't have a problem standing a lot or walking (two of my least favorite activities).

Of course, it is this weekend that my foot decides to stop working. Randomly yesterday, the arch of my left foot started hurting. By the end of the night I was hobbling around like a cripple. Even though I was so wasted that I couldn't read I could still feel the pain--it was that bad. But I kind of hoped that if I slept it off and kept off my foot for eight hours or so it'd be OK today.

I wake up and it's just as bad as it was last night, maybe worse. I've iced it, elevated it, stretched it, massaged it. None of it worked. The only thing I've found to help at all, oddly, is wearing heels. I'm sitting around, unshowered, unkempt, in sweats, no makeup,...and heels. It's weird. And obnoxious. I love Halloween almost as much as I love birthdays, maybe even more. And I don't even know if I can go to the big parade tonight! All I want to do tonight is dance and party and have an awesome time. I don't know how I'm going to do that if I can't even walk.

I knew I should have been Lady GaGa in Paparazzi. (That was a legit costume idea of mine. Don't judge.)

I Know I'm a Hard Act to Follow, But...

2009-10-27T21:28:00.003-04:00

I know that very few people who read this actually live in New York, but for those of you who do, or for those who just love food and frugality, check out my roommate's new blog. It comes up first thing on Google blog search!

The Desert of the Real

2009-10-22T17:53:00.003-04:00

I am up in the clouds right now, flying high. And no, not that kind of high. I'm on an airplane. That's right. Technology rocks. Free wifi on my flight. Totally loving in. It's given me the perfect opportunity to put out there what I realized on my earlier flight that has been aching to get out ever since.

I HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH KEANU REEVES!

Life goal: accomplished. Keanu Reeves cannot believably be climactic. Whenever there is a big moment in a film—that’s when he fails. Remember that part in The Lake House when he cries?* Or that abysmal speech in Johnny Mnemonic where he stands on the New Jersey dump and dramatically proclaims “I…WANT…ROOM SERVICE!” (You probably don’t because most people haven’t seen that film unless they went to a weird school where they take lots of classes on robots and cyberpunk. But, trust me, it just doesn’t work. )

The audience can always tell that these are supposed to be major turning points and they can tell he’s trying so hard. That’s what makes it so incredibly sad (and bad).

You might be thinking The Matrix is the exception to this rule: WRONG! Trust me, as someone who is practically minoring in The Matrix, he still cannot pull it off. All the big moments of the film happen to him, not because of him. That classic stoner “Whoah” only works because it is so anticlimactic and nonchalant compared to what he just witnessed. All the exciting moments in the battle scenes have nothing to do with Keanu, they’re just awesome special effects. Whether or not the bullet stops infront of a wall or in front of Keanu Reeves, it's still going to be just as badass.

I feel much better with myself now that I’ve figured out why Keanu Reeves sucks so much. He just can’t climax, and that's that.

Oh and here's the Johnny Mnemonic video. It's so bad you really should watch it.

*The producer of this film came and spoke in one of my classes earlier this year. Even he apologized for this film. On a personal note though, I’ve seen it probably about four times and I’d see it again.

Psyched

2009-10-17T12:31:00.005-04:00

I just finished watching the Psych finale and I really don't know how it happened but that show is just one of my favorites. I always loved it. I'm probably about 50% of the fanbase, the other 50% being my friend Thomas (he's also the one I watch My Boys with, no surprise). I honestly can't resist a show that gives fake aliases (another example: Veronica Mars) and makes Fast & The Furious references while in the midst of an intense car chase. Oh, and it has two people from Disney Channel Origianal Movies starring in it plus Bud from the Cosby Show. My heart just welled up when Juliette was about to tell Shawn she loved him but then was crushed when he called her Abigail. It really put a damper on my morning so to cheer me up I needed to watch my go-to Psych video which I am now sharing with you, probably not for the first time either. I hope you appreciate the piAAAno as much as I do because that's clearly the best part.

Woman Like A Man

2009-10-15T17:29:00.002-04:00

If Cillian Murphy just had real eyebrows he'd look almost exactly like All-American Rejects Dude. Less like a woman, yet less attractive. Odd.

Let Me Remind You That I Am The King of R&B

2009-10-13T20:34:00.002-04:00

There are some songs that are just so underappreciated I don't understand. Imma Flirt by R. Kelly featuring T.I. and T-Pain is one of them. Listen, Love, Learn.

This is NOT How We Do It On The Mainland

2009-10-11T21:14:00.003-04:00

One of my friends is from Hawaii and today we somehow started talking about popular Hawaiian music. I really don't think there are any adjectives in the entire English language to describe the awesome/terribleness of what you're about to see/hear. Know only this: what you're about to witness was made in the last few years and is one of the top Hawaiin jams.

I Hate Bros

2009-10-11T15:18:00.003-04:00

This would only be OK if it was created by Barney Stinson and had that certain legend--ary charm.

Pepsi Releases iPhone App To Help Men "Score" With Women and Brag About It On Twitter

I Smell Sex & Zombies, Yeah

2009-10-11T12:15:00.013-04:00

Last night my friend Nina came over to have a do-over. On Friday we had met up to watch a movie, smoke, and go to bed early. Somehow we ended up fucked up, out of my apartment, and out until 5am. We decided to try again to have our calm movie night so she came over and I told her no depressing, serious, or scary flicks.

We watched 28 Days Later.

Now, even though that went against all of my protocol the second she picked up that movie and said "OH EM GEE! Cillian Murphy!" I couldn't resist. Sarah introduced me to dear ol' Cillian way back in 2005 and he's been my boyfriend ever since. Yet somehow I still have never seen 28 Days Later. We watched it and I was actually surprised how not scary the movie was. It was like God smiled down on me, allowing me to both look at Cillian and not have nightmares.

While watching, Nina and I were just mesmerized by his beauty. He is one of the most interesting looking man I've ever seen. We finally figured out what made him so beautiful but not gay-faced.

He has the head of a man.
And the face of a woman.
See, if you just give him long hair and a more feminine head he looks like a woman. Or would if I had done some real photoshopping.
You could also just check him out in Breakfast on Pluto where his Woman Face is very obvious even with his Man Head.
Between watching Cillian go all ape-shit on army guys/zombies and falling even more in love I did some stalking on imdb to great success. Our boy here is in some great upcoming films filled with other beautiful faces/boyfriends.

He's got a movie on deck with Ellen Page, Susan Sarandon, Keith Carradine, Virginia Newcomb, Bill Pulman, and Josh Lucas. There's also one with Colin Farrell and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. But--the most important one of all--he's doing a film with Marion Cottilard, Ellen Page (again, gross), Michael Cain, and...
Leonardo DiCaprio and...

I don't think you're ready for this one, but here it is...

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT!!!

Life is so good right now.

It's That Time Again

2009-10-09T13:05:00.006-04:00

That's right! It's time for not one, not three, but TWO side-by-sides.

Sarah once showed me this glory of a video "Faggoty Attention" by Adam Joseph which rivals Johnny Weir's delectable "Pokerface" video. Ever since I first saw that something about it had been bothering me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it--until now. Adam Joseph has a slight case of the No Face. Case in Point:

That's Adam Joseph on the left and Suede from Project Runway on the right. They're even both giving me The Eyes! And you know you have a No Face situation on your hands when you it takes you a second to figure out which one this is:
Now, this one there's some mystery surrounding. I'm not 100% sure that this is the same Adam Joseph as above. He's also a singer so it's close enough. But he has a major case of the Brandon face. I give you Brandon on the left and Adam on the right.
I hope you enjoyed today's side-by-sides. I now have to go listen to how NASA is trying to destroy the moon and drown us all. And here's the "Faggoty Attention" video for those of you who haven't seen it yet. Modern day classic, swear to God.

Home Movies

2009-10-06T21:56:00.002-04:00

So this is not actually a home movie of me but it definitely was/is a dream of mine but this nine year old rich bitch beat me to it--FRAME BY FRAME!

Can I Get A Countdown?

2009-10-04T17:57:00.008-04:00

Sometimes when I'm really exhausted I listen to certain music to counter my mood and get my adrenaline pumping. Seeing as how tired lately I've been and how I assume this fad will continue for a while longer I thought it lucrative to make a playlist. I now present you with the highlights from "Get Pumped Up-Side Down" (that title may or may not be a reference to my senior year highschool yearbook).

Top 35 Songs to Get You Pumped:
Aaron's Party by Aaron Carter
Willenium by Will Smith
SOS by Rihanna
Don't Trust Me by 3Oh!3
Take You There by Sean Kingston
Piece of Me by Britney Spears
Don't Phunk With My Heart by The Black Eyed Peas
My Lips Like Sugar by Flo Rida
Love Foolsophy by Jamiroquai
Ain't No Other Man by Christina Aguilera
Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson
Disturbia by Rihanna
Krazy by Pitbull feat. Lil John
Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship feat. Queen B
Part Time Lover by Stevie Wonder
Good Luck by Basement Jaxx
Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
Get It Shorty by Lloyd
Callin Out by Lyrics Born
Numb/Encore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park
We Run This by Missy Elliott
I Know You Want Me by Pitbull
Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder
Renegade by Styx
Church by T-Pain feat. Teddy Verseti
Get It Poppin by Fat Joe feat. Nelly
Move On Up by Curtis Mayfield
Footloose by Kenny Loggins
Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5
A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley
Disease by Matchbox 20
She's Only 18 by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Do What You Want by OK Go
Toxic by Britney Spears

Craft Foul (Like Party Foul, but Lamer)

2009-10-03T17:00:00.007-04:00

There are so many reasons that the Internet is my favorite thing ever and this blog Regretsy (get it: regret + etsy! It took me a second, too. Don't feel bad) has now been added to that list. Here are a few highlights from the first few pages:

Friday Lolz

2009-10-02T20:34:00.001-04:00

So after Jezebel destroyed my life by not preparing me for a woman wearing period juice as lipstick I went to my other blogs to find an anti-dote. Thank god for this:

This Is How We Do It (AWK Edition)

2009-09-29T23:59:00.009-04:00

I've been doing a lot of heavy drinking lately. This is the one downside to not really getting sick or that hungover, you never really learn your lesson. But then there are those moments that only came about because you were shwasty wasty-finding nemo-sleepovers-getting drunk-drunk that make it all worthwhile. (That was an inside joke that I don't think anyone who reads my blog will understand. But Katie and Bri, if you ever do, that one was for you!)

It's bad, but I'm kind of glad I've been doing the party thing so much lately. For the first time in three years (it's our anniversary today actually) I'm single-ish and feel independent. Charlie never wanted to go out, drink, or smoke and I spent so much of last year talking on the phone and missing him I barely left my dorm room. And it's not like going out to bars or going to/throwing dance parties is really doing something when you think of it in terms of all the wild opportunities New York City offers, but I'm in college for Christ's sake! And now I actually feel that way.

The New School is such a weird environment with no sense of community and so many people I mock and hate. It's bad, but going to parties reminds me of home and how college life there works. I mean, I do other things here too (went to a live radio show taping on Friday for instance), but the past few weeks the highlights have definitely been the trucked, whamied, and wasted ones. And I'm Ok with that.

Where else would you get the memory of my roommate and I balled up on the kitchen floor at 3 am in stiches after I yell out "I'm wearing all white!!!!...But it's ok! It's not after labor day!!!" (It was, in fact, the day before Labor Day). And then waking up the next morning to this:

In case you couldn't tell, that's a cookie sheet which had been used for nachos made with slices of American cheese (surprisingly delicious), a literal pot full of brownies, a stuffed animal rabbit who had been beaten so badly the night before his face had become even more squooshed, and a bunch of other mess that hadn't been there when we had left to go out. This picture really can't even capture the mess Kelly and I made of the apartment that night before passing out while watching Veronica Mars (we often make it a habit to leave parties a little early so we stay awake enough to watch an episode of a tv show).

And without these party adventures we never would have had these precious moments:
So let's just all raise our glasses (or full wine bottle) to another few crazy weeks and just hope that Kelly will never have to drag me home passed out ever again. Mazel tov!

They Really Will Never Let Go

2009-09-28T14:55:00.003-04:00

I think it's very appropriate that the morning after the 90s party I threw last night I learn of this interesting piece of news.

Titanic (or Tightanic as Sarah and I like to call it) is going to be re-released in 3-D. I'm a little wary of this whole 3-D aspect, but frankly I don't really care that much. I'm just pumped to go see Titanic in theaters. It'll be like 1997 all over again and that, my friends, was a good year. That was the year I watched Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead about a thousand times and it was the year my dad flew from New Mexico to Illinois with a turtle in his shirt pocket.

Sidenote about last night's party: Kelly and I were really not looking forward to hosting the party because we're both lazy fucks and didn't want to have to deal with the disgusting cleanup but to our delight we woke up and the only real mess there was to clean up were tons of feathers and scrunchies. The streamers even made it through the night! I think that's a pretty good reflection of how awesome of a party we throw.

Not Another Gay Boyfriend

2009-09-25T01:20:00.004-04:00

I have a problem with gay face. It needs to be dealt with. Or I should just admit defeat.

Weekend Highlights

2009-09-21T20:55:00.006-04:00

So my sister visited over the weekend and it was pretty awesome. I'm too lazy/watching The OC at the moment to actually develop a well-written post about it so instead I'll give you a quick Best-of-line-up.

1. My dad asked to have some of my roommates snapper in exchange for his sausage
2. My dad said "I'm thinking about using The Craigslist"
4. Went to a Satanic themed birthday party
3. At the party Emi slapped someone after they grabbed her stomach (huge no-no, in case you didn't know)
4. Said someone then thought the appropriate response to someone slapping him was to kiss my roommate's neck and then my sister's
5. Emi walked down the street yelling about herself pooping
6. Emi told all my friends about how her boyfriend used to call me "period girl" when I started going through puberty
7. My Grandma turned 95 and my aunt and uncle wrote a horribly un-PC limmerick about her (they said she was a Jewish menace and insulted her tennis skills)
8. Emi woke up on the bathroom floor and hadn't been drunk the night before. She then learned that she had gone into my roommates room at 3 am. Then she realized she couldn't find her pants. We tear the apartment appart only to find them in the outdoor hallway at the top of the basement stairs, the door to which had been opened. We still don't know why this happened.

Oh, and they started selling my sister's comics at Desert Island here in Williamsburg. Hurray for her!

So if you just add about 30 PBR's and four bottles of wine that's my weekend in a nutshell.

I'm a Missed Connection!

2009-09-16T17:59:00.003-04:00

Click the image to read it.

The Answer

2009-09-13T22:53:00.005-04:00

Over the summer Charlie asked me the hardest question anyone can ask: Paul Rudd or Jason Segel? And today I've decided. I am officially in love and never going back. One day our day will come. This one's for you babycakes.
And I know that normally you're supposed to photoshop your face over the other girls but I love Kristen Bell too much.

Also, update on the last post: officially drugged.

Just One Of Those Days

2009-09-12T11:02:00.005-04:00

Do you ever wake up and not only not understand what happened last night but also how it happened? Because this is one of those days.

Last night my roommmate and I had to work a fashion party for our internship. We were banished to the models room to be dressers. Pretty much we just took their clothes and handed them clothes. It was hell...at first. Everyone was so serious and intense about everything and Kelly and I really didn't give a fuck passed not sending naked girls into the party. Then after the first change was done the stylist had a cocktail waitress bring us all a glass of wine. Kelly and I sipped on these slowly during the time lapse between changes. Then after second change the waitress left a bottle on the table. We had three, maaaybe four more glasses of wine for the rest of our time upstairs. At one point during this our boss (who was supposed to be a dresser as well but cannot stand fashion so got out of the job due to 'allergies') came up. We could not stop giggling, and she offered us a drink of water (which we believe to have been vodka) but she couldn't tell we were drunk at all, just two girls having a giggle attack. Passed that test.

So then the fashion show ends and we find our boss. All the fashion interns had done our cleanup job and wanted none of our help. We were nubes so now that there wasn't a time crunch they would rather do it themselves. Most of those interns were megabitches who would do those sly put downs right to your face ("I really appreciate you guys trying to hang these clothes to the best of your ability"). Since they're doing our job we go and find our boss who says the bar is still open and to hang around for about fifteen minutes, get a 'soda', or whatnot. Kelly and I get another glass of wine. This is when we lose it.

Our boss comes over again and cheers us, she learns of our drunkeness, it's all good. We think she left the party after that, but maybe she just left us. We don't see any of our other bosses and the place is packed (Kelly Kupowski was there). Then the hairdresser (who is apparently not gay) sticks his tongue down Kelly's throat knowing how young she is. Majorly creepy. After that she just needed to get out of there. On the walk to the subway we realize that we are completely and utterly smashed. It was not even eleven yet. Neither of us really remember the ride home or even transfering trains. All I remember was being so amazed at our state doing the drunken self-proclamation "I'M SOO DRUNKKKK" on the train while people judge mercilessly, which they had a right to.

We then burst into our friends apartment and Kelly knocks three chairs off the wall first thing. We don't really know what happened there either. I remember our friends told us they'd never seen us that drunk before and last year I drank an entire bottle of wine and then started chugging tequila. But no, five glasses of wine and Kelly and I are roll-around-on-the-floor-blackout drunk. Exhibit A.
We somehow make it to our apartment and put on Arrested. We try to get our friend to come and make us mac and cheese through texts like "we xabt move." We then passed out before midnight. Kelly and I both woke up at seven (her in all of my clothes, with the shirt on backwards) and still a little drunk. We have no idea how that happened off of five glasses of wine. Maybe we're just so used to Two Buck Chuck that the good stuff took us off guard. Now we're confused, embarrased, and a little bit worried. But on the plus side, we have no hangovers.

Best NYC Museum

2009-09-08T20:28:00.003-04:00

Fuck the Moma. Fuck the Met. And definitely fuck the Guggenheim. None of those even compare to the Troll Museum. A museum so elite and awesome that it is by appointment only. A museum with its own theme song. A museum of dreams.

It's Been 84 Years and I Can Still Smell the Fresh Bling

2009-09-02T18:47:00.004-04:00

So I was just perusing facebook and came across a fan page for everyone's favorite necklace: The Heart of the Ocean. I told my roommate, excited about my new Internet find only to have my joy crushed with ignorance.

"What is the this? Heart of the what?"

Fool! So now I'll have to take her to the Titanic exhibit in New York (second time in the last six months, third time ever). I hope her guilt and her gratitude will maybe influence her to buy me said necklace as a thank you.

Also, it's just been a Titanic kind of day. In my Public Radio Culture class in addition to drawing a cat in pajamas I also drew a "I'll never let go, Jack-a-lope" cartoon.

RIP Jack Dawson, too young to die.

Hall & Oates Wrote It, And Now You're Living It

2009-08-29T16:20:00.004-04:00

Something really upsetting just happened.

I was wasting time online so I decided to find out who the Internet would say is my VMars boyfriend. I took one and it gave me the answer everyone dreads:
That's right. Duncan. I would literally have been satisfied with any other answer. Logan, Dick, Beav (RIP), Weevil, Sheriff Lamb, Leo, Piz, Desmond Fellows, Big D, Landry, Wallace, Mercer. Fuck, even Papa Mars would have been better. Duncan is just such a wet blanket. Except that time he escaped to Australia and had Aaron Echolls killed. But other than that: LAME. I'm over it. And what makes this even more fucked up is when I took the Which VMars Character are You quiz they told me I was Lily. Kane-cest is so not as cool as Wincest.

To make matters worse I'm watching the series finale of Veronica for the umpteenth time and it still upsets me that this is the end.

I really write about this show too much but the boys on it are so damn hot. Plus, we don't have cable yet.

Bitch Slapped

2009-07-15T14:30:00.002-04:00

So last night I fulfilled my obligation as HP Club Headmaster by going to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I was pretty stoked. I had reread the book a week prior and had fallen in love with the series all over again. There was nothing that could bring me down from my HP induced excitement. Or so I thought. That piece of crap that they called Harry Potter was just The Golden Compass film all over again except this film didn't have something awesome like a polar bear ripping out another polar bear's jaw to make it worth while. Lavender Brown did make me laugh (but they never even used her name and the break up was all sorts of wrong) and the Weasley boys always play their parts well. Overall though, this film was the worst one yet. Worse than the fucking Order of the Phoenix film! Or Harry's acting in the first one. Just atrocious. I'm still livid thinking about it. Harry never found the diadem and Dumbledore never told him what the other Horcruxes probably were. Important Tom Riddle memories were lost along with Harry and Ginny's break up. Why Draco knew that Dumbledore was going to the Astronomy Tower without the fake dark mark and how he got the necklace to Katie Bell without Imperius Cursing the barmaid were tossed aside. All the mystery and suspense were lost and the took out the end battle (no one in Hogwarts noticed Death Eaters wandering the castle?) and replaced it with some random and irrational attack on the Burrow. I'm just so mad and so glad that Sarah and I are on our way to Sweden so I can forget about this horror.

Can I Get A Side-By-Side?

2009-06-16T20:43:00.003-04:00

The other day Sarah and I were sharing and practicing our love of a good side-by-side, mainly of the new No Face, January Jones. Since I just came across a photo of Christina Hendricks which sparked a question of side-by-side I thought I'd post for Sarah while keeping in the Mad Men theme. Plus, who doesn't love a good SBS?

I Feel Thirteen Again

2009-06-14T18:01:00.003-04:00

Do you see what those are? Yes, those are swim suits. Do you know whose swim suits those are? That's right, mine. I fit those now. That pink and white one on the left--that's a medium. A motherfucking medium. I have not been able to go to a store and try on whatever I want with it fitting since about seventh grade and here I am now fitting mediums. This is a glorious day. I can't even imagine how incredible bra shopping is going to be. Boob jobs rock.

Mesmerizingly Bad

2009-06-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

Hi Ho

2009-06-09T17:57:00.007-04:00

So since my surgery I've been watching a whole heck of a lot of television, which means I've been subjected to that Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty boy band commercial innumerable times. Not only does that song get stuck in my head, torturing me for the rest of the day, but that face! That tall, skinny face tortures me as well.
I knew I recognized him from somewhere, but I just couldn't place it and for the first time Google left me hanging. But there I was, not just five minutes ago, fixing my ponytail when it hit me--Syndey Fucking White! Apparently his name is Jeremy Howard and now that I've figured out who he is I could care less about him.

This discovery does have another added perk though. While on the Imdb page for Sydney White I saw that I had already once clicked on a cast member's name, a mister Jack Carpenter. I had completely forgotten about Sarah and I's old crush and his upcoming role in I Love You, Beth Cooper (no Moonlight affiliation, sorry). Jack then reminded me of my most recent love, Ezra Miller. If you've seen the Royal Pains premier (I kind of hope you haven't, the show blows) you may have noticed a young rich kid Tucker with my heart in his hand. You, like I, then may have recognized Tucker/Ezra from a recent SVU episode about sexting with a surprise LOL factor of about 8 (they do a sting courtroom operation involving Ezra with an awesome accent and all the usuals playing new roles-ie: Dr. Wong as a defense attorney). Unfortunately, Ezra has baby face in photographs but I sense a good and high trash level in person which makes up for it. So here are some these newly found and remembered loves of mine. I hope everyone else's week have been just as exciting and productive as mine.

Check It

2009-06-06T21:54:00.001-04:00

Hey! So everyone should check out my sister's website for her comics. It's awesome, as is she. I'd recommend clicking the first button so you can read them all in order.

And Not Just Because You're Mean To People

2009-06-06T19:48:00.008-04:00

So Sarah and I are going to Sweden in July and I'm super excited about it even though the ABBA Museum won't be open ye. If anyone doesn't understand how hilarious this trip is going to be, I think this explains it all (and if you can't read it, which you probably can't, just double click on that shit):
Sarah is better than who Jensen Ackles' follows on Twitter. It's going to be a good summer.

Say Goodbye to These!

2009-05-31T14:39:00.004-04:00

So I'm having my breast reduction surgery tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm going to post some before and after shots. But anyways, it's scary and exciting and I can't wait for a week or two of nonstop TV and 90s movies with my fam, bf, and friends (that means you, Sarah). So let's all just say goodbye one last time to Mary-Kate and Ashley. They've had a good run.

Gossip Girl Gone Eh

2009-05-25T02:34:00.004-04:00

I'm slightly impressed with B's singing voice. I don't really like the song at all but she doesn't make me want to curl up and die which is good because Blair and Chuck are the only reason I am (or anyone should be) watching Gossip Girl. I'm intrigued to hear what her electric pop/Fergie inspired album is because this song and her cameo really isn't doing anything special for me but I'm going to try and keep an open mind. I'm still waiting on Nicole Richie's album which she promised me yeaaaars ago and her TV version of The Truth About Diamonds so even if Leighton does come out with an album that blows at least I'll know and she won't keep me hanging like my girl Nicky Rich.

Mazletov

2009-05-23T20:53:00.003-04:00

I want do some Poof Point shit just so that I can relive my childhood with this glorious, glorious doll. Her name is Rebecca Rubin and she is a Russian-Jewish immigrant living in the LES in 1914. I am so glad they put so much effort into creating a good, relatable, Jewish American Girl. This is exactly what I wanted when I was younger. Hell, maybe I'd be a better Jew now if I'd had her back then. She is my new favorite. Forget Addy and Kirsten and Josefina. I am about to go out and buy Rebecca right now and save her for my future daughter. And maybe play with her while I wait.

Creepy-Chan

2009-05-21T14:26:00.003-04:00

So I loved Allison from this cycle of ANTM. I did. And yes, OK, I watched America's Next Top Model. Online. I went out of my way to watch it on Supernovatube every Thursday after my Cyberspace class and before Cyborg. It was just mindless and if I fell asleep in the middle of it, it didn't matter. But anyways, I found her flickr account today and I don't know why, but I really enjoy it. She is defnitely living up to her old title of Creepy-Chan and I wish she'd shown off her creep side a little more on the show (you all know how much I love a good creep) but this flickr totally makes up for it. Here are some of my faves:

I love this last one mainly because it's called Oromanov and just makes me want to watch Anastasia.

Spot the Douche

2009-05-21T13:15:00.000-04:00

My Life: The Subscription

2009-05-20T21:36:00.003-04:00

Google Reader is my new best friend. It enables me to have all my blogs, nicely categorized, in one easy to access location. I will never be behind on blogs again! I shall be the world's smartest girl for only minutes a day! Internet smart at least. Fuck book/street smart--except the TV show. That shit was awesome. But yeah, if you don't already use Google Reader, do it. It's awesome. And has allowed me to keep in touch with blogs I never would have remembered to check. Such beautiful gems as these:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
I'd really recommend looking back through cake wrecks to the one that was supposed to be a congratulations on fatherhood. It truly is a "word journey."

I Give it an 8.3

2009-05-11T10:39:00.003-04:00

So I've been on this Weekend at Bernie's kick for a while now and I kind of feel like the dude who posted this ad for Telepathic Advertising. I too am now realizing that TV and media are following my thoughts and desires. First Flight of the Conchords, then Chuck, and now Sit Down, Shut Up. Weekend at Bernie's is everywhere. I even watched it over the weekend as a pick-me-up. It worked wonderfully and I even realized another reason I love this movie so much. Bernie Lomax is the ultimate essence of nonchalance. That man keeps such a straight face the entire time he plays dead. He's like my idol. And probably my halloween costume next year. Oh, and I think I know why Bret brought up WAB2. He was clearly in this parody film, Weekend at Fidel's. I dare you to tell me it's not him. This is like Figwit all over again.

This One Goes Out to My Momz

2009-05-10T18:24:00.004-04:00

Happy Mother's Day! From Sadie, Her Boo, and Flat Stanley

I've Made A Huge Mistake

2009-05-10T11:58:00.001-04:00

Last Week in NYC

2009-05-07T17:28:00.002-04:00

I don't think anyone's prepared for what comes next.

No Offense Sarah

2009-05-05T00:29:00.003-04:00

So I was catching up on my friends and noticed some guy had been commenting. I'm not sure if he's her friend, or family, or "short term lover" (more on that in a moment), but of course I staked him out. It was...interesting. Here are my favorite parts:

"I go to http://blogsearch.google.com and type in my mood and location. It's amazing what comes up. Sadly, it seems that women blog more in Chicago than guys do, so if I type chicago horny or logan square hungry into the blog search, it'll be 70% gals to 30% guys. Guys need to write more, and about more than sports." [emphasis his]
Is it really even necessary to explain? For one, if you're in a hungry mood why do you want to read blogs about being hungry or food? Just eat. This isn't the matrix and you aren't chiprunner. Eat food. And then why do you want to read blogs about horny dudes? Do you know how I scat this guy based on this sentence? Gay.

"I let her know something important: a woman can only be a princess once. Once she loses that luster, it's gone. My mind can convert a princess to a frogette in 3 seconds. Not over a vulgar mouth (princesses swear), not over her clothes or her makeup, and surely not over something like sex or promiscuity. Princesses lose their shine when they act like bitches."

I just love the fact that he said "Princesses lose their shine" and also that a lot of his writing reminds me of my good friend Justin. Part of me is just pretending this blog is his.

"When there is only one store within 100 miles of your house, you're trapped with their prices and quality. When there are 10 stores, you can squeeze the fruit, compare prices, and make a choice as to where to buy from."
He's talking about sleeping around. Isn't he such "a natural gentlemen"?

I also don't even want to think about the multiple uses of the term "short term lover" or the reference to "passionate lovemaking." I remember one time when I guy told me he "wanted to make love to me." We were drunk and I ran laughing into the bathroom where my friends were smoking cigarettes to tell them the story. Next thing I remember was waking up the next morning awkwardly beside him and still a virgin (thank god).

His next post starts off with a great description of himself which includes a very nice namedrop of French Connection (he might as well have said American Eagle or Pac Sun, namedropping jeans is bad enough). He then continues on with this:
"My hair is crazy long at the moment, down to my chin, and it had a great unkempt look to it. When I picked up a carton of cigarettes at the local gas station, my usual late-night gal said "Your hair looks like Johnny Depp's." I'll take a compliment, even from a 40-something gas station worker. I smiled and it never left my face all night."
I feel like I'm reading young adult fiction, the JPP story. But only if Johnny Depp had been replaced with Wolverine or Nicholas Cage.

He then meets a girl at a bar who tells him she has too much college debt. He blogs how, "I offer my condolensces, and let her know it's a common problem."
Really dude? Because I don't think she knew that before and I'm so impressed that you knew that and are sharing this information on the interweb. I'm sorry. It's been a long day and I'm cranky. Just one more and then I'll stop being a bitch.

He goes on to reference her "Target fashionable" outfit (a bit redundant I believe. Target implies the utmost fashion chic) and how he helps an "older black gentleman" outside White Castle while this girl watches--but he didn't know she could see. He was just being kind. And had to blog about it and how impressed she was with his kindness. They end up not doing the deed and the post ends with this:
"She's sexy, has a great face that is almost worthy of receiving my special gift after a night of hard and soft fucking (almost worthy), and she's definitely passionate and attentive.

We'll see. Today I'm off to pick up a DVD or two for the evening, and a nice bottle of wine to share with just myself."

What is this "special gift?" Because it really just sounds like bukake to me and for some reason I'd respect that a lot more than just normal ejaculation.

His labels also put mine to shame. Blog labels really tell something about the writer and what are recurring topics for them. Here are the ones for the last post:
Labels: great kisser, imperfect smile, invitation to fuck, kissing like teenagers, soft hands
That really just sums up the whole blog pretty well. Loves it. Now I need to get my cranky ass in bed. I have my last day at TONY tomorrow so I need to be wide awake before I go there so that when I fall asleep googling shit like "Liev Schreiber fansites" and "Wilmer Valderama" I won't completely pass out on my desk.

You Can Not Has Cheezburger

2009-04-30T13:47:00.003-04:00

So I haven't written a real post in a long time and I'm still not going to today. Instead, I'm just going to post this:

I would totally go see this as a full length feature but I know it'd just end up like that time Sarah and I rented the "Kittens!" dvd. You think it'll be awesome, but it's just really boring after about seven minutes.

The Gig is Up

2009-04-22T16:06:00.003-04:00

Yes, I watch American Idol. I'll admit it. But only because it's a thing I do with my boyfriend. We watch, we judge, we mock, we predict but most importantly, we don't vote. I don't care that much about Idol. It's just become this bonding thing we do together. I'm not a Claymate or a FANtasia or even a Glambert. But that does lead me into my next discussion.

Adam Lambert. Gay. Straight. Bi. Who cares? Well, a lot of people do which is why I think Adam is declining to comment. This guy Googles himself so much he bases his hairstyles of how fans prefer him. Boy is playing the game! Hence, the maybe not wanting to come out of the closet in the middle of a competition whose winner is almost entirely chosen by a bunch of middle-aged and tween Christian girls. He really has nothing to worry about. He's already won which kind of has taken all the fun out of watching (along with the fact I'm a billion miles away from my boyfriend and therefore are now watching without him, his soda to steal, his popcorn, or just anyone to listen to my wardrobe critques and snarky comments). My point is people are getting all up into a fuss about Adam mainly due to these photographs. After I first saw these I never really followed the dramz further until I came across this video:

First off: Sepia tone? This is 2009!!! I can make phone calls and play music through a windbreaker and you can even record a color video?
Before I was even given enough time to recover from the color scheme and horrible animations (kiss lips, really?) I was hit with maybe one of the stupidest things I have ever heard on the Internet. "Good looking people aren't gay."
I'm sorry, what? If that is how this girl bases sexuality she is in for a looooong life of singleness. It also just goes to support my theory that because of Adam Lambert. in eight years or so America will be overrun with faghags who fell so head-over-heels for the Glam Man that they went for guys like him the rest of their lives. Guys who meticulously styled their hair, wore makeup, tight fitting and fashionable clothing, overdramatic songs/showtumes, and--Oh yeah, make out with dudes. I know there are a lot of gay guys who aren't like that and there are a lot of straight guys who are, but stereotypes are often based on truths or result in them becoming true. I also don't get who this girl thinks is running the big Adam Lambert conspiracy but she seems very upset about it (fist slam!!!!). This girl goes on to tell the audience to "have an open mind" and that he can't be gay! He's Christian!!!! This girl needs to open her mind and smell the glitter!

I'm really sorry about this post. It's terrible. So forgive me, Sarah.

You Have Got to Anticipate Me!

2009-04-15T23:57:00.004-04:00

So basically for the past week and a half I've mentioned Weekend at Bernie's Two fairly often, probably daily. I just couldn't possibly figure out the basis for a sequel and then once I looked it up it sounded to absurd to be true. Here's the wiki summary:
It is the sequel to the 1989 comedy Weekend at Bernie's and continues the misadventures of two young executives, Larry Wilson (Andrew McCarthy) and Richard Parker (Jonathan Silverman), and their deceased boss, Bernie Lomax (Terry Kiser). In the first film, Larry and Richard were forced to create the illusion that Bernie was still alive in order to avoid being killed themselves. In the sequel, Larry and Richard plot to use Bernie to find treasure he had buried at the Virgin Islands. Before stuffing the body into a suitcase and heading for fortune, however, Bernie is partially revived in a botched voodoo ceremony and made to walk toward the hidden treasure whenever he hears music.
I'm obsessed. It sounds like Earth Girls Are Easy quality almost. I just need to see it. But anyways, I've been talking about it none stop and I went to see Flight of the Conchords tonight (it was amazing by the way) and in the middle of "Jenny" Bret busted out into a Weekend at Bernie's Two discussion and I could not contain myself. It was like he read my mind. Maybe I should put out mind ads like this guy. Also, Bret was looking a little beat down but Jermaine was looking fiiiiiine. I've officially switched teams. Speaking of people who look suprisingly attractive:

Oh yeah, and go to the rescue. Or at least check out all the videos.
XOXO,
Gossip Gennis

Totally (Does Not) Look Like

2009-04-10T00:24:00.005-04:00

So all day I've been seeing the Kourtney Kardashian Maxim pictures and I seriously do not understand how no one pointed out the absurd amount of photoshopping done to her. So much to the point where no matter how long I stare, after watching so many episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I just cannot recognize her. It looks like a completely different person.
Is it just me? Or am I being crazy that they did photoshop overload? And speaking of people who don't look like how they normally do...
Based on this picture alone, I would actually bang Freddie Prinze Jr. And now I want to watch Head Over Heels again.

Great.

Glamour-ughhh (Flossy, Flossy)

2009-04-08T16:10:00.005-04:00

So I was just catching up on some blogs after class today and was reading an article on Jezebel about how Glamour did a "Best Suit for Your Body" kind of deal and actually showed different bodies. Yay, for them and all that. I do have to give them credit for showing off different bodies but I just cannot believe how terrible wrong their advice was for a girl in my situation. I fall under the category of "busty" and according to Glamour 1/2 of the best suits for me are essentially crap.
A bandeau top? Are you kidding me? And that blue onesie is none the better. They also have to be joking with that bottom left purple triangle top. I had to abandon triangle tops before I was abandoned body glitter! They even say in the Do's and Dont's to abandon the triangle. It just really irked me because us busty, skinny girls have a real issue finding fitting swimwear and it can be done! This spread is just the opposite of helpful. Just because a suit comes in "D" or "DD" does not actually mean it is meant to hold in twins that big. Last year though, I was able to find a swimsuit in my size (30G) that was a cute bikini and not a tankini. So for anyone else out there who has trouble getting cute, fitting, and not outrageously expensive swimsuits or bras check out Figleaves. It is my God (but hopefully only until June 1 when I say goodbye to Mary-Kate and Ashley and say hello to cheap Target swim suits!)

Sunny Sunday

2009-04-05T12:45:00.005-04:00

After being sick and a rainy weekend in which I had to trek all over Williamsburg the sun has finally come out (literally and figuratively). I got my ideal apartment (more to come on that later), I'm healthy, I have food in my cabinets again, I'm going to a tarot reading at 3. This is the start of a brand new day. A beautiful, hardwood floored, exposed brick, garden apartment kind of day where I am regularly blessed with images like this one from Sarah:
So let's just all rejoice, put cheese on something and toast it!

They Forgot Oranjello

2009-04-01T19:58:00.003-04:00

If you like that, you might also want to check out Black People Love Us. Or just Veronica Mars.

Only My Boyfriend Gets to Touch My Hair and Eat with his Mouth Full

2009-03-30T22:12:00.004-04:00

So every week we gather in Kelly's room and every week we gather hope for this week's episode to mark the triumphant return of Gossip Girl and every week we are left saying "I think next week's going to be good though." Our level of unhappiness is shown in the heightened time we allow ourselves to watch One Tree Hill to satisfy our need for absurd drama. Today it was up to twenty minutes. I do actually have some hope for next week though. This week's was better (all the Derota face time), though I did have to hold down some vomit during the Chuck/Vanessa nastiness. It's even worse knowing they do that in real life too. I was also very proud of myself for totally calling that the fanmail was from Dan's brother (I'm going to kill Writing Teen Fiction next semester. Absolutely kill!).

But Ok, I didn't really have anything to say about Gossip Girl. I just wanted an excuse to post that picture of Dream Me with Dream Boyfriend with Dream Hot Dog. The only thing that could make that picture better was if Kristen Bell was eating something with cheese on it that was toasted. Now that'd be perfection.